When Darkness Falls
by Seeker of the Night
Summary: Ch 24 up!Firiel, half-elven, were sent as a messenger to ask the force of Mirkwood for help. There, she found more than what she had expected as her long lost love came into her life once again. Heavy editing session... I'm picking this back up!
1. The Third Istari: Radagast The Brown

Solitude by SilverDragonWolf  
  
AN: Thanks to all who reviewed any of my stories. It's a really good feeling to now that there's someone out there that read my story.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters as they belong to professor Tolkien that I very much admire. It's the creation of his genius mind and so it should remains. The name Fíriel was taken from one of Tolkien's poem and I'm just borrowing it for a little while. But other names belong to me and so is the character on which the name implies to.  
  
This story started from the year 2941 of the Third Age of the Sun 'till after the fellowship of the ring, though the story will traced back from the year 3429 of the Second Age of the Sun. (It's just a few year before the first overthrow of Sauron). It's linked with scenes from LOTR closely. I don't have any of my character joining the fellowship. Tolkien had chosen the fellowship and I tried followed it. As I said, it's closely linked as the story would be on the scene that Tolkien had left us to ponder our little minds into. Those that he did not write specifically. i.e. the searching of Gollum. Sometimes, though, I have to break this statement, as it would make the story quite impossible to write to make any sense. There's also more romance in this story than in 'The Journey Of A Soul' where it focused more on drama. I hope you like it.  
  
So that's all from my babbling and me. On with the story.  
  
Chapter 1: The Third Istari: Radagast The Brown  
  
Gandalf cast his eyes away from the trees. His mind was filled with fear. Fear that they had let their guard down for too long. Fear that Sauron may come to his full power after many years in hiding. Why did he let Saruman overrules him? Now, it's clear that Sauron is seeking for The One and perhaps they cannot stop him anymore. Dread came upon his heart as he wandered of what will befall them should The Ring come to Sauron's hand again. No. He will not let it happen. He will stop Sauron with every power that the Valar bestowed him even if it means sacrificing his own life.  
  
He looked still to the horizon, waiting for his friend to come. It has been a long time since he met his old friend, Saruman and Radagast. The last time they met was on another meeting of the White Council, though Radagast and Saruman have a close relationship and met every now and then. Knowing that it would probably be a while until any of them will come, he turned around to meet the gaze of Elrond.  
  
"What do you think we should do, Mithrandir?" Elrond was discussing the plan of the battle with Galadriel and it seems that the two of them could not find an agreement. Gandalf walked slowly toward them, leaning heavily on his staff. The world has left him wearier every passing age. It seemed that the problem with this One Ring would have no end.  
  
"I think we should attack Dol Guldur from the east of Anduin, Mithrandir," Elrond spoke, "With the vast amount of armies we have, it will be with great difficulty for us to attack under the shade of Mirkwood. And am I wrong to say that Mirkwood is a dangerous place."  
  
"But have you forgotten, Lord Elrond, that you have the Galadhrim amongst you. Their strength laid amongst the trees," a familiar voice greeted them. Radagast appeared with Saruman beside him. A raven perched on his shoulder as usual. "Is it not what you are worried about, Lady Galadriel?"  
  
"Indeed, it is so, Radagast the Brown. I fear that I will send the Galadhrim for nothing."  
  
"Then what shall we do?"  
  
"Do not send the Galadhrim." Saruman looked at the rest of the Council. The look of disbelief was plainly written on their face.  
  
"But we need all the help we can get, Saruman. We need the Galadhrim for we will be out numbered then." Gandalf spoke for the first time.  
  
"I understand that. But if sending the Galadhrim is to no avail, then what is the use of sending them at all?" All was silent at this statement. It was true what he said yet they also could not win this battle with the number of elves they have without the Galadhrim. They will lose for sure. The silent was broken by Gandalf's voice.  
  
"Is it possible to ask the elves in Mirkwood to help us also? They could attack Dol Guldur from the wood for their strength also laid amongst the trees."  
  
"It would take a very long time for us to travel all the way to their Kingdom and back to Dol Guldur just to ask for their assistance, Mithrandir. It would also be impossible for us to travel fast with the amount of elves we have." Elrond objected to this idea.  
  
"But it is a good idea, Gandalf. A brilliant idea if not," Saruman said, "All we need is a messenger." He looked at Radagast and Radagast seemed to understand his meaning.  
  
"I agree, Gandalf. What we need is a messenger."  
  
"But who will be fast enough to go all the way to the realm of Thranduil and go back to Dol Guldur before the battle even ended?" Galadriel looked at the rest of the Council. No one seemed to be able to do the task.  
  
"There is one who might be able to." Radagast said reading Galadriel's troubled mind. The council looked at him with outmost curiosity. All except Saruman who had given the advice in the first place. Then he commanded, "Come, show yourself!"  
  
For a moment nothing happened then the raven on Radagast shoulder flew and shape-shift in front of them. In it place stood a figure in black robe with hood upon its face and a staff in its hand. It turned to face Radagast, ready to do what its master bids it to do.  
  
Elrond gave the figure a cynical look. He could not simply trust a bird that turned into a man (if the figure *is* a man). He could not trust anything, it seems, the last couple of years, with the condition of the world they live in; it was hard to trust anyone. But it seemed that there was no other way. After all, Radagast know of this mysterious person.  
  
"There is not much time left. You know of what to do." Radagast said urgently.  
  
The figure stood nodded in agreement straight away. It stared into the horizon but it did nothing otherwise. Not a single movement nor noise escaped from it. The council simply looked at the figure. Not knowing of what it would do then out from the sky came the most magnificent creature they had ever seen.  
  
First, all they could make out was a dark shadow. As it advanced, they could saw its shape, a silhouette against the orange sky. Its great wings beating now and then to keep it aloof, the feathers glistened in the setting sun. A great eagle flew down in front of the hooded figure. It gazed intently at the magic-user in front of it as if they were in deep conversation. Nodding slightly, the black figure mounted on top of it, taking great care not to let the hood that covered its face fell. The eagle seemed to take no burden from its weight and with a sweep from its wing, lifted them both to their destination, Mirkwood.  
  
Radagast saw the two disappear over the horizon and sighed, trying to eased the burden that had settled in his heart. "Who is this magic-user, Radagast?" Gandalf asked after a brief moment of silent. He saw the grief in Radagast eyes as the figure disappeared from their visions and wondered at this. "Why do you worry so?"  
  
"The mage is my apprentice but my worry is on the battle. Come my friends. There are still many things to attend to and already night is approaching." And with that Radagast the Brown left the council.  
  
********************  
  
Fíriel held the feathers on the eagle's neck gently, knowing that she would not fell from the back of her trustful friend. Her mind bidded him to go on. Fire burned in her heart as she remembered of her past. Hatred burned there and a deep desire to finished what he left her.  
  
Her mind wandered back and a thousand year, a thousand passed years flashed back in front of her. A longing slipped inside her heart. Oh, how much she missed his presence and his warm embrace. But those years passed and gone like autumn leaves, blown away by the wind and she knew it could not be returned to her. She gritted her teeth. How many times had she decided to leave this wretched world if not for the promised she gave him? She could not fail him. Her father.  
  
Yet what good has it done to her? All these years she sustained, gaining naught but nightmares to haunt her mind. Gaining naught but bitter memories at how many times she failed herself. Her dignity gone long ago and now she was but an empty soul. No spirit, no emotion, nothing.  
  
Forcing herself to forget her bitter past, she held close to the eagle's body. Her staff clasped tightly in her slender arm. Drawing warmth from under the feathers, she remembered once more of her father and closed her eyes.  
  
Gwaihir the Windlord flew with great speed. He knew the purpose of this journey he needed to make. He knew that his friends depended on him to reached the eaves of Mirkwood before the sun set again in the east. Below him laid a vast plain with no tree in sight but infront of him, he could saw trees towering in the horizon. Mirkwood was visible in his vision yet it was so hard to be reached.  
  
The eagle did not rest. Not while the burden was placed on his shoulder. Softly, he felt Fíriel's hand around him. He knew that she would soon sleep but even as he realised this, he also noticed that her will still rang in his mind, bidding him to go on. He knew the depth of her hatred, her ambitions and her passions. He knew of her closer than anyone else save one, or two perhaps. She had travelled with him for such a long time that he was accustomed with her presence.  
  
And so he knew that soon enough, he would hear the tune again. It had always sang in her mind everytime she fell asleep. And as her mind was linked to him, he could also hear it along with her urgent note to keep on going with their pursuit.  
  
The tune woven itself again in her mind, lulling Fíriel to sleep. The same tune, the same voice. An elven lady sang in her mind, unfaltered throughout the night. Singing the song in endless motion. The song might aswell be the source of her strength. Another reason why Fíriel was still sane enough to kept on going. Her past had changed many things from her. Too many. This and her never ending hatred would be the reason why she was still able to called Gwaihir to her need, the reason why she could still see the sun set in the west, the reason why she still lived.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok, obviously, nothing much happened in this chapter. I hope I haven't change so much from the original story and that the strategy can be understood. No romance yet, but expect it to come very soon. Like next chapter or maybe after. And please tell me whether my character is a Mary Sue or not. I've never could quite understand the term. 


	2. Arrival In Mirkwood. The Battle Begin

AN: I hope this story is good enough to be in FF.net. The title doesn't even match the story properly but for now it's good enough. So if anyone knows of a better title, plz tell me. And plz read and review. I don't mind flame so flame me if you must.  
  
Chapter 2: Arrival In Mirkwood. The Battle Begin.  
  
  
  
The sun shone brightly in the sky but inside the shade of Mirkwood, it was as dark and as cold as the night. It was to be expected as Gwaihir flew above it, blocking even the few of those rays that could warm the place. He could hear the battle raged far from their destination and wandered whether the elves had also hear and come to help the battle. Or perhaps the trees had also blocked this.  
  
"Gwaihir, the battle has started. I must reach the kingdom soon. Thank you for your help, my friend," A voice spoke softly.  
  
"Call me if you need any help,"  
  
"I know I can always depend on you." And with that, he felt his burden was lightened and then gone altogether. And as he flew away, he could saw a black raven flying down towards the thicket bellow him.  
  
  
  
FÃ­riel looked down at the thick foliage that covered Mirkwood, enveloping it in darkness, and found what she was looking for. A hole, small enough for her to go through. Flying down, she could saw a river beneath her. A sense of relief filled her heart. The river, she knew, would lead her to the kingdom. Or so Radagast said. It was just which way to go that she did not know. The river, after all, lead to two different destinations.  
  
She looked around, adjusting her eyes to the seemingly infinite darkness that surrounded her. As she done so, she slowly let the power that shield her ceased and revealed her true form. But she was not careful enough to saw the small pair of eyes that watched her as she descended into the river. When she noticed this, it was too late.  
  
She heard a small shriek behind a tree and walked towards it. Her robe, though, was soaked in water and it slowed her down. It seemed that she had chosen the wrong place to change back. Cursing inwardly, she instead stood silently.  
  
Seeing that the robed figure didn't make any suspicious movement, the young elf poked its head out from the tree. Unable to keep her curiosity at bay, she spoke in Common, "Are you the guardian of this river? If you are, I'm really sorry. I didn't meant to-"  
  
Her speech was stopped as she saw the figure shook slightly. Afraid that the hooded figure might fall, she ran out of her hiding, trying to catch it before it reached the bottom of the river. The figure though, seemed to stood perfectly still now and spoke to her. "I am as much a guardian of this river as you are."  
  
Alfirin stood in awe as she heard the voice that went through the black hood. The voice was not threatening or anything likes what she would have thought possible. The voice was soft though it spoke with a strange accent and yet it sounded familiar to her. The accent was after her grandmother.  
  
It was also a voice of a lady. A lady shrouded in darkness. Even in the dark wood that she was accustomed to, the figure was partly visible in her eyes. Should the lady stood in other places where light did not fall straight on her, she would be impossible to detect. She has an elven atmosphere around her but she felt deep down inside that something was different. She was and yet wasn't an elf. And this had somehow placed a fear in the young elf's heart.  
  
Trembling slightly, she spoke, "You're not a guardian of this river?" And in her voice, a tone of disappointment could be heard.  
  
  
  
FÃ­riel laughed at the elf's curiosity. She was so brave to have come out from her hiding. She could almost felt the young elf's spirit in her body, coursing through her veins. How much alike they were. Just like the time-  
  
No, FÃ­riel shook her head, blocking away the painful memory that threatened to conquer her mind once more. No, she could not allowed it to clouded her mind, the task in her hand was too important to be forgotten for some stupid reminiscent.  
  
The task! She had completely forgotten about it in the middle of her amusement with the young elf. How stupid has she become? She asked herself. So easily distracted. But then again, the elf's presence had brought too much upon her.  
  
A realisation was suddenly brought up by the question that escaped the elf's lip, distracting her thought once more. Thanking her inwardly, she realised how cold the water in the river was and stepped out of it. She walked slowly towards the trembling elf; not making any alarming move that might scare the elf away.  
  
Being aware of the disappointment in the elf's words, she couldn't help but smile and said, "No, little one. I'm afraid not. I have never been to Mirkwood and would like to meet Lord Thranduil. I'm hoping that you can show me the way?" And with that she lowered her hood, revealing her dark, impenetrable eyes that seemed to be as dark as the shadow that enveloped Mirkwood. Wind blew in her face and she greeted it like greeting an old friend. The wind played with her jet black hair, tossing it playfully from under her robe. A strand of hair fell on her face and she tucked it behind her leaf-shaped ear.  
  
  
  
"You're an elf!" Alfirin wondered at her sudden exclamation at the same time realising that she knew little of what the lady's purpose with her Lord. And so she expressed her thought. The lady looked at her with a penetrating gaze. The soft, doe-like eyes looked at the young elf as though the gaze was able to see to her soul.  
  
The gaze made her inside churned and she wished that the lady would not looked at her in that way. But this impression left as soon as it came and instead, Alfirin found herself being held by a gentle, almost motherly gaze. It reminded her so much of her own mother. This made her found herself wondering whether she was imagining things again.  
  
The lady sighed deeply and said, "I have not introduced myself. I'm FÃ­riel, apprentice of Radagast. My master have sent me to speak to King Thranduil regarding the matter on Dol Guldur."  
  
At the mention of Dol Guldur, a cried escaped from the young elf. "It is an accursed place. I'm Alfirin," she said, reminded that she had not properly introduced herself either, "The place that you speak of is under siege, I believe." Looking at FÃ­riel's expression she knew that the lady knew also of this matter. In fact, it seemed that *she* was surprised to see that the matter was known to this young elf.  
  
"How do you know?" FÃ­riel asked curiously, affirming her thoughts.  
  
Alfirin simply shrug. "Well, it was obvious since my uncle is one of the archers that was sent to that evil place. I wish he would not leave..." Her voice broke, trying get rid of the lump in her throat. She knew what this means. Dol Guldur held a strong evil power as many had said and she had been reluctant to let her uncle leave. She was afraid that she would lose him just like she had lost her father.  
  
FÃ­riel didn't notice the change in her faltered voice or in her expression. Her mind was thinking of the war that raged on miles from where she stood. She must travel swiftly in order to catch up with the elves. And even after doing so, she was not sure whether the elves would accept her...except.  
  
"Alfirin, could you help me? I need to meet these elves-"  
  
"Why?" Alfirin stared at her in disbelief. The elves were reluctant to leave and had done so only for the sake of getting rid of the evil that had haunted the place. But this lady had wanted to do so eagerly.  
  
Now it was FÃ­riel who shrugged. "Don't you want to get rid of these evil? I'm merely trying to help and it is also my master will. I dare not defy him."  
  
Alfirin stood in silence, not knowing of what to do. After a while she decided to leave the matter. If the lady have decided, it would be unlikely that she could change her mind. And of this master of her, well what can she say? She might be able to help them after all and thinking so, she nodded and changed her direction.  
  
  
  
The two companions walked for a while in silence. Each drowned in their own thoughts. They have walked for a long while, yet the elves were still beyond their sights. FÃ­riel grew restless, knowing that the battle had already began. In her heart, she wondered whether the young elf does know of the path those elves took.  
  
Meanwhile, Alfirin felt a sense of foreboding that something was greatly amiss. The elven lady, though did nothing suspicious, still has that atmosphere around her that made Alfirin felt uneasy. The way she dressed did not made matter any better. Even the fact that they were akin could not diminished the fear inside her heart. She soon found that she simply could not took her gaze away from her in fear of what she could not comprehend.  
  
FÃ­riel, however, did not noticed this. She quickened her pace with every passing time, her staff clutched in her hand. This forced the young elf to quickened her pace aswell. She even found herself running alongside with the lady.  
  
This is not right, Alfirin thought, I was the one who supposed to lead the way.  
  
Her mind taught her to stopped and leave the lady on her own as she found herself to be falling behind and could not caught up with the lady's quickening pace. But to her surprise, FÃ­riel stopped.  
  
FÃ­riel looked behind and saw that the young elf behind her was out of breath. She stopped, letting  
  
Alfirin to catch her breath and sat down, much to Alfirin's pleasure who simply threw herself down beside a tree. She looked at the girl with concern. How can she meet the elves on time. Yet she needed the girl's help and so she calmed her mind.  
  
Alfirin looked at the lady beside her and for the first time realised how weary the lady was. Yet concern was deep in her eyes. She tried to caught her breath quickly, knowing how much FÃ­riel wanted to continue with their journey. After a while, FÃ­riel looked at her again and put up her hood, indicating that they whould leave soon. Alfirin nodded. She was ready to go on but she found herself wanting to know more of this mysterious lady. She opened her mouth, going to say something when FÃ­riel held up her hand to keep her silent.  
  
"Hear that?" FÃ­riel whispered. Her voice was soft enough so that nothing could hear her except the young elf that stood beside her. Alfirin nodded again. She could hear the breaking of branches and the soft rustle of the grass. It seemed to come from in front of them. She gestured foward and walked towards the source of the sound, leading FÃ­riel who followed behind.  
  
"It's close" Alfirin whispered. The source of the sound seemed to moved slower than them. "Come, it's this way!" Alfirin started to ran foward but a slender hand held hers, forcing her to stop. "Ouch! It-"  
  
"Shh." Alfirin started to protest but again the atmosphere that the face beneath the hood carried stopped her. "Wolves," FÃ­riel's voice was barely a whisper making her shivered involuntarily, "behind us."  
  
Dread fell to her heart as the message sank in. Fear was in her eyes and FÃ­riel saw this clearly. "You cannot fight, can you?" She nodded, not wanting to make anymore noise. "I've brought you to this."  
  
The next sentence was not directed to her but she could hear it nonetheless. She shook her head. "No, I-"  
  
Her voice was drowned as the wolves found their prey. "Climb up! Hurry! I'll hold them back."  
  
"No, I cannot-"  
  
"This is not the time to argue with me. DO AS I SAY!"  
  
"But-"  
  
"Leave!"  
  
Alfirin looked at her in doubt but she saw determination in those dark brown eyes. She shifted her gaze and saw the wolves running closer to them. Looking back at FÃ­riel, she made up her mind and climbed up as fast as she could, leaving FÃ­riel behind.  
  
FÃ­riel looked to the wolves around her, closing slowly around her unmoving figure. She stood resolutely, the hand that held her staff gripped it tight. She must choose her move wisely. With this situation, she could not ran away and to transfigure herself into a bird took too much time. Something that she did not have a lot of. So it's either magic or...  
  
One of the wolf leaped foward, it's mouth wide open ready to devoured the seemingly defenceless figure. FÃ­riel was ready to attacked when an arrow sprang from behind her. It struck the wolf through it's mouth, killing it instantly. FÃ­riel was surprised at this but she still has a problem in front of her. She readied herself for another attack but the wolves ran away. She looked around to see what happened and she saw Alfirin grinning widely with a group of archers behind her. "I've found them!" 


	3. Decisions

AN: Thank you to Catherine for reviewing this story. Thank you so much. You have no idea what it means for me.  
  
By the way, // denote thoughts and ### is for flashback.  
  
Chapter 3: Decisions.  
  
Alfirin grumbled angrily. How is it that Fíriel could come with the company while she had to come back to the kingdom? It's unfair. After all, she had also come all the way to find the elves. And she was the one who *found* the elves. Without her, Fíriel would be the wolves' lunch by now.  
  
Maybe that was also the reason why Fíriel had kept her identity secret. Maybe, if she had told them of Fíriel's true identity, Fíriel would not be able to come too. //How smart,// she thought inwardly. //Should I know, I would've done the same. But how?// the realisation did nothing to calmed her heart. She has to come with the elves. She could not let *him* to go alone. What if something happen? And now Fíriel's also coming with him. Two reasons for another sleepless night. Again.  
  
Alfirin, although young in the eyes of elves, had her share of pain and sorrow. Her father died years ago while fighting a band of orcs. These orcs seemed to have taken great interest with the elves' dwelling. They would love to take control of the elves that they had envied for so long for their beauty and the fact that they did not lived under the slavery of such a cruel master. Her mother had not married another ever since, and Alfirin had taken her uncle to filled the position of her father. But she would never forget her beloved father. And now, having to face a fact that he had to leave also, filled her heart with dread. What if she loses another that has a special place in her heart? What if she loses the one she loved? Again?  
  
But this could also be another reason why she was not to come. Her father had died while protecting her mother. Or so they said. And it seemed that they did not wanted her to get in the way. //Well then, if I could help by not coming then perhaps I should not come after all.// The thought rest her heart's turmoil as she walked to where Fíriel sat.  
  
Fíriel sat furthest away from the elves, in the darkest part. The light touched her but a little and still she had her hood up, covering her head. She looked at nothing in particular and seemed to be deep in her own world. Alfirin looked at her and her thought wandered back again.  
  
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"Who is this person you wanted to show us Alfirin?" Legolas said. The mere sound from him had made her trembled slightly. This was the son of King Thranduil, her Lord, and to be addressed by him was a great honour. She blushed nervously and was going to answer him when Fíriel interrupted.  
  
"I am an apprentice of Radagast. My master had sent me to ask for your aid in the war against Sauron in Dol Guldur." Fíriel had spoken in a totally different voice altogether. Her voice had sounded like a man's voice. Alfirin suspected that she must have done something quite as unnatural as turning into a crow. Or maybe turning into an elf from being a crow.  
  
Suddenly, Alfirin found herself to be even more afraid of this lady. If she is a lady. Or she could be a totally different being altogether. Maybe she was sent by Sauron to attack the elves before they could do anymore damage to the war.  
  
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"Then I would have attacked right now, young one." A voice whispered in her ear. Alfirin looked around to see the face beneath the hood. She gasped as she saw Fíriel looking at her with that gaze that seems to penetrate her mind. "And indeed I could." Fíriel said, reading her thoughts. "that is why I had showed you my true identity. I know you intended no harm."  
  
"And as for me being Sauron's servant, you could not possibly put me in a worse state. I am what you see me now." Seeing that Alfirin still did not believe her, she continued, "I could not stay in another form for very long for it will slowly sap my energy. I won't be able to even moved by now and you should be able to see through it."  
  
Yet still, Alfirin did not trusted her. "But of course you would not attacked for you cannot fight and still weakened from the journey."  
  
Fíriel looked at the young elf and sniggered. Seeing that Alfirin was offended, she explained, "Weakened? Nay, my curious friend, I could not easily *weakened* from such a short journey. I could use my power should I choose to and even if I could not, I have other ways. Many other ways, my friend."  
  
Alfirin looked at her and saw that she told the truth. Her heart wanted to trusted the lady in front of her yet her mind still could not fully do so. "Then why did you not tell them of your true identity?"  
  
"They would not let me come." Fíriel said simply. "You know of their decision with you. There is no doubt that they will do the same to me and I cannot afford that. My master will be most displeased. You knew of this I see. You should trust your intuition more."  
  
Fíriel started to walk away but Alfirin caught up with her. She needed to know more of this lady. "Then am I right that you know of...of...?"  
  
Whether or not she heard what Alfirin said, Fíriel did not stopped and the young elf walked together beside her. Just as she thought that the lady would not speak to her anymore, a voice came from under the hood. "Yes, I know of it. I'm not trying to read every person's life but some things are just too clear to be missed. I knew how it feel, Alfirin, perhaps better than you do. After all you still have Er-Galadh."  
  
Alfirin looked at her with surprise for the lady had said her uncle's name yet she had never told her of it. But something else that she said nagged her.  
  
"You said you know what it feel...what it feel to lose a father?"  
  
Fíriel sighed at this and said in a poignant tone, "Yes. I believe I said those words. I've lost mine, you see, quite some years ago. How long has it been? Three thousand...two thousand years? I cannot remember clearly. I could not even remember how old I was. Fourteen...or was it fifteen? Human years that is," she said after looking at Alfirin's expression.  
  
Alfirin was taken aback by Fíriel's words. How young she was. Young not just in the eyes of elves but also in the eyes of man. "I'm sorry." Alfirin thought of leaving her alone as she feared that she had unwillingly brought back what must have been a painful memory back but Fíriel simply looked at her and smiled. And as she looked deep into her doe-like eyes, she founded no sorrow, just deep longing. And somehow, she had also saw compassion in them. And so she braved herself and said, "Do you miss him?"  
  
"Of course. It was so long ago, yet it was so close. But I suppose I can accept it now. After all, he would've not lived 'till this time in any case."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Fíriel was about to answer when an elf walked towards them. It was Er- Galadh from what Alfirin could gather. His silver hair marked clearly against the dark surroundings, contrasting with the darkness on her side. Fíriel stopped, again, in the darkest part possible. Something that had always made her so afraid of the robed figure.  
  
The elf regarded Fíriel closely before greeted her as formally as possible. Alfirin smiled as she realised that he also feared her. Perhaps more than her. Somehow, this also amused the lady for she smiled from under the hood before she replied with the same courtesy. Her unusual voice was back, much to the young elf's discontent yet somehow she felt her fear ceasing. She wandered at this, not knowing why but it seemed that she trusted her. Even though she was still surrounded in darkness, it seemed to Alfirin, that a light shone beneath the shade of her hood.  
  
//Maybe because I had found out more of her,// she thought, //Maybe because she had shared the same experience, the same pain with me?// It was a unique way of building a trust but it seemed to had worked with them.  
  
Her thought was interrupted as her uncle, having done the formalities, spoke to her. "Alfirin, we understand why you have come and we thank you for it." He cast an displeased look at Fíriel who seemed to have ignored them completely and continued, " But you must leave tomorrow yet we cannot leave you alone. for although you know of this wood, it is still dangerous for you to thread along without a companion. One of us will accompany you back ."  
  
At this, the irritation that was cooled down inside of her was set afire again. Who is he to know that she could not even go back safely. She was not that incompetent. Somehow, her fear of losing was replaced by anger and it showed in her eyes.  
  
"Why can't I come? I will be able to help. You know of what I can do. I'm skilled in the art of healing. I can and I want to help."  
  
Er-Galadh glances at his niece worriedly. He knew her for too long to ignored this behaviour. He knew that once she had set up her mind, she would never change them. Her determination, although could be inspiring, sometimes could create more problems in an already complicated situation. He sighed at her stubbornness.  
  
"Worry not, young one, for I am also skilled in such art." The voice taken both of them by surprise. It appeared that they have forgotten about the silent figure beside them. "Should you come, it will not only put yourself in danger but also others around you for their concentration will be split from you and the task ahead of them."  
  
"But it would be the same should you come." Alfirin protested. She was to come with them no matter what.  
  
"Nay, it won't be the same for they cared more of you than they are of me. If there is any." she added sardonically. Er-Galadh flinched at the words and was about to object but Fíriel held out her hand and continued, "in any case, Er-Galadh is right. You will be in constant danger should you approach Dol Guldur with or without company. Have you not said that Dol Guldur is an accursed place?" Er-Galadh cringed at the mention of Dol Guldur.  
  
Alfirin also cringed at the sound of the name that has brought horror to her dreams and suddenly realised how terrified she really was. She glanced a hurtful look at her uncle and nodded in agreement.  
  
Er-Galadh sighed in relief at her niece's change of mind. He thanked the robed figure hastily before leaving the two of them alone to continue with their previous conversation.  
  
"He appeared to be pleased to leave us be." Fíriel spoke, "Or perhaps to leave me be."  
  
Alfirin ignored her sarcastic words and said instead, "Why did you stopped me? You are as inept at using weapon as I am."  
  
Fíriel looked at Alfirin and thought for a while before answering, "Perhaps…perhaps. But remember that I am a magic-user. I am capable of protecting myself should I am threatened."  
  
"Like the time with the wolves?"  
  
Fíriel ignored the remark and kept on going as if nothing had been said, "In any case, as I have said, they care naught of me. They will not be distracted should anything happen to me."  
  
"That…" Alfirin could not brought herself to say that she cared also for her. I was ridiculous the way she felt about this lady. After all, she was still a mystery for her.  
  
Fíriel gazed at the girl intently and saw the worry in her heart. She smiled reassuringly and said, "Believe me when I said that those wolves could not harmed me. But the elves had come before the fun begin."  
  
Alfirin stare at the face beneath the hood and saw that it was telling the truth. She lowered her gaze, not daring to asked of her heart desire.  
  
But Fíriel have seen it and said," I will do what you whished me to do. No harm will come upon him. Not as long as I live."  
  
Alfirin was shocked by the statement that Fíriel made for her wish. She rested her gaze on the grass, tears welled in her eyes. "I…I don't mean to be…I…It's just, I…"  
  
"Hush." Fíriel looked at the young elf, compassion in her eyes. "I understand how it felt. I've been there, remember?" Alfirin looked up to be held by a loving gaze. The gaze that had reminded her of her mother yet somehow it was different this time. There were understanding in it the way her mother's will never have. She let herself into her warm embrace and realised suddenly how much she missed her mother.  
  
Fíriel hugged the young elf in front of her and her memory wandered back. She remembered how reluctant she was when Elen had cried and hugged her. But this time, it was her who hugged the grieving girl though it was and will never be Elen. She was gone from her life. Time had claimed her many years ago as it has taken her father and perhaps also her mother. Her mother, whose voice were the only memory she had of her. How much she longed to see her face or to feel her presence. Something that she had never experienced in life.  
  
"Sleep now," Fíriel whispered against the sobbing and started to sing the only elven song she knew and lulled Alfirin to sleep just the way it has lulled Elen, her daughter, to sleep. And slept she had, her dear daughter. An eternal sleep. 


	4. Plans

AN: Thank you sooooooooooooooooo much to all who reviewed (in or outside FF.net)! I love you all! : ) Thanks for all the encouraging reviews, and very constructive in some cases. They really motivate me to keep on going and so this is the fourth chapter.

Chapter 4: Plans

Alfirin looked at the elf walking next to her. He doesn't look back at her but she knew that he was aware of her presence nonetheless. She eyed the elf carefully, wandering whether she had chosen the right thing. The elf was acutely aware of his surrounding and was walking very quickly. So quick that sometimes Alfirin found that she was running instead. The elf was obviously whishing to go back to its previous task as soon as possible. Realising that it was probably for the best, she rested her thought and ran forward, trying to catch up with the fast elf in front of her.

As she ran, she spotted a white stone, covered in moss beneath her feet. The familiar stone greeted her cheerfully; oblivious to the war that raged on leagues from where it stood. To it, world means naught and so was the affairs that happened in the forest in which it resided. Alfirin envied the stone. She also whished that her life was as simple as that. No pain, no suffering. Just felt time ebbing away as the age pass by. 

As she saw the familiar stone, she realised that they were nearing the kingdom and should arrived there soon. There was no time to change her mind and Alfirin knew this. She shook her head, trying to diminish the sense of foreboding that had occupied her soul ever since her leave from both Er-Galadh and Fíriel. The knowledge of Fíriel's past did not lessen the feeling. If anything happened to it, it had increase instead, leaving her more miserable than she was before. Something was going to happen and she knew it, but how could she help? She was, after all, unable to fight and her skill was already mastered by the elf lady. But something was going to happen and she could not stood silent and left it behind as though nothing happened. The last time she felt it, it has been her father's death. She shuddered at the sudden memory and made up her mind.

"Come Alfirin, hurry. You know that I must go back as soon as possible to the rest of the company." The elf looked at her irritably. She had stopped her pace when she was lost in her thought. 

She muttered her apology when a sudden idea struck her mind. She contemplated on it for a while before saying, "Leave me now then. You will, as you've said, be needed and I know the way from here. No harm will come unto me. You have done your task. I will be alright now."

The elf looked at Alfirin for a while, apparently considering her offer. He gazed forward to where the kingdom laid and shifted it to the south of Mirkwood where the war raged. Thinking that the young elf's offer was for the best after all, he nodded in agreement and left.

Alfirin watched as the elf's figure disappeared behind a tree. She smiled triumphantly before running after the elf, carefully keeping the distance between them.

*****

Er-Galadh eyed the robed figure. He, like his niece, had also figured out that it had always stood in the darkest part of the wood. Or at least the part that was the darkest at the time. He wandered at this custom as they waited for the elf that was to escort Alfirin back to the kingdom. He was suspicious about the figure. Something about the figure had always distracted him from his concentration and he always found himself wandering ever towards the face beneath the hood.

//Why did he always put up his hood? Even as he sleep he would never cast it down. Like he is hiding something. Something that we should not know. But what?// Er-Galadh wandered, //What?//

Er-Galadh also saw the relationship between the hooded figure and his niece. A pang of feeling surged his heart as he saw Alfirin slept peacefully in his embrace. His niece seemed to have trust the mysterious figure as easily as the rest of the elves, and he didn't like it. Could it be that it was because of his experience that he over-reacted to this intruder?

He was one of some that had survived the War of The Last Alliance. The time when Sauron was defeated and the One Ring was taken away from him. He wasn't sure of what had happened to the Ring but he knew that whatever happened to it, Sauron was not defeated yet. The prove came into his life years after the war in which he had thought that, for once, his could live his life in peace. Creatures of darkness came to the wood in which he live, invading his life once again. 

He sighed. It would most likely be him after all. He, though, thought that the young elf was too naive. Very unlike her. He had watched them after he left the two alone. Whatever the figure had told Alfirin, it was not to be trusted.

"Er-Galadh, come! We are going now." Legolas called, waking him from his thoughts. He looked at the young prince in disbelief. They were supposed to wait. "What had changed his mind?" Er-Galadh asked himself in confusion.

"Perhaps I can help you in that, Er-Galadh," a voice whispered in his ear. He turned around in surprise. He did not hear any footsteps nearing and yet there he was, that hooded figure, behind his back. 

He glanced at the apprentice of Radagast irritably before saying, "What is it that you know?"

"More than what *you* know, that is for sure." the figure replied sardonically then shrugged, "But I see that it simply the cause of your ignorance."

"What prove do you have to say such accusation?" Er-Galadh replied angrily. He was annoyed by the presence of someone who would not showed his face for he could not study the change of expression, if there was any. The shadow had always fell upon the hood making it impossible to see within. 

"You were not present when your prince, Legolas, called for your counsel. But he has no need for it now for the decision has been made. We are leaving now."

"How is it that my Lord change his mind?" Er-Galadh asked, his attention was given again at the sudden decision.

"It is done so as we do not have time to wait any longer for the elf to return without missing the war altogether." The figure shook his head ever so slightly but it could still be seen nonetheless. "No, we cannot afford that."

"What made him think so?" But even as the question escaped his lip, the answer had woven itself inside his head. He gasped at the realisation and spoke slowly with obvious control over the anger that stirred inside of him. "What did you said to him?" he whispered, afraid that others might hear and disapproved of his question over Legolas' authority, even if it was influenced by this treacherous man. "What have you done?"

"I was trying to help. Fear not, the elf know of the way and will not be in any danger if it is what your main concern lays."

Er-Galadh glared at the calmness of his adversary. He envied as well as respected him, though he loathed to admitted it. He had answered his mind as though he was able to read through it. Yet he still could not understand. 

The figure was able to make decision with such emotional detachment, that he could understand. How his prince could possibly agreed with it, he could not. However, it seemed that he must leave it till later for the company had started to walk again, leaving the two of them behind.

"Come, Er-Galadh. We must leave. Trust me. We will meet your friend again. Sooner than what you think but all in good time." he whispered in his ear ominously, "All in good time."

Rettaw, I know about the tactic of Sauron, but not everything I can reveal in a short three chapter. Plus I don't think the White Council would know anything about it. The plan for war was already planned before hand and so the meeting in the first chapter was only to decide on how they would do it and basically leave ASAP as they would, no doubt, wanted to get rid of Sauron (especially Saruman. Imagine how anxious he is!) I think the White Council know of Sauron's existence in Dol Guldur at this time. It was written in both LotR (first and in the appendix) and The Silmarillion. I don't think I would involved many upper classed people. Hopefully this doesn't tell too much about the plot of this story...Thank you so much for the constructive criticism as this is the only way one realise one's mistake and learn from it.

Many thanks also for those who read my work but did not have time to review! I love you too! ; )


	5. Secret Revealed

AN: Thank you to all who reviewed, Kitty, Linmenel, Aurora Cyclone, and rettaw. This chapter is more of the leading up to the next chapter and so was the last chapter.

And by the way, when the story was seen from Er-Galadh point of view, Firiel is male because that's the way Er-Galadh saw her.

Chapter 5: Secret Revealed

Er-Galadh walked alongside the robed figure. The hood was still cast upon his head, blocking all the light that could penetrate through, concealing its face. Er-Galadh looked at it impatiently. //What is it that he does not want to show us?// he wondered. After many days travelling with him, the apprentice of Radagast has never once showed its face, or gives them his name for that matter. Nothing was known to the elves save for the knowledge that he was the apprentice of Radagast and that he was there to asked for the help from the elves.

Legolas had let him travelled with them out of courtesy, Er-Galadh noted. Truly there was little that he could say to argue the presence of the hooded figure for he had proved to be no burden at all. Despite of his robe, the figure had no problem travelling in a forest. //He was accustomed to this,// Er-Galadh thought as he saw the figure threading along beside him, almost invisible it seemed for he had, as usual walked in darkest part possible.

The figure travelled easily and even better than some of the elves. And yet those that were sent are amongst the best in the forest of Mirkwood. Despite that, Er-Galadh had never saw the knowledge that he has, a few days ago, claimed to be his. The skill was after all, had not yet been needed. Danger had not touched them yet and as the days went by, the distrust that he had towards the figure slowly diminished.

Truly, the elves had sometimes entirely forgotten about Firiel. But she was there all the time, like a shadow. And like the shadow, the elves had ignored her presence. All but one, the one who had always looked at her every possible moment on the journey and she resented it. The way he looked at her was irritating, not to mentioned very disturbing. How could she concentrate on the task ahead if she was constantly watched? Yet to them she didn't show any emotion. She had hardly talked, finding that there was nothing worth such effort. 

So it was a pleasant change to her when she found herself one morning out of the elf attention. She was no longer constantly watched and she exulted in this. It was after all what she had been looking for. As the day grew though, she found that her concentration was lacking even more than when she was being watched. Somehow, being watched mean that she was still a part of this quest. She detested the situation that she was in. Even more, she loathed Er-Galadh for it. 

A sudden sound woke her from her thought. The sound came so close and it sent shivers down her spine. The sound that she had come so familiar with. It was sounds of broken twigs and the rustles of leaves and yet elves did not make any sound. She heard the sound more closely. It was not the sound of any beast she knew, the sound was that of orc. Many orcs. They were close and fast too judging from the sounds that they made.

She looked around in panic, blood pounded in her ears. She cursed inwardly and found the darkest part of the wood. There was not enough time to climb any tree, not in this situation. In this darkness she could hide her identity with ease and most importantly, she could see other without being seen. And therefore, gave her advantage over them.

Being in the darkness, she pulled herself together and looked at the predicament she was in. The elves were nowhere to be seen. It was most likely that they have already known of the coming of the orcs and flee. She wondered for once whether any of them remembered of her. She laughed almost as soon as the thought entered her mind. What was she? A fool?

Yes, she was a fool to even think of the elves. There was nothing to aided her but time. Time was the only thing that separated her from the band of orcs. Soon enough they would find her. The shadow could not prevent them from finding her and realising so, she gripped her staff, ready for the first assault from them.

Firiel saw the orcs getting closer towards her hiding. The orcs must have heard her breathing yet she didn't do as much as shuffled her feet. She just stood there as though she was paralysed by her fear, waiting for the first orc to attack her and ends her life.

The thought tempted her. How much she wanted to leave Middle-earth. And perhaps also meet her mother that she had never known. The thought captured her for a while but it was enough to stopped her from realising that an orc had found her. 

It gestured the rest to come before silently creeping closer to the unmoving figure. Seeing that it would not attacked, it leaped forward, the blade from the sword glistened, reflecting the gleam from its yellow eyes.

Firiel saw the gleam from the corner of her eyes. She moved sideway as the sword came down. She was quick enough to prevent the sword from hacking through her head, but not quick enough to deflect its impact. Pain surged through her as the sword cut open the skin on her face yet she heed it not. The spell was on her mind and she raised her energy, combining it with the powers from nature that surrounded her. She could felt the energy built up until it reached its peak before releasing it. The magic flowed through her body and rushed out to hit the orc that stood in front of her with the sword above his head, ready to make another blow. 

Er-Galadh looked down from a tree. He made no noise, waiting for the orcs to leave. The orcs looked around, found nothing and were going to leave in dismay, when one of them headed for the shadow beneath the trees.

His gaze strayed to that single orc, following its movement. For some reason he found himself unable to let go of his gaze. Something was amiss and he could felt it. Something was wrong and yet he didn't know what. Not until the foul creature had entered the darkness that he figured it out.

He jumped down despite the calling from the elves behind him. They did not said it loud as the other orcs were close and stopped when he reached the ground. Yet they did not follow him for the rest of the orcs were leaving still and did not seemed to notice the gesture that one of its member made.

He ran under the shade of the tree, his bow in his hand and an arrow in another. His eyes adjusted to the darkness easily but he blinked nevertheless. What he saw, he could not believed. For one thing, the orc was nowhere to be seen. Nothing save the sword were left in its presence. But this was not the one that surprised him more for the hood that usually covered the mysterious face had fallen and revealed the hidden secret it held. 

Firiel touched her bleeding face and winced. She looked at her bloodstained fingers and groaned before wiping it with her robe. The sword was poisonous and it was proved as she took the sword and examined it. She heard a gasp from in front of her, looking up she saw Er-Galadh staring at her.

She glared at him. From all elves it was him that came and at a very wrong time it was too. Still, she noticed the confused look on his eyes and realised that she had her peripheral vision. Her hood was cast back, most probably when she was avoiding the blow. And worse, she saw the rest of the elves climbing down from the trees nearby. A question was on her mind though but for now she must content with what she knew. 

Er-Galadh walked closer, still unable to believe his eyes. A lady was amongst them all this time, knowing about what danger that would befall her in this dark place yet she still go nonetheless. He saw her face for a split second before the lady cast her hood back up again. She must have noticed that it was down. She must have known that her identity was not a secret anymore. Not to him in any case.

She past him briskly and whispered in his ear. A quick note stating that what was his should be kept so. He turned in confusion, still could not comprehend the truth. A question was on his lip but it soon died as he realise that the elves had came down from the trees. Whoever she was, he must know of her true identity and revealing her secret would do none for his gain and so he bargained with time.

I know it's a bit quick but I'm not good with keeping a secret and making a story out of it. Sorry…but I'm intending on using Firiel to tell this story and in order to do that, I have to let you guys her past…

Clue: It's pretty similar with yours, Linmenel, except… Oh, you just have to wait now. 


	6. Clarity Of Mind

AN: As always…thanks to all who reviewed through ff.net or not. : ) You guys always made my day. Thanks for all the support. 

I got way too many time on hand so it's two chapter at a time. More on Firiel. I think Alfirin gonna come later. A little hint, do NOT attach yourself to Alfirin. She's a dangerous character. Her destiny has not yet revealed to me…anything could happen to her.

So… here goes nothing…I don't feel good about this…Anyway, read and enjoy (hopefully). *Run to the wardrobe*

Chapter 6: Clarity Of Mind

Firiel walked still in the darkness, her hand lingered ever towards her face. The wound stung horribly and yet there was nothing she could do to lessen the pain. The blood dripped slowly from her face and she knew that should they walked any longer, she would faint. Even then, she could not saw her way clearly. She stumbled every now and again and Er-Galadh easily spotted this.

He came over to help her but she shoved away his hand as soon as it touched her shoulder and glared at him. Thinking that it was probably best to leave her to her own accord, he walked away disapprovingly. 

Firiel watched as Er-Galadh leaved her. She sighed, thinking about her stupidity earlier on the day and wondered over her circumstances. The thought only served to irritate her of her own weaknesses. And of the stupidity of the elf in front of her. But she felt grateful in spite of everything and a smile came to her face. At least now she knew that someone cared.

The thought struck her hard. Since when did she begged for attention? Did she not wish so hard to be left alone? Still, these were not the main cause of her fury. After all these years and she still could not let it go. Still could not forget and move on. The memory stayed as though it was bored through her mind, never to be forgotten even though the only thing to reminded her of it was long gone. 

She focussed her thought towards the battle ahead of them and of her master, Radagast. However, it soon lead to the young elf-maid Alfirin and of the promised she made to her, who eventually led to her uncle, Er-Galadh. She shook her head vigorously. It was obviously the wrong thing to do for her head pounded harder than ever and she was forced to stop walking. Holding on to a tree, she strived to regain her balance while sorting out her vision and her chaotic mind. 

It was with great delight that she greeted the calling of their stop for the night.

She slumped back to the nearest tree nearby, not caring where she was. Her eyelids dropping heavily. She wanted to sleep. To let go of the pain that throbbed in her head and in her heart. To let go of the care in this world. This world that had evolved only to became worse with every passing age. So easy, so tempting, so wonderful. And she was lulled right into it as she slowly closed her eyes to, perhaps, never be open again…

A hand shook her shoulder hard. So hard it woke her up before she even reached her peace. She closed her eyes still, hoping that the intruder would simply leave her in her solitude. But the shaking did not stopped, if any, it increased. She opened her eyes in irritation as she slowly adjusted it to see her surrounding.

"You!" she hissed angrily. Not caring to even changed her voice, "Leave me be!"

"No," Er-Galadh replied calmly. Very calm compared to his chaotic mind and even more, his heart. "There are many matters to be discussed amongst us. And you should not sleep in any case. Your wound is bad enough to kill you should you leave it unattended." He looked at her bloodstained robe. It was hard to tell as it was too dark to make a difference between the black colour of her robe and her drying blood. Carefully he reached for her hood, trying to cast it aside so he could look at the wound more easily.

Firiel tried to strike his hand away, but the poison had done it work, leaving her no strength to even straighten her back and her hand hung limply on her side. She knew that he would never leave her be and so she said, "Not here. No one else should know."

Er-Galadh frowned and nodded shortly. He looked around for a sign that any elf was around before lifting the frail figure and carried her away from the rest of the companies.

Firiel glared at the attempt yet there was nothing she could possibly do. Er-Galadh saw her disapproval and said, "Trust me. I intend you no harm. What harm could I possibly do with the other elves nearby?" The statement calmed Firiel and she did not object as Er-Galadh laid her gently down against a tree and cast away her hood. 

He was about to rip a part of his cloak when Firiel stopped him and saying that she had a clean cloth in one of her pouches. She regained her strength and, despite Er-Galadh offer to take it instead, took out two small bags. 

He took out the clean cloth from one of it and used the cloth to clean her face gently. She winced at the touch still no sound escaped her lip. 

Er-Galadh took the time to look at her face more clearly. She was of elven blood and it showed clear enough through the refined and prominent structure of her face, yet she was raven-haired and her doe-like eyes were as dark as the starless night sky. It was a void, mirroring her heart and he found himself shivering as he looked at them. Her skin was also not fair but woodland coloured, different from any elves that he had ever encountered before in his life. She was an elf yet somehow, she was not.

Firiel looked at the clean cloth that was now covered in blood. The pain has become dull eventually but she knew that it would only get worse soon. She waited until Er-Galadh cast it away and pointed at the second pouch. She told him to take out the bottles she had inside. They were similar and others would have a hard time differing the content but she knew them well. Well enough for her to simply look, find the little differences between them (a slightly broken top, cracked bottom) and told Er-Galadh which one to use. She took the cast away cloth and gave it to him so he could pour the content into it. He looked at her disparagingly but did what he was bid to do.

Firiel bit her lip, ready for the pain to come as Er-Galadh pressed the blood-soaked cloth into the wound. The pain shot through her and she closed her eyes voluntarily to suppress the pain. She gripped her staff tightly until the knuckles went ghastly white, trying to create more pain to concentrate on instead of those that was created from the wound. It did nothing to help. The pain was beyond her.

Er-Galadh did not let go of the cloth nor lessen the pressure. Firiel had told him that no matter what happened, he should never do so. He saw her pain and it took a great self-restrain to still held the cloth and not let it go. The pain he saw in her inflicted the same pain in his heart. He wondered at this. How could he care so much about this person that he had disliked? Why did he care? 

After the pain has stopped, she told Er-Galadh to put away the cloth, pointed at one of the bottle (the one that slightly dented) and asked Er-Galadh to take out the top.

He did and put it in Firiel's waiting hand. She held it carefully, trying to drink it but her hand shook dangerously and she was forced to stop. Er-Galadh noted this, took the bottle instead and brought it towards her lip. He tipped it slightly and let it go after Firiel had finished the liquid it contained. 

She lied down for a while, waiting for the potion to do its effect. Yet there was still a question nagging in her mind. She thought about it for a while and asked, "Why did you came? The rest of the elves do not care. Why did you help me?"

"I helped perhaps because I am the only person in this company that remembered of your presence. Any other elves would have done the same should they remember. But to tell the truth, I do not care about your existence. I was merely curious and perhaps, I am suspicious," Er-Galadh replied, eyeing the figured in front of him that he had once thought to be someone else, before resumed, "The elves care not about your existence. They let you come as you proved to be no burden at all to the company and could be of great use. They did not seemed to realise that you even exist at all. You preferred to be in the dark more and it is easy to forget that you are amongst us. Indeed, what is it that you are trying to hide from us? Who are you?"

Firiel looked at the elf in front of her, examining his answer and at last, his questions. She sighed and answered, "I tried to hide no secret nor any plan to harm you. If there was anything I tried to hide, it was my identity. I knew, from the moment that I agreed to do this task, that I should never reveal it."

"But why?" Er-Galadh asked.

"Would you let me come should you know that I am who I am? Would you let me come despite the fact that I might not be able to defend myself as effectively as you or any other elves? No," Firiel shook her head, "I could not revealed my identity. If truth be told, it came as a surprise to me that I was chosen in the first place. Truly, the answer is simple, Er-Galadh. The proved was laid in front of us."

The mention of his niece stirred up another question in him. Was there any reason to leave the elves behind? The question intrigued him and he expressed it.

He was given a look of disbelief as the answer but seeing that Er-Galadh truly did not understand the answer, she explained, "You know how stubborn Alfirin truly is. Do you think that she would, beyond doubt, stayed behind? Would she listen to me, above all other? Above you? I certainly doubt it. She will not go back. I thought it was obvious for you."

Er-Galadh pondered over this and admitted that she was right after all. And so, leaving the elves would ensure that Alfirin could not endanger herself by following them. 

Firiel held herself up. The potion has done its job, she noticed, and walked with Er-Galadh towards the elves before they noticed that the two of them were gone. No, she sighed. Before the elves noticed that Er-Galadh was gone. She was the unnoticed member of the company, just like the orc that discovered her presence beneath the shadow only to meet its peril. 

She walked until the elves were in sight and waited until Er-Galadh joined the rest of the elves before sitting herself under the shade of what she recognised as a great oak tree. Realising how weary she felt after the day, she closed her eyes as she listened to the sweet voice in her mind. Her thought drifted away as the song enveloped her, lulling her to sleep.

SDW *wearing her anti-flame suit*: Ok, I'm ready, shoot!


	7. Closed

AN: This chapter is dedicated to Linmenel and Kitty because I can ; P And for those who love Alfirin, there will be more of her here and something is going to happen to her that, hopefully, will make some of you trying to strangled me. Unfortunately, I'm in this side of computer and you're on that side. What can I say? I'm a bit on the sadistic side. What's going to happen? Well, you just got to read to find out.

Chapter 7: Closed

The darkness greeted her as Firiel woke to find another day has begun. The poison has neutralised, she thought as she stood with ease. The only remnant of the incident was a dull throbbing pain on her face. She looked around; making sure that the elves was within her range and started to seek a figure amongst it. She gathered her robe, picked up her staff from the ground before starting another day travelling with the elves. And with each passing day, it brought her closer to her destiny. To Dol Guldur.

She shook as the wind blew; sending chill through her body, forcing her to gathered her robe closer. She had noticed the gradual coldness of the wood, felling it grew around her and she wondered at this. In the distant she could hear an elf talking. It was Legolas, she noticed. She walked swiftly towards Er-Galadh that did not seemed to notice her and heard amidst the talk a word mountain. She let out a gasp as the realisation sunk in. Mountains of Mirkwood were ahead of her. She was unprepared for this. Of all other obstacles that she must face, it was mountains ahead of her.

The gasp betrayed her presence as Er-Galadh turned around to saw the dark shadow behind him. Despite what he knew of her, she was still a shadow. Many part of her was still covered in it. The shadow was a part of her. It mirrored her heart, her soul. She was dark. And he wanted to see more beyond those shadow, the way he had seen beyond the hood. Yet he also realised that her darkness attracted him. She was of the shadow, of the night and it allured him, drawing him slowly into the web it contained within. The web of her past.

He must have looked at her for too long for she asked, "Is there anything you want to say, Er-Galadh?"

Er-Galadh looked at her, doubt stirred in his mind. This was his opportunity. It seemed that knowing her had thrown away any barrier that stood between them. He looked once at Legolas who started to move away with the rest of the elves. He walked along with the elves but close to Firiel before saying, "I wanted to know of who you truly are. You have not answered one of my questions last night. Who are you?"

"I am Firiel, apprentice of Radagast. There is nothing else you should know," she replied before asking, "Are we going to pass through the mountain?"

Er-Galadh looked at her as he noticed a note of fear in her voice. He wondered at this and said, "We will climb it for it is the fastest way to Dol Guldur but I do not think that you should come with us. The journey will be perilous and it seemed that you knew about it. Go back to the kingdom and you will be save. I fear for your safety."

Firiel laughed at the remark and said, "Fear for my safety? Hah! What folly. I knew about the danger of Mirkwood and I accepted the task."

"But you cannot protect yourself, should need arise," he argued.

"Do not underestimate me. I am a mage and therefore I can protect myself and perhaps even others. If not, I would not be here right now."

"You would have died if I do not help you." Er-Galadh still could not accept it.

"But I did not. The poison did not worked straight away. The orc that I faced was but a novice for the poison, should it injured its ally, could easily be removed. I could have tended it myself."

Er-Galadh fell silent. Seeing this, Firiel continued, "I am also a messenger and to end my task is to go back to my master, Radagast. I have a task to be done and I will conclude it. And I asked you not to reveal my identity to anyone. Promise me that for to do otherwise would only worsen the situation."

Er-Galadh walked in silence, contemplating her reply. He shook his head in despair and said, "Very well, I will keep your identity but promise me that you would never stay far away. I do not want to be responsible for your death."

"Fear not. Death will come unaided, even if I stay close with you and the rest of the elves." And with that she looked up to the mountain, looming high above them and wished that she could change the way. But the mountains met her nonetheless. Yet it was not death that she encountered there.

Soon the way got stepper and harder yet the amount of trees stayed constant. This bothers them not as the company climbed the mountain in the same pace. Being elves, they were light-footed and therefore find no problem in travelling through the mountain. They moved swiftly as the need to reached Dol Guldur pressed on to them. 

But Firiel found the route hard and laborious but it was not the terrain that bothered her. Rather, it was the climate and the wind that blew through the trees that proved to be her greatest foe. Her body shook with every blow of wind and breathing was painful as the chill of the mountains greeted her. She was not prepared for this. In her haste, she had forgotten about the Mountains of Mirkwood.

In spite of that, she still did not relinquish her task. Her spirit was low but it was not defeated yet. She thought for a while, trying to find a way to overcome this predicament. The main problem was the weather and the solution for that was to wear more raiment. That was one of the solutions, yes, but there must be another way out. She looked at the horizon and wished that the mountain were not there. Wished that the terrain would soon come to pass. 

Suddenly she gasped. She found the answer to her problem. Smiling secretly, she slowed her pace until she could stop without being noticed by Er-Galadh, or any elves that might be nearby, and watched until the elves were far away from her sight. 

Summoning her power, she recited the old, ancient words, lost beyond the reach of mortal mind. Patiently, she watched as her body transformed slowly into a back bird and exulted as the magic enveloped her body, burning with unnatural heat. Heat that fed on her energy, draining it gradually. Nevertheless, it gave what she yearned for. It gave her warmth, enough to overcame the chill of the mountain though she knew the pall that would cost her should she abused it.

Quietly, she flew above the elves, keeping up with them with ease while watching for any foe ahead. The flight was fine with nothing within her sight when suddenly, the sky trembled in rage as the thunder shook the sky and lightning struck. Firiel flew closer to the elves, under the trees. Storm was approaching and it was not wise to fly high above the ground. 

Fortunately, a cave was before them and they soon found shelter beneath it. Firiel shifted back into her true form. Her energy, she sensed was declining faster than what she had expected. Perhaps because of the last night incident, she thought as the chill enclosed her once more. And so, grudgingly, she walked towards the elves who were trying to create fire. A seemingly hopeless task, but it was done nonetheless for the elves inherited magic inside of them and it was only a matter of time before the fire shoot out from the wet branches. 

Er-Galadh watched Firiel as she sat close to the fire. The light from the fire illuminated those around her but none touched even the point of her robe. The light ended before her and it looked as though the darkness followed her no matter where she went. He could saw her shivered ever so slightly even though the fire was close to her and he knew the cause immediately. She had used her magic, for what he could not tell, but he knew that she had used more than what she was meant to.

Suddenly he averted his gaze. He loathed himself for being so overtly concerned. He was worried when he could not see her along the way and thought that something might had happened to her. Yet he did naught, feeling that her well-being was not of his concern. His first priority was, after all, to the conflict ahead of him but his heart was in turmoil nevertheless. 

Perhaps because he, as what he said, fear for her safety. She could defend herself and he had seen this when she had defeated the orc still he was worried nevertheless. And something about her rekindled his memory. She was familiar to him though he could not understand how or why. 

The elves turned towards her immediately as she sat. Her presence came as a surprise to all the elves who were accustomed with her being but a mere shadow that followed them wherever they went. Her usual place beneath the darkness was a preferable situation and the elves subconsciously shifted away. She sighed but did not move. Not even when the elves had retreated to sleep save one who was to guard for the night, for she needed the warmth from the fire. Indeed she fell asleep without even realising it, still sitting in front of the dying embers.

Er-Galadh looked at the silent figure and was about to take his place to guard when he realised that Firiel was asleep, shivering from the chill of the wind. He smiled as he realised how much she reminded him of Alfirin and walked quietly so not to wake her up. He wound his arm around her, ready to pick her up and lay her on the side of the cave where the wind could not come. 

The pained expression on her face changes as his body closed to hers, leaving a calm and peaceful appearance. A smile even adorned her face. A pure smile, something that Er-Galadh never saw from her for her smile was always those of mockery, of others but mostly of herself. He sighed as he remembered how Alfirin would have done the same. The only differences would be that Alfirin always mistaken his presence as that of her father.

A wind blew again but Firiel did not shivered. Amongst them Er-Galadh could hear, a sound calling softly as soft as the wind. And he saw her lip moved, slightly, sounding a silent word in his mind, "Father."

*****

Alfirin looked around. The day was nearly ending and the darkness that surrounded her thickened with every passing hour. She tried desperately to find any footprint from the elf but deep down inside, she knew that it was an impossible task. She was not skilled in hunting, let alone tracking an elf. She lost the elf soon enough for he travelled swiftly, faster than any other elves she had encountered in her life, save perhaps, her father and Er-Galadh. 

She gave up. She could never find him and losing her hope, she decided to travelled back to the kingdom. And that's when she realised that she did not know which way back. She did not know where she was. She was lost. She did not watched her way, relying totally on her instinct on which way to go with a folly wish that she would found a footprint, sign, anything that would tell her the way to the elf. But now, she was utterly and completely lost.

Even as she thought so, thunder roar and lightning struck the earth, fore-telling the coming storm. Alfirin screamed out in surprise as a lightning struck a tree next to her, sending it falling towards the young elf. Yet she just stood there, numb and paralysed in fear. Her thought was jumbled, she could not understood anything that was happening. 

All she could remembered thinking was to run away, but her legs seemed to have abandoned its use all together and refused to do her command. She simply watched, helpless, waiting for the tree to hit her with its monstrous might.

And all she could remembered was a sensation of being slammed down before everything turned painfully black.

Guys, I really need a name for the elf, so I don't have to call him…the elf! But I'm a complete idiot with making up names, so if anyone has any idea, could you plz tell me. I'm, as you can see, desperate…plz? Thank you. 

Ok, it took 7 chapters, but…there you go. Way faster than any of my other stories. Hope you enjoyed it. I know it's really crap (this is not a self battering. My friend actually said so.) Flame me if you must but plz be polite about it. Many, many helpful criticism is very appreciated.


	8. Web Of The Past

AN: Thanks for everyone who reviewed…I think I'll be kind to you all who'd been waiting for this one to come. Yes, it's a romance coming up, but nothing on Alfirin yet. I think I'm gonna make you wait longer for that one. Redefined the cliff-hanger a bit, you know, not knowing what happen straight away. ; ) Well, read and enjoy…

Chapter 8: Web Of The Past

Er-Galadh looked at her and many thoughts entered his mind. Many doubts and many unanswered questions. She was an elf and yet from what he gathered, she came not from any elven kingdom. Her master was Radagast, that was obvious, but apart from that she did not mention other. Yet something was amiss and he could sense it. 

Something of her past has changed her and he could not understand the feeling of longing in his heart. It was as though he knew her. Knew her once upon a time and loved her. But there was only one that he ever loved. She was a mortal and he had left her for a reason he did not has chance to explain. He left her, though his heart will always belongs to her alone. 

He knew her from the war. Her father saved his life during the battle and he had accompanied her ever since. He thought of her as his sister then, but his feeling grew as the years went by. He thought that it was only an affection of a brother but it turned out to be quite different. And although she was a mortal, at times he would picture her as an elf. Perhaps it was a result of his imagination or maybe because he wished her so much to be one. 

He sighed. Firiel had evoked so much past, so much memories. And so, remembering of his first intention, he picked her up.

He had not even walk a pace, when Firiel woke up. Er-Galadh saw something coming towards his head from the corner of his mind and called out her name. The staff stopped in mid air, just an inch from hitting his head. Just a few more second and he would be a dead elf but it seemed that he would become one nonetheless should they were alone, judging from the way she looked at him.

He put her down, trying nothing more than to keep his life intact and said, "I am sorry. I did not intent you any harm."

"Why did you do that then?" Firiel looked at him accusingly, boring through his eyes to his soul.

"I was going to put you away in a place where the wind could not come, or at least less than where you were before." He replied, pointing at the spot next to the remnant of the fire. 

Firiel said nothing more and simply looked at his eyes but the wind blew, making her shivered involuntarily. Er-Galadh remembered at the pained expression on her face, offered her some wine. "Here. It should keep you warm."

Firiel saw the phial and looked at him in disbelief. "I'm sorry but I cannot drink this."

"Drink some so at least you will be warm," Er-Galadh argued. Firiel put the mouth of the phial to her lip and put it down. Now it was Er-Galadh that looked at her in disbelief. "That is barely enough to wet your lip."

"I dare not drink anymore," Firiel replied and started to walked away but Er-Galadh pulled her close and turned her around.

"You cannot survive this mountain. How long can you stay in this condition? Go back to the kingdom, Firiel. How important does this task that you would risk your life for?"

Firiel looked straight into his eyes and said, "My life, what does it worth, Er-Galadh? Compared to the outcome of this battle, it worth nothing. I do not wish to save Middle-earth or any other noble cause that you may think. Indeed, I hold little love for any race in Middle-earth to concern myself with their salvation. It is my revenge, Er-Galadh, my only chance. I have waited for too long for this opportunity to let it go now." Her words was as cold as ice and her face was a mask, covering any emotion it hide inside. She said it with such calmness that it shook Er-Galadh deep to his inner core more than what anything else could possibly do.

"I don't understand," he said, not wanting to belief that this was the same person that he had thought before. "Why?"

"I don't ask you to understand," Firiel replied coolly.

She was starting to walked away when Er-Galadh asked, "Is it about your father?"

The question seemed to caught her attention for she turned around immediately and asked, "What is it that you know of him?"

Er-Galadh was surprised at her reaction but from what he gathered, he could made up the reason. "You were calling him in your sleep. Did Sauron…?" 

"My father died in the war of the Last Alliance," Firiel interrupted. "I vowed that I will avenge his death."

"Yet he might not die in the hand of Sauron."

"I promised him that I would fulfil his wish. His last wish was that if Sauron win, if he failed…" Her voice trailed off, unable to finished the sentence without showing her feeling. After she composed herself, she continued, "I promised to end this war. This evil has caused too much sufferings." As she said so, he could see compassion and love in her usually cold, void eyes. Despite of what she told him earlier, she still care.

Er-Galadh, wanting to speak more with her asked, "Who was your father? I also fought in the war. Perhaps I knew him."

"Perhaps indeed. He was a knight of Gondor, a mortal. He lost his life saving the life of an elf and he, the elf, came back, bringing the news." Er-Galadh gasped as she said these but Firiel, lost in her own mind, did not hear and continued, "He then took care of me. I cannot remember his name now for it was so long ago but still I can remember him well. He was like a brother to me and I love him. Love him more than a brother but he didn't for…"

"I left, without a note, nothing. Leaving a question unanswered between us," Er-Galadh finished, looking at Firiel in astonishment. Firiel looked back at him and, although no other words passed between them, the eyes knew. They understood.

"Er-Galadh?" Firiel looked at him, unable to string words together. She fell into silence, remembering her past, their past. Tears filled her eyes when she remembered at how she had treated him the last few day out of her fear and this brought another realisation to her mind and her soul recoiled in fear again. Fear for losing the one person she loved. After all this time, was she to find him just to lose him again.

Er-Galadh looked at the elf in front of him. She had changed, he thought, physically and mentally. And as he thought of this, he wondered at what had befell her. "You have changed so much I cannot recognise you anymore," he said, affirming his thought.

"So have you," Firiel replied and warmth slipped to her voice. The warmth that Er-Galadh has not heard since he left Gondor thousand of years ago. "The past was not kind to you." The tone of worry was in her voice as she gazed deep into his eyes, looking at the sorrows that was contained within.

"The past was not kind to both of us," Er-Galadh said, recognising her again as though the past few days had never happened. From the day they met until now. Taking her face in the palm of his hand, he caressed it softly and said, "I believe I owe you an explanation. I has to leave as my father was wedded and I was to stay for a while. I was intending to come back as soon as possible but darkness fell upon Mirkwood and I was needed. I never came back for I thought you were a mortal and therefore are beyond my reach. I could only hope that you had a wonderful life." I'm sorry." 

Firiel placed a finger on his lip, stopping his sentence. "You owe me no explanation or apology," she whispered before breaking from his embrace. "It is I who owe you them."

"You owe me nothing, Firiel." Er-Galadh walked closer to her, knowing that she could not stand the cold but Firiel walked back.

"Yes I do, Er-Galadh. I understand if you will never want to see me again after this but you must know. I…" Firiel took a deep breath, trying to summon a courage that she hope she had and said, "I'm not pure anymore." She closed her eyes as a tear threatened to drop. When she opened her eyes, Er-Galadh was standing right in front of her and she closed her eyes again, ready for any assault that he may intend to inflict upon her. 

The attack never come and instead, he held her shoulder gently and asked, "Tell me what happen."

Firiel looked at him fearfully. She did not know where to start. The words that came out from her mouth was a broken sentence, leaving scattered clues for Er-Galadh yet he heard it nonetheless. "I was drunk…I never knew…He seemed to be nice and I thought he would do no harm…I couldn't run away." Tears streaming down her eyes as she said these. The scene was played over and over in her mind.

Er-Galadh trying to calmed her and told her to start again slowly and she did though it was painfully slow. "I was inside an inn, eating when a person sat in front of me. The inn was full and there was no other place and so I let him. He was very nice the whole time and I started talking to him. He also offered me to drink though he did not drink himself. He kept on talking until I could not understand anything that he said then he brought me up into one of the room, telling me to get some rest and he will pay for it. Or at least that was what I thought he said. And I did, knowing nothing about his intention. I was asleep when I heard a noise and when I woke up, I saw him. He…He was…" Firiel buried her face in her hands, shutting all the light, trying not to remember what happened next. 

Er-Galadh was enraged, unable to say anything and instead, held her close, trying to ease her pain. Firiel flinched but she did not break away. And when he spoke, his voice was calm and controlled, covering all the turmoil he had inside. "Firiel, is that the reason why you isolate yourself from the elves, from me? Why you stubbornly refused the wine? And why you were going to kill me if you could when I held you then?" 

Firiel shook in silent sob, nodding slowly. "I shouldn't have leave. I could have spared you all the pains," Er-Galadh whispered, his voice was husky.

He expected another emotional outburst but to his surprise she turned around to face him, her eyes were wet with tears yet her voice was calm when she said, "You were meant to leave. The kingdom needed you and so was Alfirin. And there is no point in regretting the past again for there is nothing we can do within our power to changed it. I tried to forget about it Er-Galadh but I think you should know. I feared that I cannot trust anyone anymore."

Er-Galadh cupped her chin and lean it slightly so that her eyes met his before saying, "Will you trust me, Firiel? Will you love me again?"

"Love is but a gamble," Firiel replied. "I have lost so much, I fear I do not have much left. If I stake all of it, will I win?"

Er-Galadh gazed deep into her eyes and said, "I don't know but I'm willing to risk what I have with you." And with that, he placed his lip on hers in a soft kiss. Their very first kiss. Her kiss was so demure, so submissive and he kissed her tenderly, as though she was made of porcelain, delicate and fragile. 

And as they kissed, his light enveloped her, the way no other can. It parted the veil of darkness, revealing the secret it held inside. The storm stopped, letting the sun rays through the foliage, promising a beautiful day ahead.

I got a little confession to make, I've never kissed anyone before in my life, so plz pardon me if the story is a bit unrealistic on that point. I tried to do it as real as I can, but there's always a mistake in writing. So any criticism will be greatly appreciated. Even a polite flame will be fine. As long as it's polite though…


	9. When Fate Played A Part

AN: Thanks heaps for everyone who reviewed my story especially Linmenel for the name of the elf J (isn't that pic cute?) I just figured it out then… I'm slow, I know.

Chapter 9: When Fate Played A Part

Alfirin opened her eyes slowly, adjusting it to the light. The rain was beating hard on her face as she looked at her surrounding. She could not remembered of what had happened, but whatever it was, she was saved beyond hope. 

In front of her laid a huge tree. The tree that she remembered should have ended her short, miserable life. The tree lie so close to her that her feet could touch them. She wondered at who had saved her life. Who or what for she could not recall anyone that was near the vicinity when the thunder struck. But then again, she was not concentrating on her surrounding before.

Her eyes swept around, trying to find someone or something to show her the way home. She had too much a sign to show her that what she tried to do was a hopeless cause. But the only person that she found was unconscious, lying very close to her, his face buried in the pool of mud beneath him. "Nardin!" She choked as she recognised the elf and ran towards him straight away, all pain forgotten. The only thing that's in her mind was a wish that he was still beyond her help.

She dragged him to the tree nearby, laying him underneath the shade. She cleaned his face that was still covered in mud. Fortunately, water was not difficult to find and she was grateful at the thought for she could not recall any body of water nearby. Making sure that he could breath without the mud to stifled him, she started to search for a pulse. She held his hand first, but nothing was visible. Not a sign, nothing. Perhaps she was too late. Perhaps he was already far beyond her reach. No, she pressed the thought away. There has to be a way for her to help. Has to be. 

He had saved her life, that much was obvious for her. He must have pushed her out of the way when she was paralysed in fear. She could not lose him. Not after what he had done to her. She placed her hand on his blood-soaked chest, hoping beyond hope that there is still a possibility that he could still be helped. She waited, feeling with all her might for a pulse, but nothing was there. The blood still flowed, increasing her fear. She pushed harder in desperation and suddenly she felt a pulse, ever so faintly, but it was there nonetheless. 

She cried in triumph and suddenly felt the need to cry, but she stopped it realising that the danger was still too near to be ignored. She looked at the wound in his chest and wondered at what had befell him. She could not bring to mind anything that might cause the wound. He did not seemed to have hit anything nor was there any rock sharp enough to cause such injury. Still, she could not tell how deep the wound was for it was hard to tell beneath his clothes. She took of his top, cleaned and examined the wound closely. No, it was not made by any natural cause that she could think of. 

Finding no reason, she felt that it would be save to simply tend the wound. She looked around. The storm was still raging on, making it hard to find any herb, if there was any nearby. She looked out at the storm and her heart recoiled in fear but a glance at the unconscious elf and she made up her mind. She had to at least stopped the bleeding of the wound if he was to survive. The thought frightened her and, taking no notice about the storm, she walked out from the shade of the tree and started her search for the herbs.

Alfirin returned a few moments later carrying the all the herbs that she needed. Her body was soaked wet and she shivered convulsively but she heed not the coldness of her own body as she ensure that the pulse was still presence in his body. She then prepared the herb, putting it in her mouth and chewed them, mixing it with her saliva. And when she felt that it has joined together well, she spit it out to the wound before applying it thoroughly. She made sure that the wound was covered in the mixture before lying herself down next to him. She closed the wound with his clothes, after washing it with the rain water and squeezed it dry, and held it in place. 

Her head throbbed painfully but she kept on waiting for Nardin to wake from his unconscious state. The wound had stopped bleeding but she did not rest fearing that it might be poisoned and would worsen his condition. She check his pulse every now and then, hoping against all hope that he could still survive. She did not know how long the injury has been and was worried that the loss of blood was too much to be healed. 

The storm raged on but the pulse stayed steady and at last, having no strength left in her body, she rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

She woke up in the morning with a start. The storm has stopped but Nardin was not beside her. Where is he? She asked herself and it was answered by a greeting. "Alfirin, I was so worried about you. Are you alright? Why didn't you go back to the kingdom?"

"I…I thought," She tried to explained but her voice trailed off as she realised that her reason were not valid enough. She looked down, unable to answer the question. 

She was ready for his disapproval but instead he simply said, "I suppose I cannot blame you myself for you have saved my life."

"No," Alfirin responded, "you saved my life. I was merely paying back your deed."

"Yet without you, I would have died nonetheless. Perhaps there is a reason why you should come after all. I cannot say anything against your decision. Alas it seemed that my understanding came late for I could not find the rest of the elves and am on my way back to the kingdom. It will be best for you to come back with me for, I believe, you cannot find them also." 

"Very well," Alfirin said. She was going to come back after all and so she did not argued. She tried to stood up and that was when she realised that she was covered in his clothes. She looked at him, horrified, and said, "Why did you let the wound open?"

Nardin turned around and Alfirin saw the wound, red against the fair skin of the elf. The wound did not looked very threatening now. He smiled and said, "You needed it more than me. In any case, the wound has stopped bleeding and you were shivering."

"What caused the wound?" Alfirin asked.

"Orc's sword," the elf answered nonchalantly as though it was nothing. Indeed for the elves that resided in Mirkwood, encounter with orcs were not an unusual circumstances. "I was unprepared. The orcs found me and I was forced to flee for they were of a great number, but I presume I lost them. That was when I found you."

She took off his top and handed them back to him. "I suppose I don't need them anymore." Nardin glanced at her soaked clothes but, knowing her, he did not objected and wore them. He helped her stood up and started to walked back towards the kingdom. 

They had not travelled far when they both noticed a footsteps from a distance. Hiding in the nearest tree, they waited in silence for the orcs to pass. They were of a great number and it was obvious that they could not fight them. The orcs came slowly marching. One by one they passed the tree in which the two of them hide. One by one, they ignored them. Alfirin sighed as she heard the last orc went pass the tree. Unfortunately, the last orc heard her sigh and turned around. 

It spoke in its guttural language and immediately the rest of the orcs halted and walked back to where the orc stood. They started to spread out, looking around for the source of the sound. 

An orc walked pass the tree where the two hide. It walked right beside Alfirin and she held her breath in fear of being discovered but the orc turned around nonetheless and saw Alfirin. Its eyes glinted dangerously but before it could do anything else, an arrow went straight through his head, between its eyes. Alfirin gasped as the orc fell backward. She heard the rest of the orcs running towards them and felt a hand pulling her away. 

"Run!" 


	10. Back

AN: Thank you all who read and/or reviews this story. This chapter is dedicated to all of you, my friends. I *might* change the title of the story to Fallen by the next chapter. But it's still a maybe…

Hmm…A little note to those who are interested; the fighting scene will use European/Asian fighting style just because I've read an article somewhere about the movie LoTR that Legolas fight with that kind of style. Well, that's what I think I've read anyway.

And I hope that the fighting is good enough. Not much yet, but I hope to put more in the next few chapter.

Chapter 10: Back

Alfirin ran as fast as possible. Nardin was slightly ahead of her. She had a feeling that he could have run faster and would have done so should she was not with him but her presence slowed him down. The orcs were closely behind and she knew that she could not outrun them. She was not used to this circumstance, being nowhere but in the save perimeter of the kingdom, and realise the true danger of the place in which she resided. 

It seemed that Nardin also knew of this fact for he stopped and turned around. She nearly crashed into him but she halted just in time. He looked back, past her, warily and seized one of the long knife placed on his back. He stared at her hard and said, "Alfirin, you know as well as I do that we cannot possibly outrun them. Take this so that should they find you, you will be able to protect yourself."

Alfirin gaze at the long blade and nodded. She knew little on how to use them, but it was sufficient nonetheless. Er-Galadh had once taught her how to use it and she gripped the weapon before her hard before she started to run again. The knife was her only salvation then. Nothing else mattered.

Her legs ached painfully. She was not accustomed to all this and wished that she did not have her curiosity that had led her to the strange lady which eventually led her to this moment. Why did she leave the kingdom? Why did she not go back when chance allowed? Why must she be so stubborn? So engrossed was she on blaming herself that she did not realised the pain on her legs. 

She ran and ran, not knowing where she went. Her sense of direction was gone as she depended totally on Nardin. She hoped so hard that they might be able to escape the orcs. However, the time that they had taken to stopped had cost them dearly for the orcs were now very close behind. So close, she could her their hard, harsh breathing as though they were breathing right behind her neck. The sensation sent shivered down her spine and she tried to run faster. 

Alfirin looked back and saw that the orcs had stopped their pursue. They seemed to have given up on their chase. Alfirin sighed. It seemed that they could get away after all. She was about to call out to Nardin when she saw an arrow passing through. It passed Nardin by an inch and realised the threat it present when suddenly pain shot from her leg. 

She stumbled and fell. Looking at her leg, she saw blood dripping slowly around the arrow. She gripped the arrow and yanked it free. Wrong move. Her scream rang amongst the trees. She shut her eyes in pain, tears seeping from the corner of the lid. When she opened her eyes, an orc was in front of her. It snarled and scolded the young elf in its own guttural tongue. Laughing evilly, it raised its sword, ready to execute the pathetic elf below it.

Alfirin glared back. The look of her face was beyond fear. She had given up all her hope, knowing that it was impossible to escape anymore for she had not the strength to run anymore, especially in her condition. She did not close her eyes. If death should come, she would face it just like her father. She confronted the orc confidently with nothing to betray her fears. She would never let it has the pleasure of knowing the terror in her heart. 

The orc lowered its sword. Its eyes gleamed feverishly as the sword strike directly, leaving a bloodied mess behind. Flesh dangled from it, but it was not from the lovely elf that stare dazzled in front of it, but from its own master, lay crumpled on the cold earth. And above it, stood a fair creature, holding the bloodstained sword in its hand. 

"Nardin!" Alfirin cried out in relief as she recognised the person in front of her. It was quite impossible for her to believe what had just happened. She could remember the sword coming towards her but someone must have attacked the orc for its grip lessened. And of what came next made her inside churned. The proof of it was before her. Fortunately, she had nothing inside of her that could be purged but she felt nauseous nonetheless. 

"Come," He offered her his hand. "We cannot flee anymore," he said grimly while looking at her inoperative leg lying limply at her side. "Can you stand?" 

Alfirin looked at the running orcs. They were coming fast. Anger swelled their heart as two of their comrades fell. They must have their revenge, not because of the love they shared each other, but of their pride. What would they become if they let some elves away from their grip, especially when the elves were outnumbered. The shame would be unbearable. Yet it was not just the shame. The pain that their master inflict should he found out would be even more excruciating. 

She turned away. Taking his hand, she held herself up. She glanced up at him. His face an impenetrable mask, but she new the fear in his heart. She was about to tell him to go away, but she had not the opportunity to say anything. The orcs were already before them.

The orcs came, more determined than ever to finish the life of the two elves ahead of them. Alfirin clenched her knife, her other hand let go of Nardin's hand as she limped away from him. She knew that Nardin could not fight while holding her hand and the orc would attack her first, giving Nardin time to run away. It was her fault that Nardin was dragged to this condition and she was resolute to put him away from it. But she was not quick enough. 

Nardin grabbed her arm and held her close, shielding her with his body. His other hand went to his back, retrieving another knife. "I've promised Er-Galadh that I will see you save to the kingdom. I will not fail it."

Alfirin was about to reply, when she felt Nardin moved. A move that indicated that the orcs had arrived. She closed her eyes in fear as she felt something warm splattered behind her neck. Instinctively, she reached out for it and saw fresh blood, red against her pale fingers. 

She muffled her cry as she saw an orc creeping up behind Nardin. She saw the orc as it raised its arm, ready to injured the fair elf before it when Alfirin broke free of his embrace. The orc was so close, close enough for her to kill. Yes, the word kill was in her mind as she slipped beneath its raised arm and stabbed it in its heart. The knife embedded itself but not strong enough to penetrate the body armour that it wore.

Instead, it awakened the orc awareness of the seemingly frail elf-maiden. It glared at her viciously and raised its sword again. Alfirin was once again frozen in fear. The intensity of the war was beyond her experience. 

The orc was about to end her life but a clash of sword nearby woke her from her paralyse as the orc brought its sword down. She raised her own knife above her head as she turned around. However this time, she made no attempt to reach its body, instead she aimed for the wrist that handled the sword. Her knife sliced the delicate skin beneath the palm that held a sword, forcing it to screamed in agony as the orc dropped the weapon it carried.

She took the opportunity to reached the disarmed orc, held it close, before moving her knife across its neck. Blood spluttered everywhere as the orc dropped dead in front of her. Her leg ached as the move took its price. She dropped to the ground, unable to move anymore. Tears fell from her eyes as she realised what she had done. Suddenly, she felt a hand reaching out for her. She forced her body to turn around using her uninjured leg, ready to attack but it was not an orc that confronted her.

She immediately recognised the elf before her. Looking around, she saw raining arrows fell at the remaining orcs. She watched as the orcs flee and saw elves descended from the trees that surrounded them. They must have run inside the perimeter of the kingdom. She cried in relief as the knowledge sunk in and, ensured that they were safe, she let the weariness invaded her as she let herself fell into oblivion. 


	11. Many Thoughts

Chapter 11: Many Thoughts

Firiel withdrew slowly from the kiss, unwilling to end it. A smile was on Er-Galadh's face, mirroring her own. She could felt the emotions, the love, that encased them. It was held down for too long, abandoned as though it has never existed. Held down from the fear of knowing that should they let it surface, the truth would tortured them slowly until death would be preferable for both of them feared that their other half could never be recovered. Lost forever save in their memories. Their meeting has destroyed the force that held it down, the fears, and it showed in their eyes as they embraced each other.

But it did not last for long as she heard a sound coming from where the elves slept. She looked at the shadow beyond Er-Galadh and saw that an elf had wakened up. How long has he been standing there? Did he saw everything? All these questions invaded her mind. None could be answered yet horror still crept inside her heart as she realised that her hood was cast down. 

Er-Galadh also heard the sound and he turned around to see Legolas standing with a bemused expression in his face. He, however, composed himself instantaneously. His voice was calm and collected when he asked, "Who is she Er-Galadh?"

Firiel gazed at the young prince, uncertain whether she should tell him anything. She saw the same expression in Er-Galadh's face. Realising that there was nothing much she could do, she decided to tell at least part of the truth. "I am the apprentice of Radagast."

Legolas stare at Firiel with a look of criticism on his face. "It seemed that Er-Galadh also know of your identity."

Firiel laughed. "He knew nothing about me until tonight." She did not lie, it was partly true.

However, Legolas was not convinced. "He seemed to know you more than that judging from how close you two were." There was an edge in his voice. Firiel blushed as she realised the meaning behind those words yet she knew also that his trust did not come easily.

"I knew her long time ago, my lord," Er-Galadh interrupted before Firiel could say anything back. Firiel looked at him, puzzled. What was he trying to do? "But of her identity I know naught of until tonight for she had keep a secret of it. Nonetheless, we both know of her now, and I believe that she would be able to continue with our company."

"I'm afraid that I cannot let her come, Er-Galadh," Legolas said. "The journey will be too dangerous for her."

Er-Galadh was about to protest but Firiel interrupted. "Very well, my lord. If it is indeed your wish then I will accept it." Er-Galadh looked at her, confused, but she did not look back at him. Instead she looked away, as though avoiding his gaze. 

He knew that there was something on her mind and he decided to find out. "My lord, I wish to guide her back to the kingdom for as you know the journey is perilous and I am afraid that she does not know the way"

Legolas looked at him, aghast. "Er-Galadh, we already lost an elf to accompany Alfirin. We cannot afford to lose another. If we truly need to send someone, send another. Your counsel is still very much needed."

Er-Galadh smiled at him reassuringly and said, "I believe that you or the company do not need my counsel anymore, my lord. You have so far made the right decision, I believe that the apprentice of Radagast will need my company more." 

Firiel raised an eyebrow but say nothing against his judgement. It appeared that she did need his guide after all. Legolas glanced at him, still uncertain about his decision, but finding nothing against his decision, he agreed and let the two left as the elves continue with their journey to Dol Guldur.

They watched as the company parted until they were out of their sight. Er-Galadh glanced at Firiel, waiting to start their way to Dol Guldur. Firiel looked back at him and laughed. "Come Er-Galadh, I am sure you are not that naïve. You know, don't you?"

"The fact that you will be going even on your own?" He replied, "Of course, like what I said to Legolas, I will show you the way. Not to the kingdom, for you know the way but to Dol Guldur."

"Nay," Firiel dismiss his suggestion. "I know of the way there. A faster way." Er-Galadh looked at her, surprised and confused. Surely she would come to the kingdom should she ever come to Mirkwood, yet for all his life, he has never seen her before nor heard of the apprentice of Radagast.

Firiel started to walk away and Er-Galadh followed her. Their way was meandering and off the path, he wondered whether she truly knew a faster way. The way was soon got steeper as she had at last chosen an upper path but it was only a while before a huge rock covered their path and on both side, the trees offered no way around. Er-Galadh looked at Firiel, sceptical, but she merely shrugged and said, "It's an enchantment. They hide their secret well." and with that, she put her arm on the top part of the rock, but it did not stopped as it reached the rock, it went straight through it. She smiled as she watched as the spell withered away, revealing a cave behind.

Er-Galadh stared in awe. Never would he think of doing what she did. He followed as she climbed over the bottom part of the rock, the part that is not enchanted, into the cave. Still, a part of him was suspicious. How could she found out about this place? He asked his thought aloud as Firiel replaced the enchantment. 

She did not answered straight away. She hesitated before saying, "I am the apprentice of Radagast. I should know of this place."

The answer was valid enough, yet he was not convinced. "You are hiding something from me, Firiel. I thought you trusted me."

"But it is not a reason to pry at every aspects of my life, Er-Galadh," she retorted "If you feel that it is, then don't come at all. I don't need you." Fire burned in her heart but it died away as soon as it came as she realised the poison in her reply. She turned to look at Er-Galadh. He was looking down, hurt by her words. "I'm sorry Er-Galadh." Too late. The words were said, and she could not take it back. "Forgive me, I did not mean it that way, it's just…"

"No. You are right. I should have trusted you myself," Er-Galadh replied.

They resumed their journey in silence. It was uncomfortable and Firiel keep on finding herself looking back at Er-Galadh, full of longing. She did not mean what she said and she regretted having said those words. She knew it was unforgivable. Why did she say those words? But back then; all she wanted to do was to hurt him. Hurt him the way his had hurt her, even though she knew he did not meant them.

The cave went on and on. The way was not narrow. Rather it was large. Large enough to let a whole army through will little or no trouble. Er-Galadh pondered at this. Who are 'they'? Firiel mentioned that 'they' hide their secret well. Who or what was she referring to? Nature? He felt that it was other than nature. Something else. He could fancy feeling that she was getting darker and darker as they journeyed further and further into the cave. But perhaps it was only an effect the light was playing at him. 

Soon, they were shrouded in darkness, until they could no longer know the time. They walked and walked until they knew not how long. All their thought were focussed simply to getting through the cave as fast as possible. The path was straight most of the time, with little turning now and again. Firiel condition worsens, as they got deeper and deeper into the cave. She was shaking convulsively now, yet determined to keep on going. Er-Galadh saw that she could not go on anymore yet he did not dare to stop her. Eventually it was she herself that stopped their pursue.

She looked back at him and asked him whether he would like to stop or continue their journey. Er-Galadh was torn between stopping to conserve their energy or keep on going to get through the coldness of the place as soon as possible but he decided that it would be hopeless to keep on going and not be able to finished their journey in exhaustion, and so they stopped.

They slept apart; their argument was still between them, tearing them apart. Though each had admitted their mistake, they were unsure whether it was forgiven. Firiel slept fitfully, the coldness take its poll on her once again, yet she was too stubborn to have it other way. Er-Galadh decided to let her learn from it but, as he saw her shaking and coughing, he could not let it any longer. He went close to her, making sure that she was asleep and held her in his embrace. He felt the cold body beneath him shivered for a while when suddenly, her hand reached out for him impulsively. He remembered their argument earlier on the day and shook his head in dissent. "You need me, Firiel, as much as I need you."


	12. Too Late, Too Early

AN: A little note: * is for the memory.

Elen means star in elvish. (I'm not so sure whether it's Sindarin or Quenya)

Chapter 12: Too Late, Too Early 

Firiel woke up as she heard a voice calling her in her mind. 

*"Mother. I'm scared, mother. It's so cold here"*

She looked around, confused, though fully aware of a person sleeping next to her. She started to call out to the non-existence person in her mind. "Elen. Elen, where are you?" she whispered, as she fumbled her way around in vain attempt to reach her.

Her movement woke Er-Galadh. He heard her whispering, calling out for a star and he could not help but wondered why. But before he could say anything, her whispering changed into hysteria as she tried to break free from him. "Please let Elen go! Are you so depraved? Let her go, I beg you. She cannot survive the mountain." 

She turned around to look at him. Her eyes pleaded him. They were filled with deep sorrow and a hopeless wish, as though she had said those words over and over again with little or no use. But it only lasted for a while, for she then stared in confusion, not recognising the person in front of her. 

"Firiel?" His word turned into a question, as he was not so sure himself whether it was Firiel in front of him. 

Firiel stared at him, but she recognised him this time. "Er-Galadh." She called out as she encircled her arms around him, clinging desperately to reality. He heard her sobs, muffled by his body and felt the tears seeping through his raiment. He stroked her slowly, trying to calm her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He felt her body stiffened at the mention and he decided to leave it for a while. "You don't have to." He continued soothing her in a routine gesture. Gradually her sobs stopped as she fell once more into a dreamless sleep.

But he could not. He lay awake, unable to put away the memory of what just happened. Who is Elen? He wondered. Elen was obviously a name of a person. Who could it be? There were only two choices. Was she a friend? The other choice he would rather not think about. She could not be her daughter. But the more he thought about it, the more unsure he was of the first option. 

The way Firiel had reacted was somewhat exaggerated for merely a friend. His blood burned as he thought the possibility that she had bore a child from *him*. How could one affair become this complex? How could this happen? He had never thought about it and now it hurt him more to realise that the girl…no, woman that he loved was wronged and there was nothing he could do to prevented it.

He stared down at Firiel beneath him and wondered at how changed she was. The Firiel that he knew, the one that he left was so trusting. Slightly naïve perhaps but she was delicate and more innocent. However she was never truly innocent for she had lived with an assumed knowledge that she was the reason for her mother's death and why her father never could love her fully. This much he knew for she had told him. She used to trusted him completely then. The experience changed her.

She grew. He should have expected that much, yet he found himself unable to let go of the past. How much he wished that she would tell him everything that happened to her. He wanted to help her, comfort her and most of all; he wanted her to trust him again. He knew he shouldn't have left. No matter what she said, he still blamed himself for leaving her without any message. Perhaps that was also why she did not trust him anymore. Could he possibly have hurt her that much?

His thoughts left him dry. He thought and thought until he did not have anything left to think about until, at last, he felt the weariness seeping over his conscious mind as he let himself drifted away.

He woke up after a while. His sleep was uneasy, as the horror from the war has not truly left him. He wondered whether it would completely left him at all. Sometimes during his sleep, he could hear the cry of his comrades again. One stayed clear in his mind. It was his brother's death. The way he died haunted him even until this very moment. It was the most brutal way one could kill another. He shivered impulsively as he remembered the scene in his mind. The person that killed him must have little or no feeling at all. 

He saw Firiel snuggling close in his embrace. Her breathing was regular but he saw that her eyes were open. Firiel never sleep with her eyes open. It was one thing that she took from her father. He smiled and kissed her hair; her fragrance filled his nostril, clouding his mind. Softly, he heard her sighed. "Why are we doing this, Er-Galadh?"

Er-Galadh looked at her, confused. She was staring at the empty air in front of her; the expression on her face was incomprehensible. "I don't understand…"

"Our relationship," she replied bluntly, "Whom are we trying to fool? It will never work out. You know very well that I am the apprentice of Radagast. To him lay my first and foremost loyalty. And to him I will return when my task finished while you'll remain for your loyalty are to this kingdom."

Now it was him that stared at the cave wall, lost in thought. "Will death be preferable then?" he asked. Silent hung between them, not because they were contemplating but because they knew the answer already. And the truth struck them, creating the silent, which was broken by another question. "Is there anything that can prevent this?"

"Only one Er-Galadh, and you know of it, " she replied and laughed a bitter laugh. "Cruel is our fate. Are we to gain only to lose again?"

"There has to be another way."

"If there is any, I cannot see it right now. Perhaps this relationship was never meant to be. Admit it Er-Galadh, you have changed and so have I. our relationship can never be the same again." her voice was strained and his doubts surfaced again. All his thoughts. Is it too late?

"I know of that Firiel. How many times had my mind told me that we have changed. That this relationship will not work yet my heart bids otherwise. I knew that yet I still play the game."

"Yet this game will end soon."

"All must come to an end. So will this and any other relationship. It is inevitable the moment it began. Should you choose to end it now, I will hold no grudge against you."

Firiel looked up at Er-Galadh's expressionless face. A mask hiding all feelings it contained deep inside. How much she wanted to say that she would stay with him forever, forsaking everything she had. That this relationship should not end now or ever. How much she wanted to say that despite of what had happened she still loved him. 

But she kept all her feelings inside for should he know, the truth would kill them, more painful than any weapon could. Her secret was the bone inside the meat, poison inside the honey. She wished that it was never existed. She was too different from him, impure in many ways. Dark secrets were contained within, waiting to surface, destroying everything in its path. He deserved better than her.

She broke away from him. Clutching her staff in her hand, she struggled to stand up. "We better go now. We should be able to reach the other side soon enough." And with that, she left him, walking forward towards the darkness. She embraced it, leaving the light behind, leaving the reality of life.

But the game was not finished. 


	13. More Than Memory

AN: Thank you soooooooooooooooo much for all the reviews. I'm glad you like my story J It kind of look like it's going nowhere. But trust me, they are going somewhere. If only I can get over this stupid mountain first…

Chapter 13: More Than Memory

The journey was made in silence as either one was lost in thoughts. Fíriel never turned her back for she feared that seeing the person she loved, she won't be able to suppress her feeling down. Instead she looked forward, determined to reach the other side before taking any other break.

The cave got darker and darker. So dark that they had to feel their way through. Fíriel fastened her pace, stumbling along, feeling for a torch on the wall. She knew there should be one nearby. Soon her hand found its way. Gripping it, she took it from the wall and chanted soft, spidery words of magic.

Fire burst at the tip of the torch, illuminating the cave. Er-Galadh nearly jumped up in surprise. He did not hear her chanting and he would never thought of finding a torch in the cave. How could she know? The whole cave felt like it was not made by nature. Everything was so perfect. The wall was smooth and so was the way. No animal resided there as it was hidden beyond the enchanted rock. Who built the cave? Why did they made it and for what purpose? To these questions, he knew not the answer but he knew a person who could answer them. 

She was walking in front of him, the torch held high. The light from the fire did nothing to her. She was a black void against the light. Perhaps it was because of her black robe that absorbed all the light. Perhaps it was the emptiness in her heart. The hood was cast over her head, covering all emotions it had inside yet the pain was inconceivable nonetheless.

Her pace slowed down gradually and sometimes, Er-Galadh could see her tears on the floor of the cave. Despite of it, she walked still until each step was a struggle. Fíriel had been here before, Er-Galadh thought. And whatever happened had created horrible memory. Was she here with Elen? Suddenly, his curiosity was impossible to restrain anymore.

"Who is Elen?" he asked carefully, trying not to provoke her further.

"Why does it matter Er-Galadh?" she replied, her voice was husky and it contained deep sorrow.

Er-Galadh hesitated. He did not want to open an old wound, especially because the wound was not fully healed yet. But the wound did not seem to heal. Something was caught inside, causing it to be infected. Sometimes, the only way to heal is to open the wound again and take it out. He sighed; perhaps this was for the best. "You were calling to her, begging me to let her go. Who is she Fíriel? Why do you care so much about her?"

She said naught in reply. What was she supposed to tell? The truth? Could Er-Galadh accept it? Or would he hate her for it? She could not tell the truth. Not now, with their relationship as it was, she could not afford to lose what she had left, if there was anything left.

But Er-Galadh had guessed the answer nonetheless and her silence only reinforced the truth. "By the Valar. Is she your daughter?"

Fíriel recoiled in fear. He knew. So was this the end of everything they had shared together? Was this the end of their relationship?

"Tell me Fíriel. You know you can always trust me."

"It is not your trust that I doubt. It doesn't matter if she is my daughter or not."

"She is your daughter." 

Fíriel turned back. She held his gaze squarely and said, "I have never stated that she is."

"Isn't she?" Er-Galadh asked. He knew he was right. Why then did she hide the truth? Has he ever failed her? Once perhaps but can she not forgive him for it?

She stared down at the floor, trying to escape his gaze. But it was too late. He knew the truth. Perhaps she should tell of the truth. Could he accept it? With a sigh she accepted her defeat, "She was my daughter." 

Er-Galadh gaze at her face with its entire mask down, revealing all the sorrows it concealed for so long. "What happened Firiel?"

"She's gone," Firiel choked in her replied. "She passed away many years ago." She took a deep breath to steady herself. "There is nothing more to tell." And with that she turned around and started to walk again.

Er-Galadh did not moved. He stayed and watched Firiel walked away before letting out a sigh. "Thank you," he whispered.

He did not expect her to hear it but she turned around to his surprise. A confused expression was on her face. "What for?"

A ghost of smile spread on his face as he walked towards her. Placing both his hands on her shoulder gently, he kissed her between the eyes. "For trusting me." 

The rest of the journey was made in silence, yet it was a comfortable silence as some strains between them was lifted. The air of tension that hung between them disappeared and so was the distance between them. It seemed that the reason for it was their previous relationship and the removal of it took also the conflicts between them. 

Their first and very brief stop was initiated by Firiel. She simply stopped, unable to walk any further. Her shoulder shook as she leaned herself against the cave wall. Er-Galadh held her shoulder gently. No tear was shed yet he knew that her heart bled. Such deep was her sorrow. He would rather she cry endlessly than seeing her suffered this way. 

"Elen?" he asked softly and Firiel nodded weakly. 

"She was the star, the hope of my life. She helped me to survive. She was the light in the darkest part of my life. I missed her so much."

"You really love her. You still cannot let her go." Er-Galadh said rather sharply. A tone of jealousy was easily detected by Firiel. 

She looked up at him and held her gaze. Er-Galadh looked away but Firiel took his face in her hand. "She was my daughter." Her voice was shaky. "I carried her. She was a part of me more so than anyone else. Am I wrong to love her?"

His gaze fell. He was angry with himself but he was angry with Firiel nonetheless. Angry for he should have never acted like that and angry for she did not seemed to have any care in the world about how he felt. She remembered so many memories yet she did not remembered any of the time they had shared together. It was as though the time had never existed. He envied her daughter for Firiel had loved her and yet she cared naught of him. And he hated himself to even think about it.

Firiel saw the grief and anger in his eyes. She was the cause of it that much was obvious. Those eyes that used to held so much love. How much her presence had changed them. She was the bringer of darkness. He was better without her. "I'm sorry, I did not mean to hurt you."

"No, the apology is mine." Er-Galadh said sorrowfully. "I should not have reacted that way. I love you too much to let you go, perhaps as hard as it is for you to let Elen go." 

"Er-Galadh, you know of our condition…"

"I do and I understand. Forget about what I've said, Firiel." His gaze fell as he walked away from her.

She chased after him, knowing that whatever turmoil he had went through, it was not resolved yet. Grabbing his arm, she turned him around to face her. She stared at him, looking straight into his eyes, but he averted his gaze. "Er-Galadh, I do love you. But with our condition now I do not wished to lose you again. Not after what we had went through. I am not who you think I am anymore and so are you. Many things happened and it changed us ultimately. How can you love someone that you don't know?"

Er-Galadh was silent. Seeing that he would not say anything, she continued, "Know this much Er-Galadh, I love you and I always will. But for me now, it is best to keep our relationship as it was many years ago. You are my brother for me and I hope you can accept me that way."

Er-Galadh smiled and took her face in his hand. "Very well, sister. If that is what you wish," he said in a tone that he had always used many years ago. The memory washed over them. Perhaps it was for the best after all.


	14. Out From The Darkness

AN: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you sooooooooooooooooooo much to all those who read this story! I have no idea what else to say. My deepest and humblest gratitude to all of you. 

They are definitely out of the stupid mountain by the end of this chapter.

By the way, * is for the Black Speech that orcs used.

Another fight. This time, I hope the style will be more definite and noticeable. Absolutely ancient Asian style… 

Chapter 14: Out From The Darkness

They walked and walked yet the further they went the darker the cave was. The cave seemed to have no end. No way out. This confused not only Er-Galadh but also Firiel, whom he presumed knew of the place, seemed to know naught of this unending darkness. The way was meant to get brighter according to Firiel. Er-Galadh suggested that there might be another rock on the other side that blocked the light from penetrating the cave but Firiel was not convinced. The enchantment that was put could not block the sun.

The darkness of the cave bothered her not, but it affected Er-Galadh greatly for although he was accustomed in living inside one, he had never been in for this amount of time without looking at the trees of Mirkwood. Firiel also noted this. She was concerned about his condition, which appeared to have worsened though he would never admit it. She forced him to stop after travelling for a while and decided that she would search the way. She believed that the way out should be very near. 

And so she continued to travel alone. The way was straight with nothing interesting along the way. And for a while she felt like there is no other way out. It was, after all, quite a while ere she pass through this passage. And then it hit her. Literally. She was so caught up in her thought that she did not realised the way has ended and she crashed straight to it. Holding her head that felt like it was about to exploded, she examined her obstacle, trying to find a way to remove it. Smiling, she made her way back.

She found Er-Galadh pacing nervously around. His eyes brightened as he saw her walking back, more so as he saw a smile on her face. "Have you found a way out?"

Firiel nodded, still could not erased the smile on her face. "It was a rock, Er-Galadh. Not an enchanted one. It is quite real. I think someone tried to close the way. Come."

Despite of her sudden jovial nature, Er-Galadh was not convinced. "If it is true what you said, then how can we pass?"

"Do not under estimate me. I know a way." And with that she left, leaving Er-Galadh frowning, contemplating on her words. Shrugging, he followed her. 

They arrived at the end soon enough. Er-Galadh looked at the huge rock that blocked their way. With the condition they were in, removing the obstacle seemed to be an impossible task. Yet Firiel was not worried. She walked forward, examining the huge rock, tapping it with her staff in numerous places; she listened to the sound that it made. After a while, she stood back. A ghost of smile was on her face. She called Er-Galadh and was about to say something when the rock rolled away.

The two elves turned around in surprise. They shield their eyes, protecting it from the sudden burst of light that entered the cave. Er-Galadh peered between his fingers, trying to find out who opened their way. But Firiel knew and anger surged through her. 

Before them, as dazzled as they were, stood a band of orcs.

*Elves! How can they know of this way?* Arguments broke between the orcs, giving their adversary time to adjusted their eyes. They would have continue their arguments but for their leader who shut them up. It walked forward, acknowledging the two elves with a snarl. 

Er-Galadh readied his bow but Firiel walked towards them. She snarled back a reply in the same guttural tongue. Whatever she said seemed to have scared them for they started to retreat. All save one whom Firiel was talking to. He appeared to have doubted what Firiel had said. 

*What prove do you have to verify your statement?* he asked though he knew that the answer might as well cost his own life. 

Firiel sneered and gripped her staff. *Know that this will please me more than whatever delight you may gain from it. If you will live to enjoy it.*

He looked at the staff. It was plain, straight staff with a little carved ornament on top. Definitely nothing that could inflict any serious damage. The orc laughed in reply. *With that? The lady I know does not use such weak weapon.* 

*Weak? I believe you must feel its strength first before you form an opinion.*

*With pleasure.* and with that the orc took out his sword from its sheath. He charged forward, aiming for her body. She smiled, not moving a single muscle, waiting for the sword to come. It seemed that the sword would strike directly but she moved on the very last moment. The orc could not stopped, he went forward in front of her. He would have kept on going but Firiel extended her staff and he tripped over it, sending him crashing to the cave floor.

*Get up. Are you so weak?*

The taunt made his blood burn. He was humiliated by an elf. Not just any elves, but a weak, weapon less elf lady. He struggled up to his feet, determined to finish the offending person in front of him. He swung the sword in a wide arc, one after another, aiming for her neck. But none touched Firiel as she leaned backward, avoiding the tip of the sword by an inch. Finally, he lost his temper and made another attack. This time, he gave all the strength he has, focussing only on killing the elf. Yet the weapon missed again, but with all the strength he put, he could not end his move. He turned, following his sword. Taking the opportunity, Firiel raised her staff and swung it sideway. It hit the orc in the head with such a great force that it broke his skull, killing it instantly. 

The rest of the orcs saw their leader fell and did not wake up. They looked at the black robed figure and ran away in fear. Er-Galadh awakened from the shock and stared at Firiel in amazement. He knew that Firiel could protect herself to some extent but he would never guess that she could do such a thing. He saw the orcs that started to run away and fitted an arrow to his bow. He aimed and was about to shoot when Firiel pushed his arm down. "Let them go. We cannot possibly fight all of them in this condition."

He looked at her. She breath was short and shallow from the fight and she leaned heavily on her staff. Agreed, he lowered his bow and put away his arrow. They watched the orcs as they were not visible form their sight before continuing with their journey.

"There is many thing I do not know about you." he said half teasingly after walking for a while. The open air cheered them up after being captured under the cave for quite a long time. 

"There are many more to come." She smiled and said, "I was lucky. The orc I battled was not of a high rank. Should he was, I doubt that I will be standing here right now…" Her sentence stopped abruptly as they found a clearing in front of them. 

She looked at Er-Galadh, wondering whether it was best to walk through an open space. Er-Galadh returned her gaze. "As long as we stay on top of the tree we should be fine," he answered.

And so they travelled around the clearing, afraid should there were any beast or orcs around. Travel through it and they would be easy targets for all. They climbed from tree to tree, carefully picked the easiest and shortest path around the clearing. They pass through it quick enough yet by the end, night already fast approaching. 

Er-Galadh climbed down from the tree followed by Firiel, both decided to take their stop there before starting to look for anything to eat. They have not eaten anything for as long as they could remember. The rushing feeling that they had was enough to sustained them through the day but now that they were resting, the hunger spread over them. Firiel's stomach growled and she blushed in embarrassment. Er-Galadh smiled and said, "I thought you'd never eat." 

He took out their pack and looked inside. He let out a groan before taking out their ration for the might. It was deer's meat. Smoked to preserved the quality of it and so that they do not need to cook it. Open fire might attract unwanted guests. 

"What ails you?" Firiel asked, knowing that the groan could not be created purely by the spur of the moment. 

"These are our last ration of food. The elves presumed that we should arrive in the kingdom tomorrow at the least. We must hunt for food from now. This will slow down our journey."

Er-Galadh expected Firiel to be disappointed but she merely shrugged. Taking her portion of the food, she started to chew it and said, "I think I know of a faster way to reached Dol Guldur and trust me, this time it does not involve caves."

Er-Galadh took his share and replied light-heartedly, "I trust that it will not involve orcs?" 

She laughed and answered, "Nay. Naught of a kind. Instead, you will meet those who shared our side of this battle." 

They ate and talked lightly about the good time that belonged in their past, their memories. Their laughter rang through the woods before they stifled them, afraid that they would be spotted. It was odd, trying not to be discover by the elves for they were on the same side, but the elves should not find them nevertheless. 

They climbed a tree again upon finishing their meal. Sitting together in quite a strong branch, they continued their conversation. Er-Galadh pointed at the night sky. "Look, Firiel. Elemmire shines brightly tonight."

Firiel glanced at the star. It was one of the brightest star in the sky, but it was unusually bright that night. It has always been their star, perhaps more so from the fact that it could easily be seen. Elemmire, star jewel. It was a beautiful star and even more so this night.

She shifted her gaze down at his face and he looked down at her. The moon shone down at him, making him glowed with radiant light. But it was not just his physical self, she saw, but also his soul, shinning even brighter against the dark of the night.

Er-Galadh took her face in his hand, his finger traced the contour of her face. All of a sudden she knew. She could see it, feel it. His lip warm against her own, slowly caressing. How much she wanted to surrender to him. His light shinning in the darkness of her soul. But she looked away and the images vanished. She could not let it happen.

She glanced up and saw a disappointment in his eyes. Perhaps it was also what he saw in her eyes. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. He looked down and smiled, apparently satisfied by simply being close to her. His fingers slide down her cheek, playing with her hair. They stayed like that for a while, each enjoying each other's company. 

Single thought ran in their mind. They were used to do this long time ago. Er-Galadh would bring her to the woods near Ithilien and they would stay there for the night. The night sky has always been what Firiel loved most.

Er-Galadh gaze down at her after a while and asked, "When this battle ends, will you visit Mirkwood again?"

Having no reply, Er-Galadh looked down and saw that her eyes were closed. Smiling to himself, he leaned back against the trunk of the tree behind him and slept, gazing at the stars twinkling in the night sky.

Above the trees, smoke rose as the battle raged ever in Dol Guldur.


	15. Under The Shades Of Mirkwood

Chapter 15: Under The Shade Of Mirkwood

The night ended to soon. The sun rose in the east and the tow elves once again started their journey, but there was no argument between them. "I should have let him go," she said after walking for a while. "After all, he did opened the way for us." 

The statement reminded Er-Galadh of a question that hung in his mind. "Firiel, is the cave…"

"It was the orcs' way, yes," she answered, confirming his thoughts. "The way was known only by the orcs, hidden so that nothing may pass through. I presume they built it to gain an easier access to your kingdom." 

"How do you know of the way then?" He asked. As soon as the question escaped his lips, he wondered whether she would be offended.

But she simply shrugs and said, "I am the apprentice of Radagast."

Er-Galadh narrowed his eyes. "I failed to see the connection."

"Nature know of it," she replied. "They showed me the way."

"And I suppose they answer for the knowledge of the Black Speech?" he asked becoming les and les sure about her answer. She simply shrugged and said no more. 

Decided not to pursue the matter anymore, he changed the subject to something more pressing. They must hunt for food if they do not want to spend the day starving. Firiel agreed with him and so the hunt begun.

Firstly, they did not search of any place in particular. Instead they continued their way normally while searching for any sign of beast. They went on for a while, finding nothing on the way, until Er-Galadh heard a noise. More specifically, he heard footsteps. He signalled Firiel to come as he walked towards the source of the sound.

The footsteps indicated that whatever they were chasing was not moving in great speed. They crept up slowly, following the sound until they heard nothing more. The creature has stopped, making it hard for them to detect its position. Despite of this, they kept on going, relying entirely on their instinct. It seemed that their instinct did not failed them for soon they spotted a footprint accompanied with a couple of broken branches that appeared as though it was deliberately done.

They followed the trail for a while, not detecting any other sign of movement. They should find it soon enough. Moving as fast as possible so that the creature would not get away, they suddenly heard the footsteps again. Er-Galadh started to chase after it but Firiel did not move. Her gaze was fixed somewhere else. "What are you doing? We might lose it."

Firiel flinched before shaking her head. "I think it is better to stop our pursue. We are getting too far away from the path." 

He raised his eyebrows in disapproval. "Should we then starve all the way to Dol Guldur?" 

She held out her hand. "No need. Though you can if you wish. I found other food and we do not need to chase after it. Look." With that, she pointed to a shrub near her. Er-Galadh looked at what she pointed at. It was fruits. "I think it will be sufficient." Bending down, she picked up one of them and threw it to Er-Galadh. 

Er-Galadh caught it. "How can you be so sure that it's safe to eat? What if it contains poison?"

She stared at him and started to giggle. "Well, it is more reason why you should eat it first." He tilted his head making her giggles broke into laughter. Controlling herself with great effort, she spoke, "With every poison come an antidote. Fear not, I can always heal you should the worst happen."

He glared at her, aghast. Covering the distance between them in a few strides he thrust the fruit to her. "Why don't you eat it instead?"

She frowned as though the answer was very obvious. "If I do, and it is poisoned, I won't be in the right state of mind to heal myself." Er-Galadh took a glimpse at the fruit and brought it slowly to his mouth but Firiel stopped him. She pulled his hand away and bites into the part that he would have eaten.

"Firiel!" Er-Galadh grabbed her shoulder but she slide away and finished the bite.

Smiling broadly, she said, "There is no poison. The fruit is save to eat." 

He could only stared in surprised before his expression changed to those of annoyance. "You know of this." Firiel just grinned and picked more fruits, enough for a few days journey. She stood up; ready to start their journey again when she felt arms enveloped her before a soft kiss landed on her temple. "You scared me. I would rather eat it instead."

He smiled as he rested his chin above her head. Her body stiffened abruptly and she broke away from his embrace. "What ails you?" he asked unable to understand her sudden change of mood.

She turned around and said matter-of-factly, "We must get to the old path before might falls. I cannot afford to lose more time." She forced a smile and walked away swiftly leaving Er-Galadh frowning, contemplating on this.

Why did she try to get away every time I was close to her? He remembered the last night event and sighed. Perhaps this too will unravel as time progress. And with that he shrugged and chase after her.

They walked faster than usual for the need to reach Dol Guldur pressed on them more heavily than ever. The way was not hard to thread compared to those before the mountain. They had reserved to go through the trees as both found that the way was faster and, being a wood-elf, Er-Galadh found that the way was also easier. 

They took their rest every now and then yet they did not tarry long. Soon enough they reached the old forest path, faster than what Firiel had expected. She was very pleased with this and decided that they should rest for a while to restore their energy. Er-Galadh glanced at her and smiled. Her mood was better than the usual. 

They sat near the pathway, eating the fruits that Firiel brought in silence. They did not eat all of them, for they need to keep their supply otherwise they will end up chasing another beast. It was lucky that she found the fruit along the way for the chase will take few of the precious time left. Firiel finished her portion faster than Er-Galadh. She glanced at him, trying to stop the drip from his mouth. She smiled and looked up to the sky. It was time to call her friend.

Er-Galadh watched her between his vain attempts to eat the treacherous fruit. Her face was basked in sunlight and for once he thought that he saw not the half-elf but a fey. Her expression was so serious he did not dare to interrupt her but was contempt in simply looking at her.

"What is it like to live in Mirkwood, Er-Galadh?" Firiel asked, lowering her gaze down from the sky. 

Er-Galadh did not answered. He was lost in his mind. Firiel saw this and whispered his name softly, waking him from his elven dream. He looked at her, confused. "What is it like, Er-Galadh, to live in Mirkwood amongst the elves?" she repeated her question.

Er-Galadh frowned at her question. "It is monotonous like what you said many years ago about me. Except perhaps for the occasional attack by the orcs. Everyone has their own duty and that is what we do every day. Must be different from the way of men."

"Not as different as what you think. It is the same. Perhaps the only difference is the amount of affairs that they have. They are the reason why to their own misery. Hardly anything come but from their own race yet they blamed others for their misfortunes." She sighed and continued, "That is why I left it long time ago. When I was young, I thought the way they do, but now, looking back at it all, I wondered why. Things that were monotonous for me then changed into something else. It is as though I cannot live without my usual routine."

"Perhaps you have become more elf than you are before." Er-Galadh remarked. It was unusual to hear her talking the way she did. She was changing faster than what he had expected. Could it be that she was right? That they truly do not know each other anymore?

"Perhaps because I have grown weary of life." She sighed. "There is little in this life left for me. This battle will be the last."

"What will you do then?" Er-Galadh asked. Never would he think the girl that he once knew would say such thing. She used to be full with hopes and dreams of the future. The girl he knew was full with vigour of life but now she was naught but a wintering tree, ready to let go of what little it had left.

"What I am bid to do," she replied. "To become Radagast apprentice, devoting my life to him."

His heart ached as he heard her muttered those words. He wanted her to live with him, spending their time together again like the way it was many years ago. He would do whatever it takes but he had let her go once and that was all it takes to lose her forever. He pushed away all his thoughts and instead asked what he had mentioned a night before. "Will you visit Mirkwood again?"

Firiel turned to face him and smiled. "Perhaps. I do wish to meet my brother again after all." With that she stood up and whistled a high sounding pitch. Something ruffled above her, breaking the braches of the trees. Er-Galadh shielded his eyes against the sun to see the creature above him but it was of no use. The creature has flown low and landed on the ground next to him. It was a magnificent eagle, greater than any other he had ever seen. Firiel reached out to it and stroke its feathers. "Behold, Gwaihir the Windlord."

AN: Right now I'm feeling like tearing myself. When will the battle started? AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHHHHHHH can't take it anymore. This thing takes so long… Maybe if I write longer chapter? But they're definitely reaching Dol Guldur by next chapter. So annoying when this happen but I still need to build up on their emotions towards each other… Very annoying! *Sigh* I should have known. I put this upon myself when I made them fight… 


	16. Revenge and Regret

AN: Wow! 16 chapters and the first battle haven't even begun. I wonder how long this story will be… Thank you very much for all the review. I think you all know by now how much I love reading all those reviews. Even flames are welcome but I prefer constructive criticism for obvious reason of course…

The poem in this story were given to me from a friend but she didn't know who wrote it either.

Chapter 16: Revenge And Regret 

The two birds flew close to the ground as possible. It was an uncanny pairing to see. A great and magnificent eagle flying alongside a small, insignificant black bird. The eagle also carried a person along for the journey. An elf to be exact. 

Firiel had refused to go along with Gwaihir and Er-Galadh, preferring to fly instead beside them. This shocked Er-Galadh but Gwaihir seemed to have anticipated it. She refused the ride with a reason that it would slow them down should Gwaihir also carry her. But all of them know that it would make little or no difference at all. She simply was trying to avoid Er-Galadh and she was succeeding in doing so. Er-Galadh's argument was more one sided and brought no changes to her decision.

And so they had travelled. Firiel predicted that they should be able to arrive in Dol Guldur in maximum of two days but she hoped that they would reach it within the day. Er-Galadh first thought that it was a wistful thinking but seeing the speed that they were travelling in, he wondered whether he should ever contradicts her again. What astounded him even more was how fast she could travel. He had seen many ravens or crows before but none of them has the same speed as the little black bird next to him now. 

Gwaihir looked Firiel beside him. How stupidly stubborn she was. She knew that by transforming into a bird, she had wasted her energy and what's worse; she had slowed down their journey more than if she would simply ride with that elf. She hardly weighted anything at all. He could understand her caution but this was ridiculous. She should know better. 

Firiel could hear Gwaihir's opinions in her mind. Truly there were nothing she hided from him and he had trusted her with many things. Sometimes this also means being blunt with each other. She knew that he would not hate her for what she thinks and it was also the case with her. He knew her darkest secrets and fears while she knew his. Maybe not all but she believed that it gave no harm to tell Gwaihir the truth. She trusted him.

Despite what he counselled her, she still did not change her mind. Gwaihir given up on her, thinking that the outcomes did not concern him at all. If it was what she thought as the best then, she could have her way. He was in no position to force her after all.

They had travelled in silence except for the occasional thoughts that crossed between Gwaihir and Firiel. The air was still and the silence that hung between them was so thick, one could sliced it with a sharp, pointed knife but it was peaceful nonetheless. Something that they were all grateful for. 

But it did not lasted for long.

It was Firiel that first felt it. A dark and brooding feeling, cooler than the peak of Caradhras and darker even than Mandos' Hall . The atmosphere enveloped her, knowing that she belonged to it. The darkness beckoned her.

None felt it except Firiel and she knew what it was with a sudden shock. Gwaihir felt rather than saw it from her mind as she started to fly towards it. A deep, surging anger. The anger that he had never detected there for a very long time. He also knew.

Fear crept to his heart as he saw her flying away and tried to called her. *Firiel! Don't go! Ignore it!*

*I am not coming to it. Can you not see? They are fleeing the battle. They are going away from this. I cannot let them. It has been too long. This is my only chance and nothing will change it. Not them, not you, not anyone.* she retorted. Anger blinded her. She wanted only one thing; revenge and she did not care if her life was the price.

Knowing that she would not listen to him, Gwaihir enquired for Er-Galadh's help. He spoke to him, much to the elf's shock and said, "Er-Galadh, stopped her!"

Er-Galadh had also saw her flying away yet he did not understand the danger that she put herself in. He could not see why Gwaihir was so tense. Gwaihir sense his disbelieve and called out again desperately to no avail. Firiel would never listen to him. Not in this condition. The only hope now lay in Er-Galadh's hand. 'Er-Galadh, you must stop her. She cannot fight them."

Er-Galadh looked down at the eagle. What was he talking about? Surely Firiel knew the way. But he sensed his distress and asked, "How can I stop her?"

"Shoot her down. I'll try to follow her but you must shoot her down!" Er-Galadh stared at him, unable to believe what he had heard. He could not possibly shoot her. Gwaihir sensed his doubts and said, "It is better to wound her than lose her completely." but Er-Galadh was not convinced. Gwaihir shouted desperately, "The Ulairi are before us!"

Er-Galadh heard his shout but he could not believe him. It could not be the Ringwraith even though now he could feel the dark presence. He lifted his bow reluctantly, hoping against all hope that it was not the Ringwraith.

Gwaihir could felt their presence gradually grew stronger and fear crept into his heart. "Shoot her!" he shouted as he saw her flying faster towards them. He tried to stopped her but she was smaller than him. Too small. She soon flew before him again.

"Shoot her!" He urged the elf on top of him. Er-Galadh fitted and arrow but he still would not shoot, unwilling to hurt her. She flew further and further away to the East, following the source of darkness.

"Shoot her!" Gwaihir shouted harder. His tone sounded more urgent than ever. "Shoot her!" Then suddenly it was in front of them; the Ulairi, and Firiel quickened her pace.

"Shoot!" Gwaihir shouted for the last time but Er-Galadh did not needed his advise anymore. The arrow flew from its host, cutting through the air and hit its target. The black bird turned back into her natural form, falling faster than ever. Gwaihir flew underneath her, just in time before she fell to the thicket below.

Gwaihir felt a pressure in his back and heaved a sigh as gladness washed over the worry in his heart. But it was not the case with Er-Galadh. Firiel was unconscious, perhaps from the fall and he examined her wound closely. His aim was true for he did not missed his target, her wing. Yet the arrow was not simply embedded in her harm, it tore through the flesh and blood dripped from it. He was about to ask Gwaihir to stop their journey but it seemed that he could read his mind for he already flew low to the pool of water below. 

*****

The lake glistened in the fading ray of light that marked the end of the day, turning it red. Bloody red. Er-Galadh observed the wound thoroughly. "How could the arrow passed through the flesh?" He wondered aloud.

"She was in her bird form when you shoot her," Gwaihir replied. "The arrow went through her wing did it not?"

Er-Galadh grimaced as he saw the wound. He had laid her against a tree, her wounded arm hung loosely on her side. He picked up her arm carefully. Gripping at the back of the arrow, he summoned all his strength and broke it swiftly.

Firiel cried out as the pain snapped her back into her senses. She saw Er-Galadh in front of her in confusion and followed his gaze to her arm. "What happened?"

"I shot you. Have you lost your mind? You could have died then." He retorted angrily as he stood up. Gladness surged through him as she awakened yet he could not stopped feeling infuriated by her decision. She did not even cared the danger she put herself into.

He wanted her to listen to him for once but what came across her eyes was pure venom. Struggling to her feet, she hit his face with her other arm, leaving him dazzled. He did not expected the assault. Gripping the point of the arrow she screamed, "I would rather die!" as she yanked the arrow free. Blood flowed hard from the open wound but she cared naught of it and stormed away. 

Er-Galadh started to chase after her but Gwaihir stopped him. "Let her go. It will do no good for you to talk to her now. Let her be, she will forget about it by the end of the week at the most."

He laughed sarcastically as he heard what Gwaihir said. "How could she forget that easily? Did you not see her then? I don't think she will ever forgive me for what I did." The elf shook his head in despair and fell into a languid silence.

"You know her not then. She is not as vengeful than what you think. At least no to you," Gwaihir replied. He knew what place he had in her heart and thought whether he was aware of it too. It was unlikely though, judging from the way she had reacted in front of him. She was trying to hide it. "I think it is best for me to leave now," Gwaihir spoke after a while. "Thank you, Er-Galadh. You are what Firiel said you would be."

He lifted his head, a ghost of smile was on his face. "No, I should thank you. It would have be too late should you not warn me." 

Gwaihir spread his wings and with a beat from them, he flew towards the horizon. But he did not leave Mirkwood yet. He flew for a while until he was sure that Er-Galadh could not see him anymore and found a big enough gap in the foliage for him to go through. He flew carefully, trying to go back to where he came from. It was not a too hard task for him who soon found the lake again though he could not found Er-Galadh. Softly, he heard a voice singing in the silence of the forest and he knew the owner of the voice straight away. He followed it to the source of the sound and found Firiel gazing at the moon above her. 

__

"I will remember you

Will you remember me?

Don't let your life pass by

Weep not for memories

I am so tired 

I cannot sleep

Standing on the edge

Of something much too deep

Funny how I feel so much

But cannot say a word

We are screaming inside

But we cannot be heard

So afraid to love you

More afraid to lose

Clinging to a past 

That doesn't let me choose

Once there was a darkness

A deep and endless night

You gave me everything you had

And you gave me light." (Anonymous)

__

Gwaihir probed gently to her mind, not wanting to surprised her. Firiel lowered her gaze and looked straight into his eyes. Her own still showed the remnants of the venom she gave Er-Galadh. *Gwaihir, what is it that you want from me?*

*Firiel, you must understand that we could not let you go,* he replied angrily. It was about time that she realised that her revenge was not everything. *You would harmed yourself that way. You know that you could do naught to stop them.*

Firiel glared at his words but say nothing in reply. Knowing that he would get anything across that way, Gwaihir controlled his anger and spoke calmly, *Beside, if you harm yourself, how can you have your vengeance?* His words was reasonable and he felt her anger slipping away.

*Gwaihir, I am so tired. I cannot see any reason to continue with this anymore.* Firiel sighed. She sat down and burrowed her head between her knees. 

Gwaihir saw that she was calmer and spoke after a great length of silence. *What about Er-Galadh?* He saw Firiel lifted her head immediately. Almost too fast, Gwaihir thought. *No need to hide anything from me Firiel. I knew of your feeling towards him.*

*No more of this, Gwaihir,* she whined. *I have enough right now.* 

Gwaihir thought that he should let her alone but that much had confirmed his suspicion. *Very well, I shall leave you for now. Dol Guldur is not too far away from here. Call me should you need any help.*

She burrowed her head again. *I will,* she spoke and said no more. Gwaihir spread his wings again as he prepared his second flight for the night when he heard a faint whisper in his mind. *I am sorry for what I did. Thank you my friend.*

He did not turned around but he replied, *It is not to me that you owe your apology. You know who I am talking about. Perhaps you owe even more than mere apology. Talk to him, Firiel, he deserve to know the truth.* and with that he flew away into the night, leaving Firiel contemplating his words.

Ok, I know this chapter is as bad as chapter 4 but as you can see, it'll lead to another event. But flames are welcome and I'm not being sarcastic.


	17. Moonlight On The Lake

AN: No Dol Guldur yet, sorry. But I'll make up for it in the next chapter of non-stop fighting scene. Promise, but for now, this is all...

*****WARNING*****

Contain exquisite material inside. Read at own peril. Consider yourself warned! 

Chapter 17: Moonlight On The Lake

Er-Galadh woke up with a start as he heard a sound. The sound was soft but he could hear it clearly for it was in the middle of the night and everything was quiet. Sometimes it is a curse to become an elf, he thought. It's probably nothing. He leaned back to continue his dreamless sleep when suddenly he heard it again. A ripple in the water below. He looked down from the tree and saw nothing on the lake but the movement of water indicated that there was something there. Something or someone. 

Could it be an orc? He asked himself. After all, they were nearing Dol Guldur. The thought woke him fully as he realised the danger they were in. It worried him even more as he did not know where Firiel was and was not sure that she realised the immediate danger. He was wondering at her whereabouts when she appeared in the lake below him.

He stared at her, startled, before averted his gaze in sheer embarrassment. He blamed himself for the unwanted incident. It explicated the reason for the sound though, and gladness swept over him. There was no orc after all; it was only Firiel. He wondered how long she would be and whether he should talk to her when a wet hand touched his face.

He turned around and saw Firiel in front of him. She shivered slightly from the cold air, water dripping from her robe. Smiling gently, she moved her gaze to the lake below. Er-Galadh gasped as her message sunk in. "Us?" he asked, stunned. 

Firiel giggled. "No, silly. You."

Er-Galadh blushed in embarrassment and tried to alter their conversation. "How is your arm?"

Surprisingly, this question brought shadow to her eyes. "It is fine," she replied grimly and looked down. He thought that she would be infuriated by the mention but when she looked up, her eyes held no such emotion. Instead of anger, there was only remorse. "Er-Galadh, I am sorry for what I have done. You were right. I could have died and I did not even think about anything else. I have no right to do what I did. I should have thank you instead."

Er-Galadh smiled as he heard her uttered those words. Gwaihir was right about her after all. He examined her closely. How vulnerable she appeared with her remorseful expression and her wet clothes, shivering convulsively now as the wind blew harder. He reached out to her but she flinched away and he stopped. She might be sorry but it did not mean that he could cross over the gap she put between them. "Why are you avoiding me?" he asked in desperation.

Firiel looked away. She opened her mouth to speak but words died on her lips. How could she explain it to him? She feared what she would see should she tell the truth but she remembered what Gwaihir said. He did deserve to know the truth. Swallowing the fear of a lifetime, she crossed the gap she created herself.

"I am trying to avoid you because…" her voice trailed away. She was a ghost of smile on his face. What was she supposed to say? How could she say it? "Er-Galadh, I am afraid to love and lose you again. I don't want to feel that way. Not anymore. It brought too much suffering. I avoided you because I felt myself falling into the same trap."

"What trap did you refer to?" Er-Galadh asked in reply. "I do not feel that way."

"Love, Er-Galadh," she spoke reluctantly. "I tried so hard not to-"

"You are fooling yourself Firiel," Er-Galadh interrupted suddenly understanding her. "Have I not said that nothing is eternal? But to fear losing it and deprived yourself of what little happiness in this life is wrong. To love is to lose. It is the game of life yet many dwells on it."

He heard her sighed before she answered, "It is folly…"

"No. It is wise," he retorted. Why can't she just listen? He asked himself. Why will she not open herself even for a while to listen to what I have to say? "They are wise to play the game for none can escape it. To pretend that it never existed, that is folly." and with that Er-Galadh climbed down the tree, knowing that it will sever their relationship. Firiel would only hardened the more he argued. 

Taking off his top, he walked to the lake when he, unexpectedly, felt an arm slipped under his hand and wrapped around his body. He turned around to face Firiel, her arm slipped around his back. He held her close, feeling her shivered against him and realising how cold she was. "I am sorry Er-Galadh."

He was shocked at this change of attitude. "What for?" he asked, still not convinced. His voice was ragged and it tore her heart.

"Everything," she sobbed quietly against him. "For everything."

He took her face in his hand, feeling happier than ever before in his life, his finger wiping away the tears from her eyes. "Was there really anything to forgive?" he whispered.

But she did not hear him and continued with her ramblings. "I should have understood. I-"

His finger slide down to her lips, "Hush. I would not have it any other way, Firiel. I love you just the way you are." and smiled at her. He knew that she would think of him as a romantic fool but it was the truth. He did not think that he could cope with the Firiel he used to know. As she had stated, they changed, but it was for the better. 

He brought her away from the lake and sat down. His arm still enfolded her; he rested her head on his bare chest. She sighed contentedly and snuggled close. "I love you," she whispered, not caring for once that they soon must part.

He stood up shortly and Firiel looked at him, startled. "I am going to wash myself," he replied her questioning eyes. Her eyes shone mischievously but she did not move. He waited to see whether she wanted to say anything else but she merely lie back, gazing at the stars in the sky.

He washed himself without any interruption. The water in the lake was cold against his skin but as he stood up, the chill in the air was cooler than the water. He took on his top; the water from his body seeped through, soaking the cloth.

He walked towards where Firiel laid and saw her still gazing at the stars. Or not? Her eyes were not focussed. Could it be that she slept with her eyes open as well? He waved his hand above her but she did not stirred. Smiling to himself, he sat down next to her, being content simply by looking at her. Her hand was behind her head, supporting it against the earth beneath and her dark hair spread around her in a tangled net.

He remembered how he had felt when she hit him just a few hours ago. How angry he felt when she had done so and yet now he forgave her for everything merely by a simple apology. How could he felt that way to anyone? How could she make him felt that way with simple word and gesture? How could he hate her and yet love her? 

He looked at her face. A single scar marred it. It was he recognised, from the incident where he thought he found out her identity. How much he loved her. Oh, sure he could think of many other elf-maiden that was more beautiful than her but no one can replace the place she held in his heart.

Suddenly he felt a strong desire to kiss her. Just a light one on her lips. She will never realised it, he thought. Propped in his arm, he bent over and kissed her, feeling again the taste of her lips and smelling her scent. The only time he had done more than this to her was in the mountain of Mirkwood and even then he went not much further. She intoxicated him and without knowing it, his mouth traced down her neck, nibbled the skin underneath it. Gently, slowly. Softly, he heard her sigh of pleasure. It was nearly inaudible but being very close to her, he could hear it. It snapped him back to his senses. He pulled away from her. She was still sleeping for her eyes were still unfocussed but a smile adorned her face.

That was it. He felt the longing deep inside of him. He wanted her more badly than ever. His hand trembled as he traced the contour of her face. He snapped it away. Stumbling to his feet, he walked away from her. He slumped down after he felt that he was far enough, his back facing her. Hiding his face between his knees, he wept openly. How could he? He thought that he would never do anything like that to her but he just did. His desire was strong enough. He condemned the person who raped her yet just then he felt the same and he could have done the same. He was very near. Too near. 

He heard her stirred up but feeling that he could never face her again, he let his face buried between his knees. He heard her footsteps coming closer to him. Don't let her find me, he pleaded. Please don't let her find me. But it was to no avail. The footsteps went only to one direction and that was towards him. Don't come, he cried mentally. I cannot trust myself with you, Firiel. 

Surprisingly, he heard a faint voice in his head. It was Firiel's. *Then trust me…* it whispered. He turned around in amazement. The voice was still speaking in his head but Firiel did not open her mouth. He gasped. Still shocked by what he found, he did not realised Firiel sitting in front of him until her mouth was against his as she kissed him languorously. Her hand slide against his chest, slowly unbuttoning his tunic. 

*Firiel, what are you doing?* he asked, convinced that she could hear him. He tried to stop her but it was a feeble attempt. He wanted her and she knew it.

*Taking your clothes off,* she teased. Her hand stopped to caress his chest sensuously before returning to its task. *You will fall ill should you wear wet raiment in this cold night.*

His hand curled around her back while the other stroked her face. *Then why are you kissing me?*

"Because I want to," she murmured against his lips. His top was undone and she slipped it away from him. He complied with her by removing the offending material away and took her in his arm.

"Can I do this then?" he asked as he lowered her to the wet grass, careful with her wounded arm. Then he manoeuvred his position so that she was lying with him on top of her. She made a low, throaty purr, which he took as an agreement. Removing the hair from her face, he traced down her neck with his finger before kissing her leaf-shaped ear.

She laughed in delight. Her mouth traced down his neck, nibbled at his jugular vein. He broke away from her, looking at her eyes shining brightly with happiness. He smiled and kissed her deeply; his hand went lower. He heard her silent gasped as he took part of her robe and slide his hand up tracing the curve of her body. 

Suddenly, he tasted tears in his mouth. Pulling away from the kiss, he saw Firiel's eyes, filled with tears and an intense fear. An old fear. "Don't," she whimpered as his hand slide higher, revealing her soft skin underneath. "No, no, no." Her body shook uncontrollably. Stopping his movement, he held her still, steadying her. 

He looked at her, confused when suddenly he understood. The raiment was a shield for her, something that he could not penetrate through. Not yet. Not now. Releasing her robe, he touched her face gently and whispered, "Worry not. I will not do it if you wished not to."

Firiel clung to him and sobbed. "I am sorry, Er-Galadh. I did not mean to-"

He silenced her by sealing her mouth with his. "It's alright. I should have anticipated this," he muttered against her moist lips. 

She shook her head adamantly, sensing his displeasure. She knew he wanted her and she wanted to submit to him. He had yielded for too long and she had ignored his feeling. Too long. 

She wanted to pleasure him even if it meant facing her greatest fear. She closed her eyes and taking the back of his hand in hers, she guided it down along her body, hearing his breathing, hard against her neck.

"Firiel, don't," his voice was husky. Already, she was trembling. Harder than before as she was trying to suppressed it. He refused to move his hand. Firiel, weak from self-restrain could not do anything else. Not even to weep. He rolled aside, bringing Firiel so that he was underneath her, her head rested on his bare chest. She dropped to him, having no strength left and he stroke her hair kissing the top of her head. "Not now, my love." he sighed and let the darkness took over him. "I love you."

The moon shone in the night sky, its light illuminated the pool beneath. Wind blew amongst the trees whispering the unspoken promise. "One day," it whispered. "One day." 

OMG! How sappy is this story? Can't believe I was actually trembling while typing some of the stuff in this chapter. Really need go get going with the plot. This is quite a blasphemy even from my side. But it's needed for the development of the story. How crap is this? Flame in this chapter is welcomed if not expected. I don't think this chapter is well written at all. I don't know…I think I should rewrite it but I don't have much time and I would like to get going with the fight, so sorry about the sudden change of mood. A question though, should I put the rate higher?

A little explanation. I decided to do this after read and re-reading this story over and over again. I feel that I must explain the reason for Firiel sudden 'explosion,' let just say, and the way Er-Galadh reacted to it.

Firiel:

Why did she suddenly cried and asked Er-Galadh to stop? 

The answer was because of the whole rape incident that happened more than a thousand years ago. 

Then why on earth did she react that badly? 

Because she had never truly dealt with it. She had put it aside. That's why she cried when telling Er-Galadh of the event. Because she actually never dealt with the feeling. It's like an untended wound, left aside with hope that it will disappear. But the truth is, it'll never disappear that way. It will only get worse. Let just hope there's no infection there. 

What about Elen? Didn't she have to deal with it then? With Elen?

She actually detached Elen from the whole event. That's why she did not mention Elen when telling Er-Galadh about the incident.

Hope that'll explain some of the doubts about Firiel. Ask me for further explanation or if there's other question you want to know about her.

Er-Galadh:

Sure he's a male character but he's more female than male. He's more sensitive than Firiel that's one thing for sure. Firiel was violent and he was the passive one. Why is this?

The most obvious reason (and the only one) is because he's an elf. They are more restrained, trying not to make the wrong 'move' because they are blinded by emotions. I suppose it make them pretty boring or monotonous like what Er-Galadh said himself, but that doesn't mean that they do not posses any emotion. They become more sensitive because of that especially of others' feelings. 

But that's just my interpretation of elves. Feel free to contradict me. It'll make quite a good discussion I think. 


	18. Though lovers are gone, love shall not

AN: So here comes the long awaited battle. Hope I won't disappoint you guys especially with the last chapter, which I must admit, was a bit of a blasphemy from my side. I was hyped and depressed at the same time. Those two are not the best of friend. 

This chapter will start in the first person point of view to understand more of Firiel. 

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Italics will be used to indicate the thoughts and any conversation that passed through the mind.

Chapter 18: "Though lovers gone, love shall not."

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I have dreaded this moment. From the time Er-Galadh came back into my life, I have dreaded this. Nothing is eternal, he said, and how right he was. It disturbed me to realise that this, everything, might ended by the next sunset. I should have known. Perhaps I do, after all, but I don't care anymore. Death come and goes. Ultimately, we all will go one day but today, I felt so vulnerable. I am, after all, a half-elf. To me, death come closer than any elf could imagine.

Yet it was not death that I fear. Truly, death will be preferable compared to losing your love. Trust me; I've been through this over and over again. It's like a circle, a never-ending circle.

I am so tired. Please, spare me of this. Have I not been through enough? First it was my father, Elen, and then I lost Er-Galadh for a very long while. I found him again, but must I lose him again? Friends and family pass me by for I have elven blood in my body and am doomed. Doomed for I cannot pass. I cannot go to Mandos Hall when time sees it fit. I am doomed…

This is it. If you must come, then come. But can I, at the slightest, be prepared of your coming? Or will you come like a thief, from the window, in the dead of night, sneaking like a cat? Then come. Come and take whatever left inside of me, inside this shell of protection. I cannot care anymore. I cannot fight anymore. One thing I wish, I desire, is to go to Mandos Hall when these task is over. And there, I will remember the reminiscent of the live that I once had and the dreams that I once dreamed… 

*****

Firiel stretched and turned around. Er-Galadh had just woken up and his movement woke her also. He was gathering his clothes and his weapons. His bow and arrows and his sword. His presence reminded her of the previous night and she blushed subconsciously. He seemed to have felt her gaze for he turned around, studying her carefully before walking towards her with a smile in his eyes.

Firiel saw the happiness he projected and her heart ached for she realised that soon she would never see it again. Yet despite of this, she smiled back at him and the two embraced. Firiel relished in it. Her thought reeled again, her fear coming back and amidst all this a voice called out from the back of her mind, her own voice. _Last kiss, last touch. _

They parted and Firiel could not help but feeling disappointed. He touched her face softly, tracing the scar on her cheek. She could not bear to see to his eyes anymore. Her feeling was too strong, she feared it would break through and she did not wish him to see it. She wanted him to know that she understood. And she did understand but it's not easy to dispel of one's fear. 

Her gaze fell on his chest and frowned for there was something she did not see the night before. His body was covered in scars, so fine that it was impossible to see in the absence of light. Er-Galadh followed her gaze and saw that she noticed his token of the past conflicts. "Who…?" the question died in her lips and trailed off into the air.

"The same creatures that gave you this," he replied, touching the scar in her face once more.

"Tell me," she pleaded. Her throat was tied into a painful knot that could not be rid of. Her voice sounded hoarse and she swallowed hard to pressed it down.

Er-Galadh sighed, thinking whether he should or not. After a long while, he decided to tell her. There was no harm in it after all. Not that he could think of at least. "I was captured once, to Dol Guldur. That is why Alfirin was very upset with my leaving. I thought that I can never escape from it but someone freed me. It was almost unreal, even as I say it now I cannot understand it. The person who freed me was one of the leaders of the army and he was the same person who captured me. Sure he did not revealed himself to me deliberately but I could tell and I cannot understand why." 

Firiel glanced at his eyes. He was telling the truth. She looked down, unable to suppress the seething anger in her heart. Her eyes were glazed as she bent her head down and kissed along the scars. She felt a caressing hand on her hair. "What had happened cannot be change anymore. It is best to be left behind," his voice spoke gently in her ear. She turned her head up to meet his gaze and forced a smile.

"We must go now," he decided for a change and she nodded. She watched as he readied himself before starting on their journey once more. He walked in front of her, his step leave neither sound nor mark on the newly fallen dew. This time, it was him that left her on her own mind.

His voice rang in her mind and anger arose in her again. _They will pay for this_, she swore vehemently to herself. _They will._

AN: I know I promised that this chapter is a fighting scene but it went for too long so I have to cut it short on this one. The next one though is a full on fighting for approximately, 5 pages. So enjoy the next chapter. Sorry to cut this one short.


	19. Battle In Dol Guldur

AN: Ok, this is definitely a fighting chapter. Full on! I am not cutting anymore. So, here goes. Enjoy…

As usual _Italics_ is used to denoted thoughts and things that goes across the mind of the characters.

Chapter 19: Battle In Dol Guldur

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The two elves continued their journey for quite a long while, trying to reach Dol Guldur as fast as possible. They travelled ever towards the west. Er-Galadh felt the hope seeped through his every fibre of being. With the absence of their leader, surely the attacks from the orcs could easily be obliterated. Firiel though, lost the motivation to a certain degree. Now that they knew the owner of the place has left, the journey had somehow become pedantic. She hesitated in their journey for her heart was torn once again between her master and her love. 

They had decided that since they would arrive earlier than the elves, they should go straight to Radagast to foretell the coming of the forces from Mirkwood and the absence of the enemy they sought. This decision was made after a much thoughts from both sides. Firiel wished to delay their journey, wanting no more than spending all the times they had left together. But Er-Galadh decided against it for the battle and its outcome must come first in their mind, action and heart. Something that Firiel was unable to do.

Er-Galadh often found her lost in her thought. Sometimes he felt the urge to call her but he decided against it. She did not lag behind after all. She was lost in one of her thought when the first sight of the tower loomed in the horizon. She snapped back to the reality and her eyes wandered around uneasily. They were nearing or perhaps even entered the perilous vicinity of Dol Guldur. 

Er-Galadh walked forward faster now that the end of their journey is near. He did not hear the warning that Firiel whispered him and walked forward unguarded. Suddenly a cry rang through the wood and a stench of burned flesh marred the air as a figure fell in front of the unwary elf. Er-Galadh unsheathed his sword immediately but it seemed that he was too late. Four orcs came from all sides, trapping him in the middle of their dark circle. 

"Who are you?" an orc asked in Common. It seemed from the way he walked forward that he was the leader of this group. "No one can kill our member using such a way."

"Have I gone so long that you do not recognised my presence anymore?" another voice asked softly in the Black Speech. The orcs turned around, for the voice did not came from inside their protective circle. A figure walked towards the light as it lowered its black hood, revealing its scarred face. "Have you forgotten your Lady now?" the voice asked mockingly. 

Er-Galadh also turned although he knew the source of the voice even if he was in the middle of a raging storm. Firiel was there, smiling contently as she walks near the orcs. _Now! _She screamed in his mind, jolting him back into reality. _Now, while they are caught unaware_.

Er-Galadh took her hint and turned around to face the orc behind him, his sword swung sideway to met the vulnerable skin between the helm and the armour it wore. The blow came unprovoked and it almost severed the head entirely from the body. The two orcs from its side realised the mistake its comrade made and sought to attacked the offending elf. They charged forward, their sword straight in the air. Er-Galadh ran towards one of the attacking orc and, missing the tip of its blade, went behind it before he heard the yell it gave as it received the merciless thrust from its own comrade. 

Firiel saw Er-Galadh turned around but gave no indication of anything amiss. The orcs did not notice that anything was wrong until they heard a scream coming behind them. They turned around to see that one of their members had its sword half way trough the other's body. While their dim-witted brain mulled over the scene in front of them, a blow came on top of their head and from the side, breaking their neck and killing them instantly. 

The only remaining orc took out its sword from the lifeless body in front of it and shield its head just in time from a blow. The elf that once stood vulnerable in front of it now became a powerful adversary. But it also did not forget the robed figure on its side. The orc knew it could not run away from them. It was ready for another blow by the elf when a hand stopped him unexpectedly. The orc took the chance and thrust its sword but the elf was ready. He shifted his position making the orc missed its target. Anger rose inside the orc and it swore vehemently. A word that died half way, just like the sword it thrust, as a blow came towards its head and broke the skull it contain, taking with it the corrupted soul within. 

Er-Galadh turned to look at the sender of the final blow. Firiel was standing there, no mercy in her eyes. _Had these orcs known her?_ Er-Galadh pondered. _Did her father's death left a scar, impossible to mend? _These questions he had no courage to ask. Not in the condition that they were in. The questions were too personal, so instead, he asked, "Why did you stop me only to kill it yourself?"

Firiel looked at Er-Galadh as though she was expecting the question. "Because I prefer a silent kill," she responded icily. Er-Galadh looked at her in disbelief. He could not believe what he heard from her. _What did she meant by that? _he wondered. But soon enough his doubt was answered.

Orcs were coming from either side of them. Firiel swore inwardly. _They must have heard the one that you kill, _Firiel said exasperatedly.

__

It was not I who killed the orc, Er-Galadh replied as he prepared his bow.

__

Go back, she signalled as she ran towards the shadow once more. Er-Galadh followed her. Behind, he could hear the footsteps nearing. Once they were in the shadow they could see the number of orcs approaching. _Six from one side and five from the other. Not bad_. Firiel turned to look at Er-Galadh and he nodded in agreement. They watched as the orcs searched around the vicinity. 

Firiel smiled as the orcs spread around the area. She walked forward slowly towards the nearest orc. Slowly, she crept towards the orc, her staff high in her hand when suddenly an orc noticed her presence. She sent the blow, killing the intended victim but the others were informed of her presence. She turned around to face the orcs around her, arrows flying everywhere, presumably from Er-Galadh as no one else has bow or arrow with them. She moved towards them, avoiding the tips of their blades. 

Er-Galadh watched in desperation as she walked forward to fought the orcs. He could not come closer in fear of hurting her for her movement was quick. Too quick, he feared that he might shoot her in mistake. He opted for shooting the furthest orc while watching her in the corner of his eyes. 

Her move was always defensive; as she did not possessed a weapon to matched the blades of the orcs. She moved away from the entire blow that was sent to her and attacked only when the danger passed. Her move was graceful as one by one the orcs started to fall. The staff in her hand was more than a mere weapon. She was so adept at it that the staff has became the extension of her limb. 

Soon enough her move became offensive. This was merely the beginning for her. The orcs has lost their morale and she took the advantage from it, sending her move before the orcs could reply. The result could soon be seen as the lifeless bodies of the orcs lie around her in heaps. She motioned Er-Galadh to come closer as she inspected the orcs. 

Er-Galadh looked closer. The attack unfortunately has created a lot of noise. It was impossible to kill all of them otherwise. He walked towards her, his asked doubted their safety but she merely smiled. _Nothing to worry about, Er-Galadh. There are no other orcs nearby. _She ran forward and he followed her. She obviously knew what she was doing more so than him. She knew the place better than him in any case and it also seemed that she knew where the orcs were positioned. 

He nearly bumped into her as she abruptly stopped again, hiding behind a tree_. Orcs in front. I think there should be four of them. We are in luck. _

Er-Galadh took out his sword this time. _Let me, _he said as he walked forward silently but Firiel held him back. He turned around to see her eyes squarely. 

There was fear there. Fear for his safety but she suppressed them and whispered, "I will also come. Remember. Kill silently. There are three other groups of orcs nearby. We cannot risk it now." Er-Galadh nodded and they separated, taking the orcs from their back.

Firiel was an assassin. Her move was so quick, the orcs did not even noticed they died as their lifeless body reached the ground while Er-Galadh worked on the other two orcs. He killed the first one with a blow to the back of its neck. He examined the dead orc and, being pleased with his work, crept up to the next one. He grabbed the orc's head with one of this hand, muffling its mouth while his other hand reached for his sword and finished the task. He let the body dropped and looked up to see Firiel smiling in approval at him. 

They walked again in silence, following the sound created by the battle nearby. The sounds were getting stronger and in the midst of their excitement, Firiel forgot the way around and encountered a band of orcs that were fighting against a group of elves. Some of the orcs spotted their uninvited guest and made it their business to eradicate these intruders. 

An orc came charging at Firiel with its blade. The blade was double pointed and it was attached to either side of the middle blade. She grimaced as an image flashed through her mind and jumped aside in time before the top of the weapon collided with her body. Fixing the orcs in her gaze, she tried to find the weakness of this orc when she heard a footstep behind her. Turning her head slightly, she could see an orc came towards her. She did not have enough time to make out its weapon but whatever it was, she could see that the orc were aiming at her neck. She turned her head back towards the other orc in front of her, seeing it charging also towards her. She counted the possibility of having the two orcs attacking themselves but scowled as one orc was positioned closer than the other. 

She stood facing the orc in front of her but her mind was reeling, listening to the footsteps behind her. If she was correct, the orc behind her should attack before the orc in front of her. She waited patiently and held her breath. One wrong move and she would be gone. The orcs were coming closer and closer, her ears strained to hear the movement. The orcs breathing were getting on her nerve. _Why can't they breathe silently, _she mulled to herself when suddenly the time was right. 

She ducked unexpectedly, missing the orc's attack and sending it off balance. The orc could not stop its movement and crashed into her. The movement nearly send her sprawling to the ground but she rolled away just before her body reached the hard ground. The orc though, found its face on the ground nonetheless. She looked up and saw that the orc that was charging in front of her had stopped its move before crashing headlong to its comrade. 

__

Damn, she swore inwardly. _Why can't they all be dumb and follow each other precisely? _The orc turned around, ignoring its fallen comrade and charged once more. This time, Firiel was ready to attack. Her staff in her hand, she felt more confident than ever. She ducked as the orc swung its blade at her neck level and jumped as the angry orc tried to detach her legs. 

The orcs charged forward and she ran back, its blade ever pointed towards her. Firiel could not look at the direction that she was heading until she founded herself crashing into a tree behind. Steadying her ringing head, she did not realise the attack that the orc made. It threw its shield at her, it bent end locking her head to the trunk of the tree. Seeing that its prey could not escaped, it charged one last time.

Firiel tried to move the shield desperately as the orc came closer and closer towards her. She could not even budge the darn thing. It has lodged itself nice and firmly against the tree trunk. She shifted her gaze from the shield to the orc before her, trying to find a way to steal more time than what was presented to her. She counted the moment again, hating every second of it. The orc came running. One step, two steps, and then it came. 

Her hands grabbed the shield and hoisted herself up. She swung both her legs forward and kicked the orc right in the chest just a millimetre before the tip of the blade crushed her head. The orc fell; back first to the ground, revealing another orc, the one that tried to kill her from the back before, aiming its arrow at her. She tried to yank the shield frantically. Fear gave her strength that she thought she did not had and the shield budged. She desperately pulled the shield free but it was too late. She could see the arrow heading towards her. Even if she could free herself, she was one step behind. The arrow would hit her before she could avoid it. She knew there was no hope but she struggled nevertheless. The shield was off the trunk but the arrow was too close. She closed her eyes in anticipation. 

A stabbing noise came as the arrow tore through a target, a flesh. Yet with it came not a pain. Firiel opened her eyes to be met with a grotesque, mutilated face of an orc. Its eyes were opened wide in shock and Firiel recognised it as the orc whom the shield belonged to. It did not realise the coming arrow and stood up just in time to break the arrow's path. Pushing it aside, she was greeted by yet another arrow. She moved aside but not fast enough as the arrow cut passed the skin on her face though it did not leave a deep wound. Taking her staff from the ground, she ran from side to side, trying to confuse the orc while trying to get closer to it.

The orc knew her purpose and started to run back. Firiel cried in desperation and threw the shield at it in attempt to distract it but it was no use. She threw the shield straight at the orc's head. The shield created such a strong force that the impact killed the orc instantly.

She sighed as gladness took over her. She needed a better weapon, quick. She inspected the orc, trying to find a sword. Or a blade. Anything. Turning the orc around, she found nothing of a kind. She screamed in anguish, not caring whether there was any orc nearby. And there was. She could hear the harsh breathing and the footsteps it created. But she did not care. She groped the dead orc still; taking away the footwear it wore. Yanking it free furiously, she founded a small knife, hidden within. _How lucky, _she thought bitterly. _This orc was one of mine. It was, but no more._

Taking the stolen knife she turned around to face another orc, breathing straight at her face. But she was ready and before the orc blinked, a knife was embedded deep in its face, through one of the yellow orb it contained within. The orc staggered back, tears dropping from it uninjured eye. Holding the hilt of the knife, it sought to pull it free but its movement stopped half way as a blow came on top of its head, cracking its skull, ending its misery forever.

She looked sadly at the knife. She would never use the weapon again and so she started to look for anything that this orc had. She was luckier this time, though for she found a sword. Not the one that she would preferably use but it was better than any type of blade that she could possibly find in such condition. Grabbing the sword, she ran back to the fighting scene where she last left Er-Galadh.

As she walked back, she found that they had defeated all the orcs that were nearby. Panting, she started to find Er-Galadh. It was not too hard of a task for the elves mainly wore a different garb to those that Er-Galadh wore for he was the only elf that came from Mirkwood then.

She found Er-Galadh walking around, inspecting the dead bodies around him. His body was covered in blood and a miserable look was on his face. She called out to him softly, trying not to surprised him. He looked up immediately, his eyes searching amongst the crowds of elves around him. It locked it gaze to hers soon enough and gladness crept in his face as he ran towards her. Taking her face in his hand he examine the small wound she received before kissing her lightly. "I was so worried," he said as he pulled away from her. "But it seemed that I have worried for nothing."

Firiel grimaced as she remembered her near death experience but decided not to further worry him. He was stricken enough as he was. Instead she opted at looking for the leader of this group. She must report the fact that Sauron has left the place.

Er-Galadh followed her, knowing what they must do. He was sure that she could find him easily enough. And easily enough she found him. "Lord Elrond," she exclaimed. "I would never guess." Elrond must have heard her for he turned around. Their eyes met for a second and he walked towards her, a confused look on his face.

"Who are you?" He was not informed that there was a woman amongst his groups. 

"I am the apprentice of Radagast. Have you forgotten me so easily?" she asked in amusement as she remembered that she had not been formally introduced.

He examined her and the elf next to her closely. He remembered the black robe she wore though it was torn and raged now. He nodded in approval. "Then you have done your task," he spoke, mentioning the elf next to her.

"Aye, my Lord. But I am also here to bring another news." she hesitated for a while, not knowing how she should deliver the message but Elrond did not interrupt her and she continued. "The master of Dol Guldur, Sauron, has left the battle."

Shock was written all over his face as he heard the message but he still stayed calm. "What makes you created such assumption?" he asked, not believing her.

"I saw him leave with my own eyes, my Lord. He left with his servants, the Ulairi."

"Is this true?" he asked himself. "Then all of this is for nothing. What of the forces from Mirkwood?" he asked, addressing the two elves again.

"They are yet to arrive, my Lord," Er-Galadh answered. Elrond looked at him bewildered.

"It is my task to deliver the message first. I am, after all a messenger in this battle." 

Elrond looked at her fully for the first time. "Then you have done your task exceptionally well. It is unfortunate that what you have achieved is for nothing. Come, we must inform the other of this state we are in." And with that he ordered the rest of the surviving elves and left.

Firiel followed him. She looked around and saw Er-Galadh beside her. _No, _she thoughtand smiled. _Not for nothing, my Lord._

AN: Ok, that's basically less than what I hoped to achieved but if I continue, it's gonna be too long so I have to cut it short again. Next chapter will have another battle scene in it so stay tuned. I hope you like that one. Plz tell me if there's anything I can improve on…


	20. Night Interlude

AN: Chapter 20 is like a middle chapter doesn't it? Well, I just want to spend some time now to thank all who read and supported this story. Linmenel, Tintale, Megolas and Wyrd_sista187. You guys encouraged me a lot with all those reviews! Thanks heaps! This chapter is dedicated to you guys!

Ok, this chapter has no battle in it whatsoever. I think I need a little break from the massive battle on the last chapter (though I still think it's rather short). Anyway, this is basically more on development of character than anything else really, especially on Firiel. 

And, umm… all the speech in this story has been delivered either in Common or in Black Speech. I just realised that elvish never been used before and this story revolves around elves! OMG! How stupid does that sound?

So, I think I'm gonna give them a go. Plz tell me if it's wrong 'coz the grammar is really hard! So *_italic*_ is to explain the meaning though I won't use hard elvish. I just hope they're right. If it's not in elvish they're using Common. Firiel and Er-Galadh do this.

Chapter 20: Night Interlude

Firiel sat under an oak tree, looking at the stars above. Tomorrow, they would be outside of Mirkwood. Then she would meet her master again and cast her last glance at her love. But tonight, she was his and his alone. Sighed, she looked down. Er-Galadh was standing opposite her, talking to the other elves nearby. She could never talk to them. Her conscience stopped her from doing so. Or maybe it was her guilt. _Oh, to Mordor with my guilt_, she swore vehemently. _I did nothing to those elves anyway. They don't live in Mirkwood. It is to Er-Galadh that I should feel guilty…. Nay,_ she cast her eyes down. _I have paid for what I did and I nearly done so with my life. Isn't that enough? Why can't I just live the rest of my life in peace? It's not like it was my choice…_ She sighed. Perhaps it hers was after all.

__

A hand held her shoulder lightly and she looked up. Lord Elrond was sitting next to her, his gaze fixed at her, concerned. "Are you wounded, apprentice of Radagast?"

Firiel knew that he was implying to her arm for although it was well covered, she was holding it tightly to stifle the pain. During the battle, she had forgotten about it totally. The fear of the battle outweigh the pain it inflicted but now that she was save, the pain came back with full force. Perhaps even stronger for the battle must have opened the wound once more. Smiling weakly at him, she nodded. "Aye, my Lord. I fear that I was not careful enough."

Taking her arm in his hand, he opened the cloth that bound the wound and examined it thoroughly. "How did you receive this?" he asked, shocked at the depth of the wound that penetrate through her arm. 

"The sword was sharp, my Lord," Firiel answered. She could not tell the truth for to do so would lead to her explaining more that what she was willing to.

"So it seems," he replied. "I can heal it though you must not use it for a while. I suggest that you do not fight in this battle anymore." 

Firiel nodded in agreement. "I won't. Thank you, Lord Elrond."

Er-Galadh looked passed the elf in front of him. The elves were still talking to him, but his mind was not in the conversation. He just found out that they should reached the border of Mirkwood by the noon tomorrow which meant that tomorrow would be their last day together. The shock as he realised this threw him away. 

He looked at Firiel across. Elrond was tending her wound, it seemed. The two also deep in conversation. Sighed, he focussed all his attention at the elf in front of him. 

Elrond bound the wound once more with a new cloth after treating it with the appropriate ointment. Looking at Firiel, he noticed her leaf-shaped ears and curiosity entered his heart. "Lle edhel?" _*Are you an elf?* _he asked in elvish, thinking that she should understand him should he was right.

Firiel raised her eyebrow at the sudden change. She understood the language for those books that she must learn under the care of Radagast were mostly written in elvish. She was also shocked at the unexpected interest of her heredity but she answered him nonetheless. "Uma, heru en amin. Amin peredhel. Ataramin nae othar en Gondor ar' nir'gwaith quene tanya atara en amin nae Moriquendi." _*Yes, my Lord. I am half-elven. My father was a knight of Gondor and many said that my mother was a Moriquendi.*_

__

Was a knight of Gondor, Elrond thought. Those words delivered an unspoken meaning. He sighed and smiled sadly at her. "Rina caela estar…" _*Remember to have some rest…*_

"Firiel, heru en amin." *_Firiel, my Lord.*_

Elrond smiled as he heard her name. Her mother must have given her that name. "Kaima eithel, arwen Firiel. Tul're, lle au'omentuva yassen Radagast." _*Sleep well, lady Firiel. Tomorrow, you will meet with Radagast again.*_ She nodded and Elrond left her side. 

Looking towards Er-Galadh once more, she saw him talking still to the elves. Thinking that she should left him alone for now, she stood up and climbed the oak tree, ready to do what Lord Elrond bid her to do.

She was asleep when Er-Galadh climbed the tree. The slight movement of the branch woke her up. She always been a light sleeper and having lived in dangerous vicinity for as long as she could remember, sleeping was not something she could exult in. Every movement, however slight, woke her up. She never could have enough sleep.

Er-Galadh walked lightly on the branch she was on. She opened one of her eyes to make sure, peeking just below the lid. She saw what she expected to see and smiling, she opened both her eyes fully.

"Were you asleep?" he asked, threading his way closer to her.

"Yes I was but it does not matter. I would rather be with you that left alone with my mind." She crossed the small gap between them and he wound his arm around her.

"Do you realise that tomorrow we must part?" He kissed her hair, filling his mind with her heady scent. If they must part, he wanted to keep this essence of her forever. 

"Must you remind me of it?" she asked, hurt, though she held herself closer to him. "Leave it till the sun arise. I want to spend our last moment in happiness."

"Is it truly impossible for you to leave Radagast and live in Mirkwood?" he asked, still could not pass the thought from his mind.

"Would you… could you leave Mirkwood and live with me?" she asked in return. "I doubted that you could. Your loyalty, your family, your life, everything lies in Mirkwood. With me, though I do not have anything anymore, I owe Radagast my life. He saved me once and I owe him that much. While my heart belongs to you, my life is in his hand." She glanced away from him and looked into the sky. "Tomorrow, when we part I am no longer a whole person. How can I live with only a half of me, no longer whole? For my heart will stay in Mirkwood whilst I am else where." She lowered her gaze to meet his and locked it there. "How can I live anymore, Er-Galadh? Tell me."

Er-Galadh did not answer right away. The speech that she delivered was unlooked for. Firiel waited although she did not know what she expected from him. She did not expect anything from him, knowing that it was perhaps impossible to answer her question. She distanced herself from him and sat down on the branch. After a while of silence, she relented, "Worry not, Er-Galadh. You do not need to answer that."

She waited as Er-Galadh sat down next to her. In the corner of her eyes, she saw him shook his head and heaved a sigh. She felt a comforting weight on her shoulder and she swivelled her head. He smiled and to her surprise, he spoke, "If your heart belongs to me, then let me give you mine thus we will both be whole though not as a person but as two halves joined together. That way, I will always be with you as you will be with me."

A tear dropped from her eyes as she heard him said those words and by the end of it he took her face in his hand and kissed the corner of her eyes. "Hush. You did not cry when the arrow pierced through your arm. Come now, Firiel. What would you rather have me say?" he asked, trying to cheer her up. 

She dried her eyes and smiled, "Nothing else," she whispered as she laid her head on his shoulder. "Amin mela lle." 

Holding her close, he squeezed her arm gently and said, " Tira, melamin. Elemmire!" _*Look, my love. Elemmire!*_

She sighed as she heard the use of elvish. She knew that he was aware of her knowledge of the language. At least she knew little from what he taught her many years ago. What made him think that she still remembered them that were what she did not know yet she answered nonetheless. "It is beautiful, as always," she sighed.

Er-Galadh looked down to see his beloved. Smiling, he kissed her temple and whispered against her ear, "You are my Elemmire, eternally beautiful in my eyes."

"So it is Elemmire now, is it?" she asked, half in jest.

Er-Galadh frowned, not getting what she meant by it. She laughed at his paused and all of a sudden he understood. "N'uma lirimaer. Lle i'mela en' coiamin, tinuial en amin." _*No, lovely one. You are the love of my life, my spark of twilight.*_

"I see," she said, still teasing him. "So it has not change?"

"Nay," he laughed. "Nay." Suddenly he stood up. Firiel looked at him questioningly. "We must rest, Firiel. As much as I want you not to find your strength to continue our journey tomorrow, it cannot be so. You cannot rest fully up here."

"Where then?" she asked before scrambling to her feet. "I do not have strength left to move," she reasoned.

"No?" he asked, his eyes gleamed mischievously. "Very well than." and with that he scooped her up. Firiel gasped in surprise and her hand circled his neck instinctively. Seeing that she was safe, he jumped skilfully from one branch to another towards the ground. He landed there, softly. The elves had made their encampment for the night and he walked to the nearby elf who greeted him warmly.

"Arwen Firiel, sinome, merne kaima de eller e' i'orn." *_Lady Firiel, here, wanted to sleep up there in the tree,* _he answered the elf's question. 

The elf laughed. He inspected the two closely before saying, "Share my place. I will go to my Lord and ask for another one."

Thanking him, Er-Galadh entered the tent and laid her down to the ground before propping himself next to her. He caressed her face softly. She smiled and brought his face to hers, kissing him passionately, her other hand encircled his body and pressed it down against her. He went down willingly, his hand could not stop caressing her face. 

Pulling away from the kiss, he laid next to her. Firiel turned around and he held her close, his hand caressed her back gently. Her mouth sought his and held it in a passionate kiss before tracing down his neck. His breathing hardened. Slowly, his hand travelled down her body but he stopped it straight away. His body stiffened and he shut his eyes, trying to suppress the desire that burned his blood.

She felt him stiffened and all of a sudden she realised what she did. "I'm sorry, Er-Galadh, "she whispered huskily. "I am so selfish."

Er-Galadh was about to contradict her but she continued, "Don't say that I am not because I know I am. Truth is, I'm selfish when it comes to you," she sobbed. "I'm so jealous towards everyone that share your life because I can't. I'm jealous to Alfirin, her mother, even… even to Legolas for he can see you anytime he wish while I can never hold you in my eyes ever again. Your face will become a memory again and someday, even that will disappear. I will gain nothing from this but a bitter sweet memory…"

She stopped as her sobs racked through her body. Er-Galadh held her close and ran his fingers through her hair. He kissed her face, catching every tear from her eyes. It tasted salt in his mouth. Perhaps this too, he would remember from her.

Firiel stopped crying. Lying there in his arm, she drew on his warmth. She heard him sighed before his mouth traced down her neck. Exulting in the sensation he gave, her hand slipped underneath his tunic and caressed him. He pulled away from her and kissed her on the mouth while his hand touched her lightly. 

She felt him, though, and pulled away from the kiss and he saw again the fear in her eyes. "I won't hurt you." He looked straight to her eyes and smile reassuringly. 

There were fears again there but she smiled back. "I trust you," she murmured softly. 

He took her chin in his hand gently and turned it towards him before kissing her again, this time deeper and more passionate than ever. The kiss took her attention as she returned it with equal passion. In its own accord, her body started to yearn for his touch and she could not control it. She wanted him to touch her desperately. And as though he could read her mind, her robe was cast off and his hand roamed her body, conjuring sensations. She moaned in pleasure and pulled away from him, gasping for breath. His lips travelled down her neck to her body.

He pleasured her tenderly. She was submissive yet yearning but he could tell that she was scared. He tried to roll away while bringing her so she would be on top of him, but she refused. She kissed him, trying to distract him from his initial intention but he pulled her away. 

Her eyes were glazed. She was somewhere else, deep in her memory. Er-Galadh wondered at what caused such great pain. Looking at her fearful face, he decided to intrude her mind. Holding her against his chest, he placed his chin above her head and closed his eyes.

First, there was mere darkness around him. Focussing with all his will, he connected his mind with hers. The surrounding darkness parted, revealing a room. It was, he recognised, a room in an inn. He looked around. In the bed laid a couple. Or so it first seemed to him but as he looked closer, it was Firiel. Her face showed the same fear she showed him. A man was lying on top of her, pinning her down.

His blood burned with rage as the man laughed at her tears. "No, don't," she pleaded only to make his laugh louder. The man was naked waist down. He traced down her face and without warning, he seared right through her, tearing her apart. She shrieked in agony, tears cascaded down her face. He stood up and gathered his clothes, leaving her in pain. Blood seeped between her legs and passed through the white sheet, turning it red but he took no care of her.

"Help," she whimpered. "Oh, please help me."

Useless. But the man turned around. Looking at her broken body, he spat at her face. "Elves. Look at you, so pathetic. You're worthless!" And with that he stormed out from the room.

Everything went dark again and nothing else happened. For a moment, Er-Galadh decided to leave when another scene appeared around him again. This time it was not an inn but it was definitely another room. A very messy room with broken glass everywhere along with any other fragments of furniture. And sprawling naked and bruised on the floor was a woman. _No. Please let it not be her, _he pleaded. He could not tell who she was for her hair covered her face. But it was black, as dark as a starless night sky. Her breathing was quick with cuts all over her body.

He turned around and saw a man. The man, he realised, that raped Firiel many years ago. This time, the man was stark naked. He was sitting on top of a bed. "Is that enough or do you want more? Come here and finish your job."

The woman looked up and Er-Galadh saw that it was Firiel. She was different, changed. More like Firiel that he knew now than 3000 years ago. The hardship she bore marked her. "Never!" she screamed but before she could say anything else the man was already in front of her. His foot found its way to her stomach. He kicked her hard. Once, twice. Three times. He smiled as he watched her retched. Blood spilled from her mouth. "Kill me!" she screamed with the strength she had left.

"No, no," he replied, smiling as he made his way back to the bed. "You have to pay for what I gave you. No one else would have you, whore! What would you do without me? You don't have shelter, no money. I gave you those, now you have to pay for it. Who would want you anyway? You're mine. Death will be an easy way out for you, won't it? No."

"You may own my body but I'm not yours," she retorted back.

"Get back here!" he roared. "Or do you still want more?"

Er-Galadh watched, helpless, as Firiel scrambled up and crawled back towards the bed. A painfully slow progress as she fell every now and then but the man simply watched in amusement. Er-Galadh watched her clambered to the bed and on top of him.

It took him a great restrain not to move for he knew there was no use. He could not touch them but they would not feel a thing. Nothing would be change no matter what he decided to do.

Firiel closed her eyes, ready for the pain to come. When it came she cried an ear-splitting cry, screaming like an animal in agony. The man threw her aside, caring nothing of her. She did not cry though blood started to appeared between her legs again. "That's for disobeying me." And with that he left.

The door opened and closed. She listened as the footsteps disappeared before letting out a raking sob. She did not move. She could not move. Her body was battered, bruised, and bloodied. Er-Galadh could take it no longer. He went to the ruined mess. Lying down next to her, he held her tenderly; trying to lessen the pain though he knew it was of no use. He kissed her every wound, hearing her sobbed softly in the silence of the night. "My love," he whispered, a single tear rolled down from his eye. Placing himself above her, he took care not to touch her bruised body and kissed her neck before gently, he penetrate through her. 

In her mind and reality.

A gasp sent him back to reality. Firiel was lying on top of him, their bodies joined. "You know," she murmured. A statement but he nodded nonetheless. She smiled, kissed him lightly and whispered against his lips, "I love you. I am yours, Er-Galadh. Take me."

That was all it took. He screamed in ecstasy, a muffled cry, as liquid fire engulfed him. Firiel shook on top of him and moaned against his neck as tidal waves washed them delirious. Unbearable pleasure shot through them, encompassing them in its blinding light. They were released. 

The two elves lie down, panting in the aftermath of their lovemaking. Firiel was pillowed on his chest, listening to his heart beat slowing. He kissed the crown of her head, watching her move up and down with his every breath. He held her tightly yet gently, feeling more contented than he had ever been in his life. Her hand reached out to him, their fingers interlocking. He heard her sighed and she whispered, breaking the silence between them, "You saw him, did you not?"

Er-Galadh groan in irritation though he replied, "Must we speak of it now? Yes, I saw him and what he did to you. Why did you come with him?"

"Because what he said was true. I am impure and worthless. No one would want me and I had nothing with me. He gave me a place to live and I have to pay it with my body." A tear rolled down her face and dropped to his chest. "He was right. I am worthless. So many times did I try to end this life but he would found me and stopped me. I could do nothing."

Er-Galadh laid her aside and inspected her closely. He saw all her scars again. Some were small and nearly impossible to see but some were deep and long. Those were the one he saw before but now that he concentrated on it, he could see that her body was covered in them. Not just her body, but her limbs as well. She was covered in them. "Did he always treated you like that?"

She shook her head. "Some night I could not care less and if I complied to him, the night would be quite…painless." Er-Galadh looked at her confused. "You are the only person I've ever loved in my life. The only one I desired. Every time he touched me, I tried to imagine that it was you, not him, there. Though I could not pictured you, I could imagined your presence and it would made everything bearable."

"I should have not leave you." He caressed her face and wound his arm around her, trying to protect her from an unseen spectre. The ghost of her past. "I could've saved you all these pains. Now…how can I ever make up for you?"

"You don't have to. It was my decision, not yours." She drew close to him and kissed him. "Love me, Er-Galadh, one last time. I want it to last forever."

And he did. That last time, it was the expression of their feelings, their souls. It mingled and bonded as they soared higher and higher, reaching the unbearable. Silver curtain covered their faces as they kissed passionately before their bodies united in the darkness of the night.

__


	21. Battle Under The Shade Of Mirkwood

AN: Here are another battle scene guys though it won't be that long (hopefully). Along with this would be the end of the battle of Dol Guldur. Hope you'll like it… 

Umm… just a little input. In the end, try listening to the song of Final Fantasy X in the scene where Tidus and Yuna were in the lake. It sort of make the atmosphere better. Well, enjoy…

Chapter 21: Battle Under The Shade Of Mirkwood

Firiel looked back at the tower of Dol Guldur, looming in the horizon. The tower that had given her so many memories, so many pains. The memories haunted her. Such memories that would stay with her forever. She sighed and looked away. She examined her sword to distract herself. The sword was given to her from the elves and she had abandoned the blade that she found in one of the orc. 

She held the guard of the sword and, facing the tip to the ground, she pushed it firmly. The sword bent at the slightest and she shook her head. It was a very nice sword for many but not for her. _Too rigid,_ she thought but there was truly nothing that she could do. The sword being in her possession was luck in itself. 

Er-Galadh smiled as he saw Firiel examining the sword. He walked towards her and wound his arm around her. She looked up at him and smiled. "Do you like the sword?" he asked, taking the sword from her and traced his finger down the blade. "It's just like you, you know. Beautifully intricate. You are beautiful yet deadly. Your soul tempered in the fire of the forge and just like it you both came out finer that ever."

"Hmm… I'll take that as a compliment," she spoke, a hint of smile on her face. 

Er-Galadh raised his eyebrows. "You don't really like the sword?" 

"Not…really," she said truthfully. "But then again, the sword I like would be hard to come by."

"Hmm, a picky costumer." Firiel laughed in agreement. An elf came to them to tell of their departure. Telling him that they are ready, they went to the rest of the company and resumed their journey.

Lord Elrond led the company but she did not argue figuring that he should know the way after all. Following him, she realised that she has somehow ended up in the middle of the company. It seemed that Elrond sought to protect her and she was thankful for it. Travelling with the elves reminded her how fast their journey was with the company of wood-elves. Travelling with Er-Galadh had been slow mainly because of the interruptions along the way.

Abruptly, the company stopped as an elf shouted behind her. "Orcs behind!" She turned around, her sword in her hand. Firstly, she could saw nothing but she could hear the footsteps. The elves hold their ground, ready for the attack. The elves behind her readied their arrow while those before her took out their sword. Her eyes wandered around, looking at Er-Galadh. She found him, standing a little way behind her; his bow was raised with an arrow placed within. Behind him, the trees ended. How close they were on leaving this accursed place.

Reaching to the back of her mind, she tried to grasp the old and forgotten skill that she had once possessed. She closed her eyes to concentrate more. Slowly, the darkness around her started to glow red. She nearly leapt up in happiness. She still could use it. Slowly, she started to search darkness. She searched endlessly and she found it. A group of them. Her heart nearly stopped in dismay. There were many of them. She observed the darkness carefully. It started to part. She waited suspiciously. Something was amiss. The orc sought to surround them. She could not risk it.

"Move back," she ordered, knowing that the trees would be to the orcs' advantage. Through the elves, she could see Elrond looking at her, considering her suggestion. "My Lord, if we stay here the orcs would gain more advantage than if we fight in the open. The end of the wood is behind us. Let us go out first, my Lord, hence forcing them to abandon whatever plan they had in mind."

She waited worriedly as Elrond thought over her suggestion. He nodded in agreement after a while. "Uma mani arwen Firiel quene. Bela n'alaquel!" *Do what lady Firiel said. Move back!*

Firiel watched the elves moved anxiously. "You can sense them, can you not?" a voice whispered next to her. She turned around and saw Elrond on her side. She nodded. "Radagast told me about you," he spoke. Her eyes widened in shock. "Do not worry. I bear no grudge against you. I could not have done any better in your position."

"But I could, my Lord," she said, her voice full of regret. "I could." Seeing that the rest of the elves had left the place, she ran after them, leaving Elrond in confusion.

The rest of the elves left the wood. No sooner than that did an arrow started to fall amongst them. One of them passed through her ears. A slight move will ensure her death. "Keep running," she screamed as she saw an elf fell beside her. She wanted to run towards it but saw the arrow sticking in the back of his head. _Too late_, she thought and kept running away from the wood.

The rain of arrows lessened after a while until none could reach them. She turned around, her eyes pierced through the leaves that protected Mirkwood and saw the orcs. They snarled dangerously, not wanting to let them go so easily but they knew that should they came after the elves, their life might as well be the price. Thinking that it would be better for them not to do anything yet, they stayed in the wood, daring the company to come closer. 

But the company did not. Their destination laid in the wood no more. Running towards the plain, Firiel caught up with Er-Galadh once more. He was holding his arm. Firiel looked at his injured arm. There was no arrow in it. _Perhaps the arrow passed through it, _she thought. He noticed her presence beside him and turned around. Her eyes asked of his condition silently. He smiled, showing her that he was fine and resumed with the journey.

Soon enough they reached the encampment. Placed in the middle of the plain, it was not the best of place but seeing that the orcs were afraid to leave their base it was sufficient enough. Her eyes wandered around as she tried to find her master, Radagast. It was hard to find him in the middle of a rather big company. 

She had not find him when Lord Elrond already asked for her attendance. She followed the messenger elf towards a tent and went inside. Elrond was there, along with Saruman, Gandalf, and amongst them was the man she sought. She went to the man clad in brown and bowed before him before returning to the company. 

Gandalf looked at her and smiled. "I think it is time you reveal yourself, Firiel."

Firiel frowned in uncertainty when she realised that her hood was drawn. Nodding once, she lowered the hood, revealing her scarred face. 

"Truly amongst us, it is only you who have not seen her face, Mithrandir," Radagast spoke and then turned to her. "I see you have acquired a new scar."

Firiel smiled and said, "Aye. It seemed that unfortunate events followed me wherever I go but I believe that I had not been summoned for a mere conversation." 

"You are very perceptive, Firiel," Saruman said, his voice was serious. "We have received your message on the withdrawal of Sauron and his servants. We have called you for you are the one who posses most knowledge with these orcs."

"You sought to destroy Dol Guldur?" she asked. Her voice was as cold as ice.

"Do you agree?" Gandalf asked.

"No one sane enough would agree to your plan." She sounded like she was commenting on the weather. 

Elrond stare at her, appalled. Radagast warned her silently with his gaze. Looking at Saruman, she could tell that it was his plan to do this. She understood what Radagast tried to warn her and she nodded slightly to inform him of it. But it was Gandalf that first broke the silence. "Explain yourself, apprentice of Radagast."

His voice carried no anger or resentment, only slight amusement and perhaps great relief. Looking around the company, she spoke, "The master of the tower has gone. Our main task was, and still is, to stop Sauron and rid of him forever from Middle-earth. Now, it is obvious that we cannot do so. To destroy the tower will cost us many forces and for what? The orcs are at their best defending their home and they know of our presence. To even try to enter the tower is a suicide mission. There is little chance that it will succeed and if it does, the cost will not be cheap."

The tent grew silent at the end of her speech. Her words rang true in their mind yet they could not risk Sauron using the tower again. Radagast expressed this to her. She listened to him meticulously, her mind reeling with ideas. She nodded every now and then, understanding their fears perhaps better than any of them. The evilness of the place had once lived and nestled inside of her and she knew what it was capable of doing. 

In the end, she said, "The decision is in your hands. I am merely your servant, here to do your will. Whatever your decision will be, I will help it to the best of my ability. I can tell you where most of the orcs should be positioned and what is best to attack them but even then, I cannot guaranty a victory especially because our strength does not lay under the trees and theirs are."

"But we must try," Elrond decided. "At least try. If we fail than we will not continue with this anymore."

Everyone in the room looked at him. A different expression marked their faces but in the end they all agreed to his proposal. Firiel told them all she knew about the defence in Dol Guldur and before long, their plan was made, but it seemed that the orcs had made up their mind faster than this company.

It was already dark when an elf stormed inside the tent. "My Lord, the orcs are heading towards us with their full force."

"Prepare yourself," Elrond ordered. "If it is fight they want then it is what they will get."

The company parted. As soon as they leave the tent, Firiel ran away as fast as possible. Only one thing was in her mind. She must find Er-Galadh, if only to make sure that he was all right. The orcs were close. She could not find him. Instead, she found an arrow flying towards her. She jumped aside in surprise, just in time to evade the attack. 

Turning around, she saw the orc that shot her arrow and she ran towards it with a snarl that contested even those of orcs. The orcs lowered its bow and fitted an arrow but before he could do anything else his bow was dropped to the ground as it cried in agony. The orc was clutching its arm. Blood flowed readily from it. It heard footsteps coming towards it. Looking up, it saw the person it sought to kill before a sword went through its neck. 

Firiel did not looked up from the orc as she pulled out her sword and made a wide arc. Blood spluttered at her face but she did not need to look up as the body of another orc fell before her. She ran forward, facing another enemy. 

One by one the orcs collapsed before her yet something was amiss and she knew it. These orcs were too easy to defeat. It was as though they were trying to lose. Looking up, she saw that she was very near with the wood. The first tree loomed above her dangerously. Suddenly realising the orcs' tactic, she cried, "Bela n'alaquel!" as she ran back towards the plain, trying to inform every elves without warning the orcs that their plan was discovered. Soon enough she found that she was right. Bows sang as rain of arrows started to fall thickly. The orcs turned around and started to fought back as many more orcs started to charged forward from the wood, trying to finish the unguarded elves.

Firiel ran back, avoiding the arrows and the assault from the orcs as elves fell around her. She watched, powerless as an arrow fell from the sky and killed an elf beside her. A sword headed towards her unexpectedly in the corner of her eyes. She turned around and found that she was surrounded by orcs. The only way out was behind her, towards the wood, the trap. Taking her chance, she started to ran back to where she came from. _This was my home, _she told herself. _Home… _

Running back, she saw another elf heading the same way beside her. She risked it and turned her head the slightest to see the elf beside her. Silver hair flown in the air, the hair which scent she knew so well. "Er-Galadh!" she exclaimed and Er-Galadh looked back at her.

__

He ran closer to her. At least now they were not alone. They ran in the winding path of the woods. The trees proved to be to their advantage as it break the arrows path from reaching them. Making sure that they had lost the orcs, Er-Galadh climbed up a tree, followed closely by Firiel. There, Er-Galadh shot the orcs that came nearby while bidding their time. 

Midnight already passed and dawn was nearing when the battle sound ceased and silent evade the wood once more. The two went down, thankful that they were still alive. Looking around they saw bodies lying everywhere, mostly elves. Blood was everywhere, red against green. They stopped every now and then, hoping that there were someone that they could help but they were too late. Most of the elves died an instant death. Reaching the wood was, like Firiel had said, a suicide mission. The orc won this battle, for now. 

The two looked around, walking silently when, suddenly, Fi sensed an orc in the corner of her mind. Turning back, she saw the orc was aiming at them. Yet it did not realised that anything was amiss. It was concentrating only at Er-Galadh. Realising this, Firiel moved behind him, shielding his body with hers and cast a spell though she knew that it was too late. The spell makes it through and killed the orcs but the arrow was released from its bow, missing its intended target. But it hit an enemy nevertheless.

Er-Galadh turned around as he heard a cry behind him to see Firiel falling to the ground. He caught her falling body. She saw him and forced a smile while trying to hold the pain.

He saw the arrow in her chest. She was clutching at it. "Hold on, Firiel. I will search for help."

Firiel shook her head, her breathing was shallow as though every breath brought pain upon her. "Too late… Er-Galadh… I can't…"

He laid her to the ground, careful not to cause her more pain. Tear rolled on his face as he realised that she was right. It was too late. The arrow pierced one of her lung but he refused to give up. "No, Firiel. You've been through worse. You can get through this." 

He stood up, ready to leave to find help but Firiel grabbed his arm. "Don't… leave… Be with me… until…"

"No, don't say that."

Firiel laughed sarcastically. A laugh that died shortly as it was interrupted by a cough. Her face showed a person who knew death was so near, it doesn't fear it anymore. "I don't care. For me… death is… my salvation." Smiling slightly, she coughed again. She choked and blood spilled from her mouth but she forced herself and said, "Don't give up… living…because of this…you promise? Alfirin… She needs… you. Take care… of her. Promise?"

Er-Galadh knew that she could not survive. Tearfully, he nodded before bending down and kissed her for the last time.

She responded feebly, her body shook convulsively in his arm. Firiel moaned, as she started to coughed and choked uncontrollably. Her eyes were shut and her hand gripped his tightly as she tried to suppressed the pain in her body. She writhed in agony when her eyes opened unexpectedly. "Kill me!" she cried before coughing out another blood. "End this pain, Er-Galadh. Please, end it. I cannot stand it anymore."

Er-Galadh looked at her, unable to do what she bid him to do. How could he end her life? The person that he loved? He closed his eyes, hoping that it was only a nightmare.

Firiel saw that he would not do it. She called his name feverishly in the midst of the coughing, urging him to help end the pain. Her hand gripped harder, producing blood and tears streaming down her face. She moved uncontrollably, hoping that the more pain she produce would fastened her death.

He felt her nail dug into his skin. The pain confirmed that this was real. He looked at her. She could not handle the pain anymore, he knew. He submitted to fate. Presenting her soul to Mandos, he kissed the top of her head and her shaking stopped. "Namarie, melamin. Amin mela lle," he whispered, and yanked free the arrow that was embedded deeply on her chest. She stiffened in his hand as the arrow passed through her flesh once more before she became completely limp in his arm. Taking a breath, she exhaled, "Thank you." And with that the dark orbs shone no more.

The sun crept up to the horizon, penetrating the eternal darkness, ending the battle. A hope for another day. But for Er-Galadh, the sun set with her leave. There was no more morning, no more hope. For him, there was no tomorrow.


	22. Sky After The Storm

AN: Sorry I haven't write for a very long time. Heaps of things been happening lately with school and stuff but now that I have the time to write again with the school hols, I promise, I'll update more sooner. 

Many, many huge thanks for all those who reviewed this story. All of them are very encouraging and sometimes, when I lose all hope, all I had to do was to read them and suddenly ideas started popping up in my head. Thanks guys! You're the best!

To those who read this story but had enough kindness not to flame and leave out the review in that account, thank you. For all these time, I have never received one and I'm very, very grateful for that. I guess it really shows that people do care about each other's feelings. 

All constructive criticism is still very much appreciated. If there is something that you don't like from this story, please inform me so then I can write a better, more qualified, I guess, chapter. 

Linmenel, I don't think this story is going to end anytime soon. Like what I've written from the very first chapter, this story is going to goes on till the actual Lord Of The Ring story line. After all this is a LotR fanfic. Hope you don't mind reading more of Firiel…

Solitude 22: Sky After The Storm

Legolas ran in the quiet wood. Something that he would usually be grateful for but not then. It was unusual in a site where a battle should be. _Has the battle ended? _He mulled. The silence unnerved him more than he already was, forcing him to stop his run and walked slowly, trying to make as little sound as possible while listening to any soundaround him.

The first sound came before long. It sounded very much like the evil snarls of orcs. Knowing that the orcs would be snarling at one from their side, he rushed forwards, hoping to stop the orcs before too late. He could saw the backs of the orcs soon enough. They were circling their unguarded prey with their weapons in their hands. 

Turning around to see the elves behind him, he saw that they knew already of what must be done. Truly, sometimes he felt as though he was the inexperienced one. He was far younger than the rest of them. Most of them were an old friend of his father. This task was, perhaps, a sort of test for him and to make sure that he did not fail; his father has used his best elves. This did not please him, but he must do this task if he was to impress his father.

The orcs moved away, closing down on their circle yet despite of this, he could not see the orcs' target. Surely whoever it was would be standing, ready to defend whatever was left. Legolas' heart sank. Could it be that there was no one left there but a dead body, waiting to be taken away? Shaking his head to rid of the unpleasant thoughts, he climbed a tree, following the rest of the elves.

Up there, he prepared his bow. Not the most brave way to fight but the most effective nevertheless. Looking around, he saw that the rest of the elves were ready, waiting for his command. He might be less experienced but they still respected him. Perhaps because of his father but there was no king Thranduil then. There was only him and now the elves waited for his command. He would not fail them.

He turned his head away, looking carefully at the orcs beneath them especially to the middle of the circle, where the victim should be. What he saw nearly made him dropped his arrow. It was Er-Galadh, and in his hand was a dead body, the reason why he did not put up a fight. Gripping his bow and arrow steadily, Legolas nodded grimly and surely before letting go of the arrow himself.

The arrow pierced through one of the orc's head. It jerked as the arrow passed through before falling stiffly to the ground. The orcs around it turned around as they saw their comrade fell but they also fell with an arrow to their necks. The orcs tried to fight back. Raising their shield and sword in defence while trying to find their attacker. But it was to no avail. Realising that it was fruitless to attack the concealed enemy, one orc decide to attack their intended, armless, prey. 

Turning around, he faced his victim and raised his sword, ready to kill the elf. But to his surprise, the elves did not hold the deceased elf anymore. A swift strike from the elf disarmed him instantly and what happened next leave its ruined mark, stained on the green grass under the shadow of Mirkwood. 

One more to the bloodied victims of this fruitless battle. Er-Galadh shook his head despondently as the thought crossed his mind. He sheathed the sword in his hand and slowly took up Firiel's dead body from where he laid her. Then he stood there, quietly, his mind reeling back. 

The orcs ran away. After living for so long in the woodland realm, they knew better that to fight an enemy unprepared who were obviously accustomed and skilled in fighting under the shade of Mirkwood. Seeing that the area was save, Legolas jumped down and walked towards his old friend. But Er-Galadh did not seemed to notice him at all as he walked away, carrying a dead body in his arms. 

Confused by his reaction, Legolas decided to run after him. "Er-Galadh!" he cried as the elf walked away towards the opening of the wood. 

To his surprise, Er-Galadh stopped. "Follow me, my Lord." That was all the answer he got before Er-Galadh resume his walk without turning back, knowing that Legolas was already running behind him with the rest of the elves from Mirkwood.

*****

Firiel looked around the dark room, filled with the cries and mourns of those who wish to be alive again. Everywhere she went, there were elves, asking to be permitted to leave the place. To live again. Firiel shook her head. For her this was probably the best place she could ever find herself on, if only it could be quieter. 

She walked on an on in the dark, endless chasm that surrounded her, through tears, through, to the ultimate darkness. Yet no matter how long she walked, she still could not reach it. The light behind her was more obtainable, closer than ever to her reach, if only she would turn around. She needed only to want it to have it. What paradox it is, she mulled. Realising that she could not reach it, not yet, she turned around.

Suddenly, around her there was light, instead of the gloom darkness. This light was bright, yet comfortable and she could saw through it to the centre, where there, stood a woman, clad in grey with a child, no more than 10 yrs old by the look of its height. The child held the woman tightly as she motioned her to come. Firiel, intrigued by the two of them, moved on, to the centre of the light. And what she saw there almost broke her heart.

She looked, firstly, to the woman clad in grey. Her familiar face was a mystery to her. She examined her closely but before she could ask of her name, the lady looked down and just then did Firiel realise the small hand that held on to hers, tugging it slightly to gained her attention. She looked down to the small child and cried out a name, half in grieve and joy. The smile on the child's face widen as Firiel put her arms tightly around her. "Elen," she whispered almost in disbelief. "My star. My daughter."

*****

It only took a short while before Er-Galadh reached the encampment where he knew Radagast reside. Although the walk was brief, the sight that greeted him along the way made it almost an unbearable journey. Everywhere he looked, the ground was marred with blood. Corpses are everywhere, both elves and orcs, and a sickening smell of blood and guts filled the air. The gloom atmosphere of the aftermath of a war. It brought to him so much memories, none of which are particularly soothing yet he immersed himself in it, closing his mind from the reality, forcing it out from his mind. Yet he knew that sooner or later, he must face it. But for now, he erected a wall, a barrier between the two. 

He walked onward, passing through the crowds around him. The dead bodies were mostly of elves. Er-Galadh shook his head dejectedly. He averted his gaze and saw one particular body in his arms. His hands gripped the body tighter to his body, trying to somehow share the warmth of his body, willing it to breath again. Feeling a tear threatening to fall, he put up his head, focussing on finding a person in his mind. 

Legolas thought he had never walk any faster than this before in his life. The view that surrounded his was, least to say, sickening. Though he had been in many battles before, he had never seen this amount of victim before, lying in the open air with only a few that was alive, walking to and fro, trying to find those that they could still help. Looking forward he saw the Er-Galadh stopping for a while before resuming his walk.

Before long Er-Galadh stopped again, in front of an elf that he knew well before. The two talk quietly before turning towards Legolas requiring gaze. "Legolas, nae saian luume" _Legolas, it has been very long. _

"Lord Elrond!" Legolas exclaimed and bowed in respect. And with that, Er-Galadh left the rest of the elves as he walk to the direction that Elrond had showed him to the person that he wanted.

Er-Galadh soon found whom he was searching for. He was amidst of many bodies, those that, Er-Galadh presumed, were still alive and could be saved. Taking a deep breath, he walked forward; ready to do what he came all the way for. 

Radagast looked up to see an elf standing in front of him with a body in his arm. He glanced once at the dead body and heed it no more, knowing that he could no longer do anything else to help and instead focussed his attention to the living once more. 

"Radagast. Do you not recognise her anymore?" 

Radagast lifted his head once more. "I cannot help h…" his words falter as he suddenly recognised the body in front of him. "Firiel!" 

*****

Saruman walked quietly away from the two he watched before. The news struck him even worse than to those who knew her better. Firiel cannot be dead, he thought to himself. Not now, not after what he had been through. Firiel cannot destroy it now, he mulled over and over again. Not even death is going to help you Firiel. Not even death!


	23. Only From Death Will You Find Life

AN: Just read more of Tolkien's work and got more inspiration… So I thought I start writing straight away so forgive me if the style of writing sort of changes as the story progress. 

I'm pretty sure that most of you would have a clue about Firiel's past. In this chapter, I will try to incorporate her past more clearly. Hopefully this can come in handy… 

Chapter 23: Only From Death Will You Find Life

Firiel released her hug and looked at her long lost daughter. Elen had black hair, just like her mother, though her face showed none of her elven heritage. People could easily mistake her for a mere child at first glance. The only difference was her leaf-shaped ears. 

Firiel traced her finger lightly on her daughter's face. "I'm sorry, Elen. Sorry for what I put you through. I shouldn't have forced you to run away from those orcs. If only I know that they would…they would…" A tear rolled down her face as the past replied itself in her mind's eyes.

"My live would have been worse if I survive through to Dol Guldur and the end would have been the same. Mother, it does not matter anymore," Elen smiled as she replied. "I just missed you a lot."

Firiel laughed at her daughter's answer. "I'm here now, my star and I promise I will never leave you again." Suddenly aware of the presence of another nearby, Firiel turned her head up, locking her gaze at the woman next to them, and stood up.

She looked at the woman's face, unable to let go of her gaze. She was an elf, that much was obvious even at first glance. With beautiful, flowing golden hair and her fair skin, she was easily the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. But then again, she was the only elven lady she had ever seen and elves are the fairest beings to ever walk in Middle-earth. 

Yet this was not the reason why she could not look away from the woman's face. It was the familiarity in it that compelled her, making her unable to look away. Those eyes, there were something about them that stirred something inside of her and she wondered why. It was as though she had seen it once and knew them so well.

The lady, well aware of the interest that Firiel clearly displayed, smiled and spoke, "What is it that ails your heart, my daughter?" 

Her voice, soft as the wind amongst the leaves, woke Firiel from her own mind. Tilting her head slightly to avert her gaze, Firiel answered, "I only want to know who might you be. It is your eyes, my Lady. It reminds me of something."

Listening to what Firiel asked, the lady smiled and said, "I…"

The sound suddenly disappeared as Firiel was sucked away. Or maybe it was more likely that her surrounding was sucked away from her for she did not feel anything unusual. When Firiel realised what happened, she tried to run after them but it was too late. 

Before long she was inside a hall. At the very end sat a king, mighty and glorified with a woman next to him, which she assumed as the queen. She motioned Firiel to come closer. 

Firiel looked around the hall as she walked forward and noticed that there were also others there. Many of them. Fifteen they were in total including the two who she had noticed before. 

Something inside of her stirred as she saw those around her. A voice rang inside her mind, a familiar voice. She heard the voice, but she did not believe it. Her heart refused to believe it thought the fact was laid right in front of her. 

She looked at them one by one carefully. None she recognised save the last one whom name she exclaimed at the first glance she saw his face. 

"Saruman!"

*****

Radagast watched as Er-Galadh lie the body of his apprentice to the ground. He stood up after a while, his gaze never leave the face of his loved one. Radagast walked forward and saw Firiel's peaceful expression and then he averted his look at the elf next to him. 

Er-Galadh stood rigid from the ground. His lips trembled slightly as he struggled to mutter a silent blessing so her soul may pass to Mandos Hall. Never once did he finished the blessing for he was too overcome by his grieve. What is the point of living anymore, he thought over and over again in his mind, breaking his wavering concentration yet again.

Radagast saw the hardship Er-Galadh was going through and placed his hand on his shoulder. Er-Galadh turned his head around in surprise. It seemed that so deep was his grieving that he did not hear Radagast approached. Er-Galadh's alarmed expression softens as he saw Radagast's face, smiling softly, comforting his wounded soul. "Leave her be, Er-Galadh, she's no longer belongs here in Middle-earth. Let her go. She would not want you to grieve over her like this. It would only troubles her soul." Knowing that Er-Galadh would need time by himself and he had done all that he could, Radagast walked away, leaving him alone in the darkness of his mind. 

After Radagast had left him, Er-Galadh stayed for a long while. His intention was to accompany her in her death but her last wish that he should stay alive no matter what stopped him from taking the final act. Instead, he kneeled down beside her body and started to dig a hole on the ground. At least, this way he could make sure that no creature would marred her body. This was the least he could do. 

*****

Confusion flooded Firiel's mind as she saw Saruman standing in front of her. "What happened?" She asked almost to herself. "How can Saruman be here if I am here? Didn't I…?"

"Yes, Firiel, you were killed in Middle-earth. Saruman is not here. Physically he is still in Middle-earth," a deep voice said to her. 

Firiel turned her head towards the source of the sound. A man was standing there, yet he was not one. Firiel knew who and what he was, but she refused to recognise him, not without a proof. "If it suits you, my Lord, may I ask of your name?"

"I am Namo, but I am well known amongst the quendi as Mandos." 

Firiel inhale sharply as the last word reached her keen elven ears. The name, she had predicted, yet it still caught her by surprise. She was about to reply him, but another voice already spoke in her part.

"Do you not believe in the Valar, Firiel?" Firiel averted her gaze towards the woman next to the man she was addressing before. "I know you have heard about us once. Your father told you about us, do you not remember?"

"How could you know?" Firiel asked. 

"You have not answer my question yet. Did your father not tell you about us?" the woman asked again in reply.

Firiel, knowing naught of her intention but it seemed that there was no point in lying since she knew of her past already. Reluctantly, she nodded. "Aye, my father have told me about the Valar, those who created Arda and dwells in Aman or the Blessed Realm. Fourteen they are in total, seven Valar and seven Valier." Looking around uncertainly, she recited a list of names that her father had told her so long ago. 

Saruman looked at Firiel as she spoke of all the detail she knew of the Valar. Her knowledge surprised him immensely for not so many creatures in Middle-earth obtained the vast knowledge that she had. "How can your father knew of all these?" he asked Firiel.

"I do not know," Firiel answered sadly. The mention of her father had brought much grieve from her part. It seemed that the old wound had not yet heal and now is being uncovered again. 

"Her father is one of the Numenor that survived the downfall of his race," Mandos answered for her. Saruman looked up in disbelief at Firiel but the half-elven seemed to be deep in her own thought.

The silence was interrupted with another question. "You remember all of us, yet you did not believe him?" Firiel raised her head to meet the person that addressed her. The woman that she now recognised as Varie, the Weaver, was the one that asked her. 

"I believed him once, but not anymore…." By the end of this word, Saruman opened his mouth in anger but Manwe shook his head slightly and Firiel continued, "not after his death." 

Firiel sighed. Her eyes were glazed as her mind cast back to the time when she saw her father for the last time. Her own voice rang in her head, repeating what her father had always said to her. 

__

**"May the Valar protect you, Father" Firiel spoke, half in tears.

__

"Do you believe in them, my daughter?" his father had replied then

__

"Yes, father. I do" her tears flowed hard down her cheek and her hand wiped it subconsciously yet again. 

Her father smiled as he saw his daughter's face, red from rubbing it too much. _"Then I shall be back. Fear not, Firiel. If nothing_ _else prevail, your faith alone will save me." _and with that he bent down. Placing his lips between her eyes, he gave her his last blessing. _"May the Valar protect you too, my child." _Turning around, he mounted his horse and galloped through the wall that protected Gondor and her inhabitants from the enemy, never turning back. **

Firiel tilted her head up as she felt a tear threatened to drop. She blinked her eyes furiously, trying to diminish the overwhelming sadness in her heart. Suddenly, she felt a comforting weight on her shoulder. Subconsciously she lowered her head and tears fell from her eyes.

The woman in front of her was clad in grey and Firiel saw that she was crying also, not from grieve of her own but because of the sorrow that she felt in the half-elf in front of her. The mere presence of the woman comforted Firiel with a comfort she had, in her long life, never felt before. 

"Why?" Firiel whimpered, feeling as though she was that barely 16 yrs old child again. Feeling betrayed, once again, by her faith, the faith that her father had given her. "Why did you not save him?"

"Your father chose his own destiny. He chose to trade his soul to save another and no blessing could save him from a certain death he knew he would obtain." The lady answered. "Just like what you did with Er-Galadh."

Firiel inhaled softly as she regained her control and composed herself back together. Looking at Nienna in front of her, she nodded in understanding before looking towards the Valar in the end of the Hall and asked in reference, "What is it that you want from me then for I am sure that I will not be here otherwise?" 

"We were informed of your doings in Middle-Earth, Firiel…" Firiel bowed her head as these were mentioned. Carefully, she glanced at the white wizard, standing not too far away from her. The look on Saruman's face convinced her that her suspicion was true. He was the one who told the Valar of the many wrongs she had done; yet she was not angry with him. Any punishment would not be enough to pay back of the harms she caused. But what would befall her took her by surprise. 

"…And so, you will be sent back to Middle-earth."

AN: All reviews are very much appreciated. Flames are welcome (I'm being very serious here. I personally think this chapter deserve one) and constructive criticism will be an honour to get.


	24. Recess of the Past

****

AN: This and the next chapter dwells more into the whole relationship between Er-Galadh and Firiel back in Gondor. From the time when Er-Galadh first met her to the time that he left her. I think it would be interesting to see the side of Firiel before she went through the hardship. But because the whole story will be too long to tell in detail, I will fast forward some part of it (You know how long it would take if I actually write it in detail… The whole 23 chapters (chapter 1-23, obviously) was meant to only go for 2-5 chapters in the first idea)

Elven Destiny, thank you for checking my story even though I haven't updated for ages. The only reason I can give you is that I was really busy with schoolwork and in two more days, it's exam time, so my progress was very slow lately. Plus, I lost the paper in which I wrote this chapter so…

****

Chapter 24: Recess of the Past

Er-Galadh looked down at the pallid face of his love for the last time. Her burial had become a sort of relief for him. With every soil that he put onto her body, he buried with it a part of his feeling for her. The last step was in front of him now, to let go of his feeling for her entirely. 

He did it once before when he decided to leave her back in Gondor. Then, he had thought her to be a human and as much as he hated to admit, he did not want to forsake his immortality for an unknown future for he did not know back then the depth of her feelings towards him. He thought that he was merely a brother for her, someone to look up to in times of troubles and nothing more. 

And now, looking at her face, he remembered back the time he first met her and of the ill news he had brought with him as well. He could not remember the place very well, but he could remember the dread he felt as he knocked on the wooden door. The dread that increased even more as a young girl opened the door, her face lit with happiness and anticipation, as she must have thought that it was her father that returned home. 

Er-Galadh could remember the frown in her face as she saw an elf standing in front of her instead. An elf covered in mud and blood, an elf amongst the community of men. But her face did not lose its delight as she faced the unexpected guest and invited him inside, noting that her father was away for a while but should return soon. He could remember her offer for him to stay over for a while until her father return. An offer that was cut short as she saw the weapon he carried. As she realised of the fate that had come to pass. 

Firiel was unconscious for a few days. He could remember contemplating on the fact that he must take care of the child, so young and naïve she seemed then for him. He could remember thinking to leave the place but he remembered the promise that he had given her father as he died in his arms. That he would take care of Firiel in his place even if it means leaving his previous life behind. And so he stayed and played his part. 

But Firiel was proved to be a burden for him. After she woken up, she soon remembered and realised that her father had passed away. This shocked her very much so and in her grief she took a refuge only in herself. Never once did he see a tear on her face or a mournful reminiscent of her lost father. She ignored Er-Galadh on the better day and would scream at him on the worse. His presence brought great evil for her and she avoided him. Life was not easy then for both of them. He, bound by his promise, stayed even though she had attempted, countless times, to make him leave. 

Er-Galadh would not leave, and Firiel, realising this, locked herself in attempt to shut him away from her life. This worried him even more for she would not leave the place even for mere nourishment. He tried to talk to her, but she was stubborn and in her stubbornness, she was slowly destroying herself. After a while, he could not take it anymore. He screamed at her, forcing her to let him in to her room. But no answer came. Not even a noise that indicated that a person was inside, yet he was very sure that she must be there. Overcame by fear, he forced his way inside the room and found a limp body, lying on the floor, helpless and perhaps even soulless. 

Er-Galadh ran towards her, hoping against all hopes that she was still alive. But he was not to be disappointed, it seemed, and he sighed in relief as he heard the soft breathing that came from the motionless body. He took care of her for a few days and Firiel, weak from the lack of sustenance, was forced to let him do what he wished. But nothing changed as far as their relationship goes, not until one night.

Er-Galadh was asleep, or so Firiel thought, when she walked away from her room, leaving him standing in a corner alone. She staggered out from her house, in desperate search of the night sky. Little did she know that a figure followed her outside, worried of what idea was in her mind. She sat down as she sang a tune softly to herself, gazing at the stars above when her keen ears caught a sound of movement nearby. She turned her head and saw, to her surprise, Er-Galadh standing next to her, his mournful eyes looked also towards the dark sky of the night. 

The sight of him then moved her. For all these times, she thought of him as an emotionless being, source of all her misery. But that night, it was as thought she saw him differently for the first time and she remembered all the times that he took care of her and all the times that she screamed at him, even though he had done naught to her. She felt remorseful at what she had done and wondered whether he missed his own family. After all, he had not seen any of his people ever since the day he stepped into her house. It was then that she feebly voiced her thought. 

Er-Galadh frowned at the young girl. What brought her to ask such things never crossed his mind, but he answered her nonetheless. "I do miss Mirkwood, yes. But what I had promised your father, I dare not defy."

His answer astounded her, as she did not know of this promise. For all those times that the two were together, never have they spoken of her father. It was as though reciting his name would awaken the ghost that would best be left alone. And awakened he was, as her expression changed, remembering her father.

Pushing away the memory, she instead asked, "What promise did you made that forced you to stay here?" 

Er-Galadh mused at her sudden change of manner. It seemed that what he did was to no vain after all. And perhaps if she would understand the predicament that happened between him and her father, perhaps then, she would hold no grudge against him any longer. But to bring himself to retell the incident brought unto him a great pain as the last image of her father crossed his mind. The person that saved his life and ultimately change it forever. 

Firiel saw his expression changed and wondered whether it is best to simply leave it be for the time being. The hurt in his eyes was clearly visible to her and she wished not to see it. She would have been happy to see it once, but she did not want to see it then. There was something about that night then that really brought her feeling to surface. His expression then, reminded her so much of her own father's every time she asked for the whereabouts of her mother. 

A Mother. A figure that was so common to others yet remained peculiar for her for she had never, in her lifetime, met this glorified figure of many of her friends. As far as she knew, she was put into this world without that figure. Without a mother. 

"Your father died to save my life, Firiel and I promise him to take his place and take care of you," Er-Galadh muttered as he went back from his thoughts. But no sound came back in reply and it was then that he realised that he had lost his audience. Firiel's eyes were glazed, lost in her own lane of memory while her body shook slightly from the chill night air. It was then that he realised how long the two of them had been out in the open. Worried of her condition, he looked for something to hide her from the cool air but he, not anticipating this, brought nothing of use with him. And so, reluctantly, he whispered, "Come, Firiel. It is cold here, perhaps it is best to come back inside." 

His voice scattered her thoughts and she stared blankly at him as her mind reeled, trying to remember the figure beside her. Yet she could not. And instead, she found herself wondering about him and how different he was from her and others that she knew yet how similar she was with him. This similarity that she had never seen or felt before. It awakened a part of her; a part that she never knew existed. 

So she followed him, to a place that, again, she could not recognise and gave no resistant as he put her in a bed and waited with her till she slept. And Firiel woke up, remembered nothing about going back into her room during the night or of what happened to the mysterious figure. What she could remember was the feeling of peace and warmth that he left her before she drifted away to her sleep. The feeling that was the same to those that her father often gave her and so she concluded that the night was perhaps simply a dream and that the figure was perhaps her father. Until she met him again.

Er-Galadh was looking out from a window as she made her way out from her room. His acute elven ears heard the slight footsteps that the young girl made and he turned his head towards the source of the sound. It was then that she saw again the same expression of the mysterious figure from her dream. 

"Er-Galadh?" she asked to herself in disbelief. The shock made her legs weak and she staggered, trying to find her balance.

Er-Galadh walks quickly to her side, catching her falling figure and supported it back up. Firiel clutched to his arms, her gaze never strayed from his face, showed countless questions that burned in her mind. 

Er-Galadh tried to bring her towards the nearby seat, worried about the sudden change he encountered then and the night before but Firiel refused to move. She refused to let go of the hands that held her close, refused to let go of the feeling that invaded her once more. The comfort that she thought was a dream given by a figure of her father. But now she slowly came to realise that it was not her father, nor was it a dream. She did went outside last night and it was Er-Galadh that she followed back home, that put her back in her bed, that held her close as she asked him not to leave her alone again. And before she could stop it, a lone tear rolled down from her eyes. 

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AN: Ok, that was an abrupt end to a chapter but if I continue it'll go on for another few pages and I think it's long enough as it is so I have separated the chapter into two. The next one will come very soon. As soon as I find the paper in which I wrote it down anyway.

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Character note: The night scene was a sort of purging that Firiel went through. As I've vaguely narrated, Firiel did not really deal with her feelings towards the leaving of her father and the coming of Er-Galadh into her life. She ran away instead, locking herself and, ultimately, her feelings. 

The reason for this is, I think, the absence of the mother figure in her life. I don't think that she could tell her father about many things because he was a knight after all and he would have little time with her and the time that he does have (a bit of guilt trip here) he would have dotted her to compensate the time he left her on her own. 

And I also think that Firiel is a bit of a spoiled child back then, especially because she did not have a mother and she was the only child… so I think it is interesting how far she went from that personality into the one we all know so well. But…I don't know. I hope this make some sense for you guys… (I lost myself somewhere along the way too, so…)


End file.
